Pro Tip when its time to make babies

[Stark]

over 90% of you guys who swear up and down they will neve r get hitched and never will have babies (apart from you Bay  ) will sooner or later father a child - its what we are here for and its great,trust me once you have your child all other shit becomes obsolete - natures cruelest trick.

Here is how you enjoy making babies:

1) find out what day your partners fertile days are
2) Fuck the shit out of her on all other days
3) Try to avoid having sex with her on the 3 - 4 - 6 days were she is fertile.



You thank me later for it

[Psychopath]

Related question, would you reckon a childless marriage realistic? 

[Stark]

Related question, would you reckon a childless marriage realistic? 

Why not?

I know of couples that never had children, they tend to get attached to their friends children a lot but a lot of them are happily married.

Its possibly the most retarded fucking decision to rush into having kids, you never be ready for them thats for sure but ffs enjoy life and everything so you are not looking back and think ah fuck I wish I could be free of my kids.

[MORTALCOIL]

over 90% of you guys who swear up and down they will neve r get hitched and never will have babies (apart from you Bay  ) will sooner or later father a child - its what we are here for and its great,trust me once you have your child all other shit becomes obsolete - natures cruelest trick.

Here is how you enjoy making babies:

1) find out what day your partners fertile days are
2) Fuck the shit out of her on all other days
3) Try to avoid having sex with her on the 3 - 4 - 6 days were she is fertile.



You thank me later for it

Doesn't work. Seen so many guys with charts and calendars up on their walls, downloading obstetrics encyclopedias from the net just to know when NOT too shoot their load and when too. Mother nature doesn't give a shit about it; you'll end up waiting for the bitch to pee on those six tests you bought at 3am God knows where and re-reading those indications to see if the blue bar has to be horizontal or vertical for you to be safe.

[Wiggs]

Doesn't work. Seen so many guys with charts and calendars up on their walls, downloading obstetrics encyclopedias from the net just to know when NOT too shoot their load and when too. Mother nature doesn't give a shit about it; you'll end up waiting for the bitch to pee on those six tests you bought at 3am God knows where and re-reading those indications to see if the blue bar has to be horizontal or vertical for you to be safe.

lmao!

[Stark]

Doesn't work. Seen so many guys with charts and calendars up on their walls, downloading obstetrics encyclopedias from the net just to know when NOT too shoot their load and when too. Mother nature doesn't give a shit about it; you'll end up waiting for the bitch to pee on those six tests you bought at 3am God knows where and re-reading those indications to see if the blue bar has to be horizontal or vertical for you to be safe.

Lol i see you've been there.

Well you are wrong, woman do know - I mean its not any different to animals they have their heat days as well - a woman that keeps track of things as healthy knows when she is fertile.

Men well we haven't a clue - so you need to be creative to find out

[Stark]

Doesn't work. Seen so many guys with charts and calendars up on their walls, downloading obstetrics encyclopedias from the net just to know when NOT too shoot their load and when too. Mother nature doesn't give a shit about it; you'll end up waiting for the bitch to pee on those six tests you bought at 3am God knows where and re-reading those indications to see if the blue bar has to be horizontal or vertical for you to be safe.

hahah actually here's a confession - when I finally wrapped my head around the idea that now or never I want a kid there is still the ol' alpha male brain that tells you - KEEP A BACKDOOR OPEN!!! KEEP IT OPEN!!! and you secretly celebrate everytime the pregnancy test comes back negative - you tend to look sad and kinda go - oh i'm so sorry baby, ah well we try next time

Lol

The day I found out my wife was pregnant she peed on the stick we look at it only one line comes up - I go:
Ah well don't worry we have a lot of time left
Thinking puh save again muhahahahahahahahah

THAN SHE LOOKS AGAIN AND THERE ARE TWO LINES!!!!!

I was never so confused hahahahahahahahhahahhaha hahahahahhah

[MORTALCOIL]

Lol i see you've been there.

Well you are wrong, woman do know - I mean its not any different to animals they have their heat days as well - a woman that keeps track of things as healthy knows when she is fertile.

Men well we haven't a clue - so you need to be creative to find out

1-And she certainly ain't gonna tell you.

2-Never works.

[Stark]

1-And she certainly ain't gonna tell you.

2-Never works.

I found out

and it did work.... for a while

[El Diablo Blanco]

Too bad your dad didn't follow this advice

[Stark]

Too bad your dad didn't follow this advice

Well they tried their fucking hardest to kill me once I was in their life
For the first 3 years that is - but as so many other people have found out for themselves since than - its not that easy to get rid of me and its better to be on my good side than on the "other" side, better and healthier

tata

[Palpatine Q]

over 90% of you guys who swear up and down they will neve r get hitched and never will have babies (apart from you Bay  ) will sooner or later father a child - its what we are here for and its great,trust me once you have your child all other shit becomes obsolete - natures cruelest trick.

Here is how you enjoy making babies:

1) find out what day your partners fertile days are
2) Fuck the shit out of her on all other days
3) Try to avoid having sex with her on the 3 - 4 - 6 days were she is fertile.



You thank me later for it

I laugh every time one of these stupid fucks carries on about how he's "never' having a child

[Stark]

I laugh every time one of these stupid fucks carries on about how he's "never' having a child

You and me did the same thing back than

I declared my brother officially insane when he told me that his wife is pregnant with like 25 years old.

[Shockwave]

I never worried about it.
Got married, had sex, now I have a child on the way. No big deal. I didnt particularly want kids, nor was I particularly scared.
Its the natural progression of life.

[Mattyh7688]

Trenbolone.. the birth control of the God of Hormones.

[Stark]

I never worried about it.
Got married, had sex, now I have a child on the way. No big deal. I didnt particularly want kids, nor was I particularly scared.
Its the natural progression of life.

Wait until you have the kid

[che]

Wait until you have the kid

Exactly , I didn't care about the  kid until I held him for the first time , best thing that  ever happened to me.

[Stark]

Exactly , I didn't care about the  kid until I held him for the first time , best thing that  ever happened to me.

i wouldn't say it was THE best thing every - the first time I cracked one off by accident was pretty special too, but I agree it was surreal and weird.
took me nearly a year to fully grasp that this is my son, even now its not easy since he speaks very little German (I am full time working) and a lot of latvian which I don't understand very well - I just love him a lot and have this crazy urge to reverse history for me and what happened to me as a child and make 1000% sure it doesn't happen to him.
But it will get better.

[bighead]

I never worried about it.
Got married, had sex, now I have a child on the way. No big deal. I didnt particularly want kids, nor was I particularly scared.
Its the natural progression of life.

  once you see and hold the little fucker your life will NEVER be the same again. If you tend to be a thinker the whole blessing and responsibility may seem a bit daunting, but you will be more then willing to step to the plate. Its as if this whole chemical reaction takes place in your mind and body, and if you try to hard to intellectualize it you can fuck yourself up.

[the trainer]

If Ronnie coleman could impregnate lenda murray that would be a good baby for future mr o.

[Stark]

  once you see and hold the little fucker your life will NEVER be the same again. If you tend to be a thinker the whole blessing and responsibility may seem a bit daunting, but you will be more then willing to step to the plate. Its as if this whole chemical reaction takes place in your mind and body, and if you try to hard to intellectualize it you can fuck yourself up.

thats great advice - just go with the flow let it all happen and surrender your freedom

[Shockwave]

thats great advice - just go with the flow let it all happen and surrender your freedom

Pretty much my plan. Anytime I start to think about it, I get worried, but all my friends/family tell me as soon as I hold him, my life will change, so hell with it.

[El Diablo Blanco]

If Ronnie coleman could impregnate lenda murray that would be a good baby for future mr o.

Didn't he date Vicky Gates?  She was a beast as well. That baby would have the best hormone response in history.

[Stark]

Pretty much my plan. Anytime I start to think about it, I get worried, but all my friends/family tell me as soon as I hold him, my life will change, so hell with it.

The interesting thing is that it all falls into place.

and fuck me its a lot of fun, nobody *apart from my wife made me laugh like my boy

Plus don't forget, if you work its a hell lot easier for you (baby wise) since you get everyday to leave the house, its hard because all of a sudden you worry about job security and try to do a better job and all but depending on what job you do you get a lot of distraction.

[MORTALCOIL]

  once you see and hold the little fucker your life will NEVER be the same again. If you tend to be a thinker the whole blessing and responsibility may seem a bit daunting, but you will be more then willing to step to the plate. Its as if this whole chemical reaction takes place in your mind and body, and if you try to hard to intellectualize it you can fuck yourself up.

That pretty much sums it up.