Bar Etiquette (or lack thereof)

[outby43]

So I have a bad habit of offending people when I am drunk.  Don't get me wrong...I am not a prick but not everyone gets my sense of humor and yes I do sometimes go over the line but if I think I can make people laugh then I have no filter.  My wife told me to count to 10 before I reply with something.  The flaw I see in this is there is a very slim opportunity to get my joke or comment in before the conversation shifts to a different topic then I'll look like a fucking retard trying to be witty after the fact.  Many people tell me I should have been a comedian.  Others tell me I should fuck off and I am a dick (but not many) usually uptight women or holy rollers.  My family tells me I have gotten better at controlling myself except for my aunt who is a lesbian.  She has a warped sense of humor too and always says that I am lame now.  Oh and she's 58.
 
So what's the best course of action?  Do some coke, weed, booze and try to recapture what I once was or should I continue to be respectful of others.

I feel like Dell Griffith in Planes Trains and Automobiles when he tells a disgusted Steve Martin "People like me, My wife likes me, I like me."

[Tapeworm]

If you could Getbig around at 100% irl we wouldn't need Getbig.  I'm sure you have a speed somewhere between coked out lunatic and republican economist.  Toning it down a bit, keeping off the sensitive religion/sex/race jokes, etc, doesn't equate to losing yourself.  Time and a place, Del.

Ps - Nice griddle marks.

[bigmc]

So I have a bad habit of offending people when I am drunk.  Don't get me wrong...I am not a prick but not everyone gets my sense of humor and yes I do sometimes go over the line but if I think I can make people laugh then I have no filter.  My wife told me to count to 10 before I reply with something.  The flaw I see in this is there is a very slim opportunity to get my joke or comment in before the conversation shifts to a different topic then I'll look like a fucking retard trying to be witty after the fact.  Many people tell me I should have been a comedian.  Others tell me I should fuck off and I am a dick (but not many) usually uptight women or holy rollers.  My family tells me I have gotten better at controlling myself except for my aunt who is a lesbian.  She has a warped sense of humor too and always says that I am lame now.  Oh and she's 58.
 
So what's the best course of action?  Do some coke, weed, booze and try to recapture what I once was or should I continue to be respectful of others.

I feel like Dell Griffith in Planes Trains and Automobiles when he tells a disgusted Steve Martin "People like me, My wife likes me, I like me."

be yourself

if people dont like you fuck them

just hang around with like minded people who do

[Tapeworm]

On the other hand maybe youre surrounded by a bunch of dull, uptight suburbanites who would do better to stay home in front of the TV if they can't take a little off color humor in a bar.  Plenty of those around.  Tuff one.

[Tito24]

any examples?

[deceiver]

Advise from deceiver - don't go to fucking bars.

[POB]

If you could Getbig around at 100% irl we wouldn't need Getbig.  I'm sure you have a speed somewhere between coked out lunatic and republican economist.  Toning it down a bit, keeping off the sensitive religion/sex/race jokes, etc, doesn't equate to losing yourself.  Time and a place, Del.

Ps - Nice griddle marks.

This is pretty good advice no religion,politics,or race jokes,I'd leave out fat chic jokes too just for good measure

[Shockwave]

Intentionally offend people if they are uptight and stupid.
Everyone else will laugh, and if they dont, they suck anyway.

[Dreadlifter]

a very good friend of mine gets so sever;y aggressive every time hes drunk, it always always ends in a fight.and ofcourse he always gets drunk in clubs and bars where there are many people.
and the won fights just encourage him to pick a fight again next time.
i wonder why is this?deep frustrations inside?is this normal?i dont drink, so i dont know

he goes as far as attackng cops too when they are called to the places.

we went out yesterday, same story again

tod him im not having any of it, the law  in this nation on these things is ridiculous, you lose driving licence for being aggressive if even if the fight had nothing to do with street driving, and if alc is involved, youll have to see a freaking psychiatrist before they return licence undr probation terms again.they then test you for all drugs and alc.etc.

when sober he says yeah he knows that and will consider this, but as soon hes drunk, its the same over and over.

the guy will eventualy run into someone with a knife or gun and itll be lights out

You don't go out for a beer with a guy like this. Like you say eventually he'll run into someone who takes it to a whole other level and it might be you that pays for the shit he causes.

[Andy Griffin]

If people don't want to hear off-color remarks they should stay away from bars and hang out at Starbucks or some other gay place instead.

[Alex23]

If you could Getbig around at 100% irl we wouldn't need Getbig.  I'm sure you have a speed somewhere between coked out lunatic and republican economist.  Toning it down a bit, keeping off the sensitive religion/sex/race jokes, etc, doesn't equate to losing yourself.  Time and a place, Del.

Ps - Nice griddle marks.

well said.

[outby43]

Advise from deceiver - don't go to fucking bars.

Believe me I don't go to bars often and I I am talking about the random get together at someones birthday party or holidays or (the worst)  Work parties...this one has fucked me more than once. 

 

[outby43]

any examples?

you know that is the thing...I remember the night pretty well but I don't remember what I said to make people upset.  The last thing I remember is people laughing their balls off so I get on a roll.  Meanwhile, I fail to acknowledge the frail, pale skinned, neurotic mess standing behind her husband giving me the stink eye.

[wild willie]

So I have a bad habit of offending people when I am drunk.  Don't get me wrong...I am not a prick but not everyone gets my sense of humor and yes I do sometimes go over the line but if I think I can make people laugh then I have no filter.  My wife told me to count to 10 before I reply with something.  The flaw I see in this is there is a very slim opportunity to get my joke or comment in before the conversation shifts to a different topic then I'll look like a fucking retard trying to be witty after the fact.  Many people tell me I should have been a comedian.  Others tell me I should fuck off and I am a dick (but not many) usually uptight women or holy rollers.  My family tells me I have gotten better at controlling myself except for my aunt who is a lesbian.  She has a warped sense of humor too and always says that I am lame now.  Oh and she's 58.
 
So what's the best course of action?  Do some coke, weed, booze and try to recapture what I once was or should I continue to be respectful of others.

I feel like Dell Griffith in Planes Trains and Automobiles when he tells a disgusted Steve Martin "People like me, My wife likes me, I like me."

Quit drinking and stay away from bars......go out to dinner.....travel more....take up golf or fishing.....just make sure to steer clear of the booze.

[Agnostic007]

Back in the day when I was in the military stationed over seas, we would party every weekend. Over the course of time it just became an unwritten rule, if you want to hang with us, you don't start crap. If we found someone to be a mean drunk, they didn't go with us next time. Life is so much better when you can avoid those people. 

[BigCyp]

Hahaha, reminds me of a time I worked in a predominantly female office environment (no not ann summers back office) when this fat bitch on the desk behind me exclaims "I don't know why I can't shift this weight? No matter how many stepaerobics classes I go to it doesn't make a difference?"

I waited until after a couple of reassuring replies/excuses had been given by her colleagues to set the scene, before shouting loudly "Maybe it's because you eat a WHOLE pack of chocolate biscuits at your desk every day MICHELLE?"

Safe to say, it went down a treat (in my mind).

[Mitch]

Pics of the aunt in some lesbian porn or all of this just didn't happen

[Purge_WTF]

Advise from deceiver - don't go to fucking bars.

[bigmikecox]

Drunks are annoying as fuck! Nobody ever wanted to start a fight when they are stoned!

LEGALIZE IT!!!

[Palpatine Q]

I never understood why rational, intelligent people turn into flaming assholes when they drink.

[Agnostic007]

I never understood why rational, intelligent people turn into flaming assholes when they drink.

My guess is they are assholes to begin with, just keeping a lid on it most of the time

[Andy Griffin]

My guess is they are assholes to begin with, just keeping a lid on it most of the time

qft

Alcohol doesn't change people; it just makes them more of what they already are.

[bigmc]

Society is but a thin veneer covering the barbarism of man.

Remove the shackles of societal norms by introducing something that short-circuits the brain's ability to filter reptilian thought from socially acceptable behavior, and you get your average drunken lout.

We're all animals. Some of us do a better job of covering it up even when push comes to shove. Yet some of us are looking for reasons to let the animal out.

meltdown

[MORTALCOIL]

I'm a greedy, selfish, agressive capitalist most of the time and I become quite gentle, warm and funny once drunk. What should I do?

[Fortress]

Society is but a thin veneer covering the barbarism of man.

Remove the shackles of societal norms by introducing something that short-circuits the brain's ability to filter reptilian thought from socially acceptable behavior, and you get your average drunken lout.

We're all animals. Some of us do a better job of covering it up even when push comes to shove. Yet some of us are looking for reasons to let the animal out.

Spot-on

That alcohol is so acceptable in most societies continues to stun me. More often than not, folks who indulge do so past the point of responsibility and, in many cases, become a general nuisance.

Think about it. Domestic violence. Public altercation. Traffic accidents. In a majority of these situations, what is the common denominator? Fuckin' alcohol.

I bounced for many years and can say without hesitation that alcohol is a demon drug.

If I had a nickle for every doughy jackoff who made the attempt to beat my ass when intoxicated, I'd be wealthy.

Bloody ridiculous. Girls crying ... people throwing up all over themselves and everything in sight ... guys fighting and making threats ... shit getting broken ... females fucking greasy guys because they don't know what's happening ... individuals behaving in absolutely deplorable fashion ...