Author Topic: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!  (Read 9011 times)

Roger Bacon

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Lets do this!!

dr.chimps

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No.

Roger Bacon

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Hulkotron

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No.

Yeah I'm not really excited about this idea.

Roger Bacon

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Yeah I'm not really excited about this idea.

I'm sick, and I did take two doses of Nyquil in the last 30 minutes.  My judgement is off...

El Diablo Blanco

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I don't get the premise.

But I'll start.


I saw Mr. Grey, the handsome man who wanted to whip me with chains and fuck my kunt with an axe.  I said yes....

240 is Back

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What had happened...

Roger Bacon

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El Diablo, 240, you've rescued me from great embarrassment, and saved this thread!


Big Chiro Flex

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2 weeks ago... black kid goes and pisses all over the gym toilet. White kid goes to toilet after him and comes out and says "WTF?!" to black kid after seeing the pissy toilet. Black kid says nothing, white kid walks away. 5 minutes later, white kid is doing DB pull overs and black kid sprints across the gym and lays out the most sucker-ish of punches to white kid in the middle of his set. White kid takes 2-3 more pummels to the face before he is out cold. Cops show up within 3 minutes to arrest black kid.

True story.

Roger Bacon

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2 weeks ago... black kid goes and pisses all over the gym toilet. White kid goes to toilet after him and comes out and says "WTF?!" to black kid after seeing the pissy toilet. Black kid says nothing, white kid walks away. 5 minutes later, white kid is doing DB pull overs and black kid sprints across the gym and lays out the most sucker-ish of punches to white kid in the middle of his set. White kid takes 2-3 more pummels to the face before he is out cold. Cops show up within 3 minutes to arrest black kid.

True story.

Very good!!!

Now make one up!


Big Chiro Flex

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #10 on: September 06, 2012, 10:05:19 PM »
Very good!!!

Now make one up!


The black kid had a job, fathered all of his children, was an upstanding....you know what I'm sorry I'm just not good at this fiction writing.

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #11 on: September 06, 2012, 10:26:27 PM »
I was at the gym, doing cardio when I saw this 40 something milf walk by.  Almost breaking my neck and falling off the treadmill to catch a longer glance.  Slightly augmented milf tits, blond highlights, fairly tan with a white t-shirt on, and short feminine Adidas shorts.  After I finished my 20 minutes of HIIT, I move on into the back room of the gym where all the ab equipment is concentrated.  I'm in their lying on a mat doing leg raises when I smell some really unique perfume.  In walks the milf, I give her a brief smile and continue, moving onto some crunches.  She starts doing yoga warmups, kind of distracting to me but like a true getbigger I ignore it and continue.  She moves to the mat right next to me, I give her a look and she says "Thicker mat, hope you don't mind?".  "No no, by all means" I say.  

She rears up, facing away from me while I lay their between sets catching my breath.  She moves into downward facing dog.  Holy shit I can clearly see her white cotton panties, and the full out line of her cantaloupe (thanks irongrip400!).  I can't help but stare.  All of a sudden she turns her head around and notices I'm staring, and the tent that's sprung up in my pants.  She gives me the dirtiest look I've ever received, like I'm a disgusting pervert.  She goes "oh... what the fuck" as she jumps up and goes back into the main part of the gym.

I shake it off, try to figure what the fuck that was all about, and make my way to the locker room trying to avoid this psycho.  I take off my shirt, noticing my pumped upper body in the mirror. I can't help but give myself a smile.  I decide to shower, because this is a rare occasion when the locker room isn't full of old queers (30 minutes till closing time).  I strut to the shower, noticing the door I entered through slam shut.  The closer on it is out of adjustment, I figure the little wedge that holds it in place gave way.  I continue into the big open shower room, and turn on the third or fourth shower head close to the back corner of the room.  

20 seconds in, and I hear what sounds like someone darting towards the shower, running with a light foot like a ninja.  "What the fuck?" I wonder, half way nervous.  Another one of those homos that so frequently hang around in here?  I shut off the shower, grab my towel and walk over to investigate.  

BOOM!!  A gun in my face, all I can make out for what seems like minutes is how large .45 calliber is when you're looking down the barrel.  It's the size of a dime, I'm shaking...

To be continued...

The Abdominal Snoman

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #12 on: September 06, 2012, 10:37:06 PM »
I was at the gym, doing cardio when I saw this 40 something milf walk by.  Almost breaking my neck and falling off the treadmill to catch a longer glance.  Slightly augmented milf tits, blond highlights, fairly tan with a white t-shirt on, and short feminine Adidas shorts.  After I finished my 20 minutes of HIIT, I move on into the back room of the gym where all the ab equipment is concentrated.  I'm in their lying on a mat doing leg raises when I smell some really unique perfume.  In walks the milf, I give her a brief smile and continue, moving onto some crunches.  She starts doing yoga warmups, kind of distracting to me but like a true getbigger I ignore it and continue.  She moves to the mat right next to me, I give her a look and she says "Thicker mat, hope you don't mind?".  "No no, by all means" I say.  

She rears up, facing away from me while I lay their between sets catching my breath.  She moves into downward facing dog.  Holy shit I can clearly see her white cotton panties, and the full out line of her cantaloupe (thanks irongrip400!).  I can't help but stare.  All of a sudden she turns her head around and notices I'm staring, and the tent that's sprung up in my pants.  She gives me the dirtiest look I've ever received, like I'm a disgusting pervert.  She goes "oh... what the fuck" as she jumps up and goes back into the main part of the gym.

I shake it off, try to figure what the fuck that was all about, and make my way to the locker room trying to avoid this psycho.  I take off my shirt, noticing my pumped upper body in the mirror. I can't help but give myself a smile.  I decide to shower, because this is a rare occasion when the locker room isn't full of old queers (30 minutes till closing time).  I strut to the shower, noticing the door I entered through slam shut.  The closer on it is out of adjustment, I figure the little wedge that holds it in place gave way.  I continue into the big open shower room, and turn on the third or fourth shower head close to the back corner of the room.  

20 seconds in, and I hear what sounds like someone darting towards the shower, running with a light foot like a ninja.  "What the fuck?" I wonder, half way nervous.  Another one of those homos that so frequently hang around in here?  I shut off the shower, grab my towel and walk over to investigate.  

BOOM!!  A gun in my face, all I can make out for what seems like minutes is how large .45 calliber is when you're looking down the barrel.  It's the size of a dime, I'm shaking...

To be continued...

totally expected the milf to be in the shower with you ready to bang. Getbig has matured for sure. Bravo

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #13 on: September 06, 2012, 10:42:17 PM »
"You want to rape me with your eyes you fucking perver!?"...  I snap out of my trance, it's the milf from the ab room!  Still holding the glock in my face.  "What a fucked up birthday this has been" I think to myself.  This is a girl that knows guns, and looks ded serious.  "You want to rape something you mother fucker?",  "I'll rape you, drop the towel!".  Confused as hell, I drop the towel (halfway wishing I had trimmed my pubes, while scared absolutely shitless..)

"TURN AROUND!!!", as I'm trying to digest what's going on she bitch slaps me with her other hand "NOW!" she shouts!

As I turn around, I feel a strong, but womanly Tai-Bo/Aerobics class style kick to my pelvus.  Down I go, covering my face with my forearms just missing knocking out all my teeth.  I look up at her frightened, and she says "Roll over, I hope you do anal!!".  I tear up, confused and almost crying when I hear what sounds like seven or ten or twelve people running towards the shower room.  

I'm saved!!!

Through my blurry tears I make out the familiar silhouette and than face of all my friends and family.  "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!"  The "milf", that I now recognize as my former DARE officer from Middle School throws the gun down next to my head.  With a light tick it hits the floor and I realize how fake it is.

It was all a joke, everyone starts laughing as I lay their naked sobbing with my face on the disgusting bacteria covered tile floor.


SF1900

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #14 on: September 06, 2012, 10:42:28 PM »
Lame thread.
X

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #15 on: September 06, 2012, 11:09:54 PM »
totally expected the milf to be in the shower with you ready to bang. Getbig has matured for sure. Bravo

Thanks!!! I put about 25 minutes into it!!!  8)


Kahn.N.Singh

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #16 on: September 06, 2012, 11:44:25 PM »
Here at Getbig Writer's Workshop, we aim to show, not tell, by adhering to that old Lawrencean dictum which states, "trust the tale, not the teller." Although plot and narrative have their place in our stories, we pay particular attention to character development by creating salient psychological tensions and compelling situational conflicts through the working out of seemingly unresolvable personal contradictions and impasses. Our writers represent a rich variety of genres and styles. For example, you might enjoy spending a solitary evening indoors by reading a novice writer's award-winning, scratch-n-sniff, melancholic, yet defiant, memoir, The Sorrows of Young Tbombz: Chick-Banged and Not Sore About It, or, if you're in for a belletristic travelogue, you'll wish to form a reading group around our advanced student PIP's long-titled, but evocatively descriptive, My Midnight Express: How a Mistaken Turn Led Me Into a Turkish Prison Rather than My Gym's Showers, and Why Soap-on-a-Rope Spared Me a Deep Tissue Massage from a Guard Named Hamidou.

DroppingPlates

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #17 on: September 06, 2012, 11:52:21 PM »

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #18 on: September 06, 2012, 11:56:37 PM »
Kahn.N.Singh, you're a gentleman and a scholar.  I thoroughly enjoyed reading that summery, it nearly brought me to tears!  You've lent credibility and class to this thread!  Your creative genius is invaluable to us, and for that we thank you!

BigCyp

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #19 on: September 07, 2012, 01:19:00 AM »
Beep beep beep beep beep beepbeep beep beepBEEP BEEP 'Oh shit!!!! It's like 6AM already...shit I gotta clean this house and make breakfast before the Bitch gets back from morning training'. Rob puts his favourite camouflage flag nor fail fitted pyjamas on, picks up his iphone 4S and begins recording himself walking down the stairs. After a solid 2 hours of cleaning the house, doing the washing, and scraping Dana's bumhair laden wax strips of the bathroom floor, he sits down to catch his breath. Thank God she doesn't have periods anymore' Rob muses.
     Suddenly, an engine roars on the driveway, a door slams hard, and the tell tale sound of diamonds and knuckles scraping on the ground alerts Rob that the master of the house is back earlier than expected. Within seconds he's in the kitchen furiously trying to put together the masters first meal of the day; 30 egg whites with tribulus terrestris and horny goat weed pancakes. 'Hey Dana!' He calls out to the hallway, desperately trying to disguise the panic in his voice. 'THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING DANA YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES ROB?? ITS FUCKING DAN NOW, D     A     N. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? DO THESE DELTS LOOK LIKE BITCH DELTS TO YOU?? WHAT ABOUT THIS ROB (She grabs her package and pulls it up michael jackson style) DOES A BITCH HAVE ONE OF THESE?? HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES?' Rob's shoulders slump, and he tries his best to steady his shaking hands and finish breakfast. He thinks back to when they first met, nearly 5 years ago at the ice machine outside room 7 at the Mirage Hotel. (To be continued)
      

TrueGrit

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #20 on: September 07, 2012, 01:31:43 AM »
Helped out HANDICAPPED bros at the gym! (post #1)

Brothers,

I am thinking of getting into coaching for the disabled, both those with physical and mental disabilities- maybe something along the lines of the Special Olympics. A recent experience at the gym has, indeed, made me realize that NO MATTER what disability a person has, it should not deter them from pursuing the Iron Warrior lifestyle!

I was training back with my chauffeur and personal assistant, Nobby. We were doing weighted chins- the extra weight being a pencil neck we collared, frog-marched over to the chinning bar, and had him hang onto my legs as I repped out 10 chins, screaming with effort the whole time.
After my set, I noticed a number of handicapped folk training- some sort of group-home outing, no doubt. Nobby and I watched as one of the group-home workers tried to show a lad in a wheelchair how to do lat pulldowns, and had him using only 3 plates of the stack!
"This won't do", I sneered, and Nobby and I headed over to the woman and the handicapped fellow. "You think just because this man is wheelchair bound that he is a weakling?" I asked her. As she began to answer, Nobby smacked her across the face as I screamed "SILENCE!!" so loud the equipment rattled.
"Alright, brother- time for some REAL work!" I cried, put wrist straps on the man, put the pin to the bottom of the stack, added a 45 to it, pulled the pulldown-bar to his chest and while I held it there Nobby wrapped the straps around the bar. "BUSINESS- AS USUAL- NOW SQUEEZE....FEEL THE NEGATIVES!!" I roared, then let go of the bar. It snapped up, taking the man with it, and he flew over the pulldown machine and landed on the floor behind it, then began going into convulsions- he was having a seizure!
I looked at Nobby. He looked at me. I put my hands deep into my pockets and, looking as innocent as possible, sauntered off, whistling a piece by Handel. Nobby lumbered off in the other direction, stopping only to punch a punk wearing a wife beater reading 'Dumbell 150' on it in the face.

Later on, we headed over to the squat rack to do shrugs- but someone was using it! In this case, we decided not to toss them aside as a truly inspirational scene took place before our eyes.
There was a lad of about 20ish, suffering from Down's Syndrome, doing squats with 315- he was really putting superhuman effort into his sets! Once he was done, I approached him, offering my support.
"Bloody ****ing well done!" I cried. "What is your name?" I asked.
"Mawvin" he replied. Marvin was a happy looking fellow, and behind a pair of glasses with lenses 2 inches thick I could detect a warrior spirit. "Marvin, look about" I said. "You are the strongest of your group...I do hope YOU are taking bloody ****ing charge of this lot!" I cried. "See that man over there- the one in the wheelchair, drinking Gatorade...why not go over and claim that bloody Gatorade for yourself!"
"Roight. Show 'em who's bloody fookin boss!" Nobby snarled.
Marvin's eyes lit up, and he burst forth, screaming, in a frenzy not seen since Japanese 'banzai' charges of WWII, and charged straight at the man in the wheelchair, clotheslining him out of his chair. He snatched the gatorade bottle, and his maniacal banzai attack not quite over, he made a screaming dash at a fellow who was sitting on a bench analysing a bright shiny object he had picked up off the floor. Marvin crashed into him, and began putting the boots to him. At that moment, several group home workers and gym members tackled him, and as he screamed obscenities and struggled, one of the workers shoved a needle into his thigh and injected him with what was, no doubt, a powerful sedative. In 10 seconds, he stopped moving and the paramedics were called.

"I have seen enough. These poor fellows are being denied their DIGNITY!" I screamed. We headed out of the gym...and while heading out a man followed us into the parking lot. "Hi...look, I'm the manager of the group home...call me 'Projection'...and I know you guys are only trying to help, but-" at that point he put his hand on Nobby's shoulder "...we prefer to handle them ourselves!" he said warmly.
He had touched Nobby. The end was near, so very, very near.
I stepped back. The skies darkened, birds flew away, and Nobby stood there like stone, as the ramifications of what had just happened dawned on him.
Sreaming "FOOKIN POOFTAH!!!" Nobby delivered a kick, which would have sent a soccer ball into orbit, right into Projection's testicles, lifting him up a few feet into the air. While hanging in mid-air, Nobby lashed him across the face with his chain, and he came to the ground like a pile of dirty laundry, and lay quivering, in the fetal position with his hands between his legs, on the parking lot.

We jumped into the Rolls and roared off, as concerned members came out of the gym and, no doubt, the authorities were called.

Nobby and I are checking into coaching opportunities at the Special Olympics.
Any bros have experience in that department?
O

BigCyp

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #21 on: September 07, 2012, 01:48:43 AM »
Hahahaha that was gold truegrit  ;D

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #22 on: September 07, 2012, 01:50:04 AM »
Beep beep beep beep beep beepbeep beep beepBEEP BEEP 'Oh shit!!!! It's like 6AM already...shit I gotta clean this house and make breakfast before the Bitch gets back from morning training'. Rob puts his favourite camouflage flag nor fail fitted pyjamas on, picks up his iphone 4S and begins recording himself walking down the stairs. After a solid 2 hours of cleaning the house, doing the washing, and scraping Dana's bumhair laden wax strips of the bathroom floor, he sits down to catch his breath. Thank God she doesn't have periods anymore' Rob muses.
     Suddenly, an engine roars on the driveway, a door slams hard, and the tell tale sound of diamonds and knuckles scraping on the ground alerts Rob that the master of the house is back earlier than expected. Within seconds he's in the kitchen furiously trying to put together the masters first meal of the day; 30 egg whites with tribulus terrestris and horny goat weed pancakes. 'Hey Dana!' He calls out to the hallway, desperately trying to disguise the panic in his voice. 'THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING DANA YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!!!!!!! HOW MANY TIMES ROB?? ITS FUCKING DAN NOW, D     A     N. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?? DO THESE DELTS LOOK LIKE BITCH DELTS TO YOU?? WHAT ABOUT THIS ROB (She grabs her package and pulls it up michael jackson style) DOES A BITCH HAVE ONE OF THESE?? HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES?' Rob's shoulders slump, and he tries his best to steady his shaking hands and finish breakfast. He thinks back to when they first met, nearly 5 years ago at the ice machine outside room 7 at the Mirage Hotel. (To be continued)
      

fucking brilliant, thanks!!!  8)

Roger Bacon

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #23 on: September 07, 2012, 01:57:24 AM »


I assume Kahn.N.Singh is going to award you with our highest honor for this one, very good!

Extremely hilarious and enjoyable to read!  ;D

TrueGrit

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Re: Lets do a thread in which we make up short bodybuilding/gym related stories!
« Reply #24 on: September 07, 2012, 03:02:33 AM »
Alas, it is not my work...
O