Have you left a wife / got divorced? what to expect?

[steamboatwillie]

when you get divorced expect to be financially miserable

marriage can be good or bad i guess

divorce is always bad in the west

I honestly don't have much, and I would gladly give half of it to be out of this situation.

[monopoly19]

Get out before you have kids. If things are this bad now they are only going to get worse. If you think she wants all your time now think about how bad she will be if you have a baby. To top it off you'll have alimony if you divorce after the kid.

When I hear stories like this I feel blessed. Give half of what you have and move on.

[Tito24]

is poverty a choice?

[calfzilla]

She sounds horrible divorce her asap.

[Parker]

.

It is a short time and we did rush things.  I'm 30, she's 28...she wants kids right away....things were going well, we got married after dating for a year and a half.

You answered your own question in the first sentenced above.

[Irongrip400]

ultimate solution

Final Solution

[Tito24]

i once had a girlfriend who thought moby dick was a dissease

[lovemonkey]

i once had a girlfriend who thought moby dick was a dissease

hahaha what the hell?

[steamboatwillie]

If being big and strong is the only identity you have left, the. You were doomed from the start.
You sought out a effed up relationship, and now are miserable. You went to the alter with a woman who was going to make your life miserable, and you didn't even see it.
The gym ain't the only thing in this world. And one must be multifaceted in their identity---who are you? Ask yourself, who am I? If all you have is that one thing, then you are a one trick pony, so expect to get rode like one.

Not saying my life was perfect before, but I was content.  Sure, I should have finished college and dine a bunch of other stuff, but I have a decent job and was able to do the things I enjoyed.  What I'm saying is that her trying to keep me under lock and key is robbing me if who I am.  I'm a social butterfly, I need to fly from time to time.

[The True Adonis]

Have you left a wife / got divorced?  What to expect?

I have been married for 6 months and its miserable.  Definitely the worst decision of my life.  Our families are both very supportive, but we are just too different and we can't make it 2 days without having a total meltdown fight.  I have to get out before it gets any worse.  What's the best way to go about it, and what do I need to be on the look out for?

What exactly are you fighting about and what do you mean by you both are so different?

[hardgainerj]

Have you left a wife / got divorced?  What to expect?

I have been married for 6 months and its miserable.  Definitely the worst decision of my life.  Our families are both very supportive, but we are just too different and we can't make it 2 days without having a total meltdown fight.  I have to get out before it gets any worse.  What's the best way to go about it, and what do I need to be on the look out for?

you should have taken counseling prior to marriage

if she has ever told you that she no longer loves you consider the relationship over

[The True Adonis]

This is my situation exactly.  I do love her, buy I hate being married to her and everyday after working and working out I just get tensed up on my way home.  She has told me we're going to have these problems until I quit the gym and come straight home to do whatever she needs me to do.  Being big and strong is all the identity I have left....she always guilt trips me into not seeing my friends or family, I haven't watched a sporting event or gone out or anything on months.  If I'm not her personal slave she whines and cries about how I don't make her feel special.

How deep in this gym thing are you?  For starters, you do NOT have to eat a certain amount of meals a day, you do NOT have to train 5 days a week or even 4 to remain in top shape, you do NOT have to eat certain foods and limit yourself.

[hardgainerj]

lol @ 'fighting for the marriage' this is the real world not a chick flick

[hardgainerj]

the reality not everyone is competent for marriage much less a relationship consider this a life lesson

[irishdave]

You poor, poor kunt I genuinely feel sorry for you. The advice given above is pretty obvious, get out before the kids start coming or you'll be fucked altogether.

[Tito24]

[The True Adonis]

Our biggest issue is that I have a life outside of us and she doesn't.  She refuses to take care of herself or find a hobby or an activity where she can socialize.  She won't go out with our friends and won't let me without holding it over me for weeks.  She also wants a baby ASAP, and while I'm not against it, I'm not willing to have one now because our situation is so bad.  We have had sex 4 times in 2 months, and now she wants to threaten me by saying she's not going to give me any if I don't quit the gym.  Not that I care anymore, the times we do she just lays there.

1. Explain to her that the gym is tied to your health and your health should be considered the most important thing in your life, which it no doubt is.  Mentally and physically speaking.

2. It sounds to me she wants to have a baby for the sole reason that she may think it will force you under her control.  It seems that its the lack of control that she has issues with.  She wants more control over you than she currently has.  This is not fair.  Don`t have a baby for this reason (don`t have one for any reason in my opinion).  Ask her point blank what her intentions are.

3. Let her threaten.  Who cares. Just go about your business as usual.

[steamboatwillie]

I ALWAYS explain to every girl I meet that I am a bber! I eat six times a day and go to the gym 4-5 days a week. I only spend an hour at MOST at the gym though. No girl has EVER asked me to stop training. Ive been bbing since I was 15 so if they have an issue, PEACE.

I actually go train 4 days a week now instead of the 5 I went while we were dating.  That was my offer of a compromise when this issue came up.  This wasn't good enough for her and I can't do what I need to do in less.  Besides, it turns out that I gave that fifth workout up for what has become an extra hour and a half of argue time and tell me what a piece of shit I am time.  I don't ask her to cook anything weird or tell her we can't have anything, I just make the best of it.

[Tito24]

[The True Adonis]

I actually go train 4 days a week now instead of the 5 I went while we were dating.  That was my offer of a compromise when this issue came up.  This wasn't good enough for her and I can't do what I need to do in less.  Besides, it turns out that I gave that fifth workout up for what has become an extra hour and a half of argue time and tell me what a piece of shit I am time.  I don't ask her to cook anything weird or tell her we can't have anything, I just make the best of it.

Give an example of an argument and how it would go.

[R.A.M.]

Would it be possible to train in the morning when she is sleeping??? I had a similar situation on my hands a few months back.. She didn't tell me to quit training... but she wouldn't shut the fuck up after I came home from the gym in the p.m.. So as any devoted husband would, do i compromised. Marriage is 60/40... (to me anyway) and if she isn't following those rules... RUN!!!

[steamboatwillie]

For me the best approach is to avoid my wife if we are in a fight. I just go off and do my own thing - clean the car, mow the lawn. Anything. That is the most effective way. Women should not be able to make a man upset for too long. I know it happens, but you're the head of the family. And they respect you more when they see you couldn't care about a little fight and life still goes on.

Of course if you don't care about her then just get out of it.

I think the best solution for both of us is to end it.  I try to walk away, but she'll follow me.  I go in my room, she follows.  I lock the door, she stands outside the room screaming and throwing shit.  I go shower, she stands outside the shower screaming.  I can't have 10 minutes to myself.  She fusses because I take half an hour to shower and take my shot at night.  At times I wish she was a man so I could just beat the fuck out of her so she'd leave me alone for an hour.

[steamboatwillie]

I think you should change that to "I am a man whose hobby is is bbing". Because if you arenot making any money in a lifestyle that requires you to take drugs and pretty much kill your organs, then why do it?
All you'll end up as, is Ronnie Coleman without the Sandows---brokedown and chasing fat chicks, raw no pulling out.
[/quote

If its what makes you tick then its what you are.  It doesn't matter if you suck at it or make a living from it.  It makes me happy, and that's all that matters to me.  Shouldn't that be the same for anyone and whatever their Passion is?

[steamboatwillie]

Hurry up and move out before you have kids.  I'm looking at 10+ years under my belt and after kids, you realize you can't just get out.  Do it while you can and don't think it'll be different with a different woman.  Run bro.  

That's exactly my thinking...after this I couldn't imagine re-marrying.

[hardgainerj]

lol walking away is the physical manifestation of denial