Author Topic: The New Face of Infidelity  (Read 4278 times)

Parker

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The New Face of Infidelity
« on: October 19, 2012, 10:01:50 PM »
Can we believe the numbers? Although, I can believe what's going on.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443684104578062754288906608.html?mod=lifestyle_newsreel

Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to midcentury sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more—his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias—but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.

Lately, however, researchers have been raising doubts about this view: They believe that the incidence of unfaithfulness among wives may be approaching that of husbands. The lasting costs of these betrayals will be familiar to the many Americans who have experienced divorce as spouses or children.

23%
Men who reported being unfaithful in their marriages in a 2011 survey
.Among the most reliable studies on this issue is the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation, which has been asking Americans the same questions since 1972. In the 2010 survey, 19% of men said that they had been unfaithful at some point during their marriages, down from 21% in 1991. Women who reported having an affair increased from 11% in 1991 to 14% in 2010.

A 2011 study conducted by Indiana University, the Kinsey Institute and the University of Guelph found much less of a divide: 23% for men and 19% for women. Such numbers suggest the disappearance of the infidelity gender gap, but some caution is in order.

More from Review
The Saturday Essay: My 6,128 Favorite Books
Repelling Viruses, Reviving Mammoths
.An enduring problem for researchers—even those who sample with meticulous care—is that any such survey is asking for confessions from people who are presumably lying to their spouses. Researchers generally believe that actual infidelity numbers are higher than the results indicate.

It should also be emphasized that cheating in the U.S. isn't epidemic or inevitable, for either sex. Surveys consistently find that by far the majority of respondents value monogamy and think that infidelity is harmful. And if you believe the General Social Survey's finding that 14% of women are cheating, keep in mind that 86% aren't.

Still, even though survey accuracy is difficult to achieve and experts are by no means unanimous, it would appear that women are, indeed, catching up. In my own work as a psychologist and in my social circle, I see more women not only having affairs but actively seeking them out. Their reasons are familiar: validation of their attractiveness, emotional connection, appreciation, ego—not to mention the thrill of a shiny new relationship, unburdened by the long slog through the realities of coupledom.

19%
Women who reported being unfaithful in their marriages

Source: Archives of Sexual Behavior
.Researchers also point to other factors that might be leading women to stray more. One is what might be called "infidelity overload." Scan the plots on any given week in television, and there seems to be more extramarital sex than marital sex. (Few spouses stay put in "Mad Men.") With women portrayed as eager participants and aggressive instigators, there may be a feeling that infidelity has become more acceptable.

And then there is the opportunity factor—more travel, more late nights on the job and more interaction with men mean that the chances and temptations to stray have multiplied for the new generation of working women.

A 2011 study at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, published in the journal Psychological Science, argues that infidelity is also a function of greater economic and social power, which creates confidence and personal leverage for both genders. Women can now use their power in ways to which men have long been accustomed.

A broader cultural shift may also be at work. According to a Match.com study conducted earlier this year by the biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, women are becoming less traditional about relationships. Men, interestingly, may be going the other direction. In the survey, 77% of women in a committed relationship said they needed personal space, as opposed to 58% of men. While 35% of women wanted regular nights out with friends, only 23% of men said the same.

Social networks are another factor, if only by expanding the pool of possible partners. Emotional friendships that turn physical are the traditional point of entry for female affairs. It is now easy for those friendships to take root online. Some argue that social networks are merely an expediter and that cheaters will always find a way. Still, if you've never quite gotten over your prom date, today the chances are much better that you can find him.

Do women account for more of today's affairs? Probably. But in a society that has been preaching, legislating and celebrating gender equality for decades, equality in marital misdeeds might be expected too.


The_Hammer

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #1 on: October 19, 2012, 10:55:53 PM »
Has anyone seen the movie Seeking A Friend for the End of the Word?






It's a funny movie, but has an overwhelmingly powerful message:


Being with someone so you're not alone

Vs.

Being with someone whom you really love



I think that too often people are in relationships just so they're not alone, so you essentially end up wasting your life.

Coach is Back!

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #2 on: October 19, 2012, 11:00:55 PM »
Can we believe the numbers? Although, I can believe what's going on.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10000872396390443684104578062754288906608.html?mod=lifestyle_newsreel

Some 60 years ago, Alfred Kinsey delivered a shock to midcentury sexual sensibilities when he reported that at some point in their marriages, half of the men and a quarter of the women in the U.S. had an extramarital affair. No one puts much stock in Dr. Kinsey's high numbers any more—his sampling methods suffered from a raging case of selection bias—but his results fit the long-standing assumption that men are much more likely to cheat than women.

Lately, however, researchers have been raising doubts about this view: They believe that the incidence of unfaithfulness among wives may be approaching that of husbands. The lasting costs of these betrayals will be familiar to the many Americans who have experienced divorce as spouses or children.

23%
Men who reported being unfaithful in their marriages in a 2011 survey
.Among the most reliable studies on this issue is the General Social Survey, sponsored by the National Science Foundation, which has been asking Americans the same questions since 1972. In the 2010 survey, 19% of men said that they had been unfaithful at some point during their marriages, down from 21% in 1991. Women who reported having an affair increased from 11% in 1991 to 14% in 2010.

A 2011 study conducted by Indiana University, the Kinsey Institute and the University of Guelph found much less of a divide: 23% for men and 19% for women. Such numbers suggest the disappearance of the infidelity gender gap, but some caution is in order.

More from Review
The Saturday Essay: My 6,128 Favorite Books
Repelling Viruses, Reviving Mammoths
.An enduring problem for researchers—even those who sample with meticulous care—is that any such survey is asking for confessions from people who are presumably lying to their spouses. Researchers generally believe that actual infidelity numbers are higher than the results indicate.

It should also be emphasized that cheating in the U.S. isn't epidemic or inevitable, for either sex. Surveys consistently find that by far the majority of respondents value monogamy and think that infidelity is harmful. And if you believe the General Social Survey's finding that 14% of women are cheating, keep in mind that 86% aren't.

Still, even though survey accuracy is difficult to achieve and experts are by no means unanimous, it would appear that women are, indeed, catching up. In my own work as a psychologist and in my social circle, I see more women not only having affairs but actively seeking them out. Their reasons are familiar: validation of their attractiveness, emotional connection, appreciation, ego—not to mention the thrill of a shiny new relationship, unburdened by the long slog through the realities of coupledom.

19%
Women who reported being unfaithful in their marriages

Source: Archives of Sexual Behavior
.Researchers also point to other factors that might be leading women to stray more. One is what might be called "infidelity overload." Scan the plots on any given week in television, and there seems to be more extramarital sex than marital sex. (Few spouses stay put in "Mad Men.") With women portrayed as eager participants and aggressive instigators, there may be a feeling that infidelity has become more acceptable.

And then there is the opportunity factor—more travel, more late nights on the job and more interaction with men mean that the chances and temptations to stray have multiplied for the new generation of working women.

A 2011 study at Tilburg University in the Netherlands, published in the journal Psychological Science, argues that infidelity is also a function of greater economic and social power, which creates confidence and personal leverage for both genders. Women can now use their power in ways to which men have long been accustomed.

A broader cultural shift may also be at work. According to a Match.com study conducted earlier this year by the biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, women are becoming less traditional about relationships. Men, interestingly, may be going the other direction. In the survey, 77% of women in a committed relationship said they needed personal space, as opposed to 58% of men. While 35% of women wanted regular nights out with friends, only 23% of men said the same.

Social networks are another factor, if only by expanding the pool of possible partners. Emotional friendships that turn physical are the traditional point of entry for female affairs. It is now easy for those friendships to take root online. Some argue that social networks are merely an expediter and that cheaters will always find a way. Still, if you've never quite gotten over your prom date, today the chances are much better that you can find him.

Do women account for more of today's affairs? Probably. But in a society that has been preaching, legislating and celebrating gender equality for decades, equality in marital misdeeds might be expected too.



Cliff notes.....1/2 bottle of wine + melatonin In me, I ain't reading.all that!

Parker

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #3 on: October 19, 2012, 11:04:31 PM »
Cliff notes.....1/2 bottle of wine + melatonin In me, I ain't reading.all that!
bottom line, women are supposedly gaining on men when it comes to infidelity---those who admit to it, that is...In fact it seems that women encourage it...

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #4 on: October 19, 2012, 11:14:12 PM »
I guess times are changing. Might as well move to the mountains and live alone as a hermit.  :D :D
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abijahmaniaco

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #5 on: October 19, 2012, 11:46:40 PM »
interesting to note that, assuming the statistics are accurate, this means women have more sexual partners than men. (if a lower population of women cheat as to men, the women who are cheating are doing so with more sexual partners to compensate for the statistical difference)

GoneAway

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #6 on: October 19, 2012, 11:53:12 PM »
interesting to note that, assuming the statistics are accurate, this means women have more sexual partners than men. (if a lower population of women cheat as to men, the women who are cheating are doing so with more sexual partners to compensate for the statistical difference)

Attractive, unmarried women can have sex with whoever and whenever they like... and they do. It's very old school to think all women are librarians until they get married and then suddenly explode all over their husband. In their minds, a woman's role is basically to love (see: sexually satisfy) their man and nuture their children. They know this and that's why they cake themselves with makeup and wear practically nothing everyday - because their looks are (generally speaking) all they think that they can provide to a man.

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2012, 12:01:29 AM »
All the feminist movement has done is show that woman can be just as awful as men in every conceivable way.

Congratulations. ::)

Parker

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2012, 05:13:46 AM »
interesting to note that, assuming the statistics are accurate, this means women have more sexual partners than men. (if a lower population of women cheat as to men, the women who are cheating are doing so with more sexual partners to compensate for the statistical difference)
Of course today's single women have more sexually partners than men. But, then we have to get into what dictates cheating? Sexual intercourse, bjs, etc, or emotional cheating. And then, the population sample---who are they asking, where are they asking these questions.

Tito24

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2012, 05:30:21 AM »
women should have no voice

Palpatine Q

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2012, 07:04:59 AM »
Ha ha ..here we go again, the "lonely hearted woman hater club"

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2012, 07:15:49 AM »
Ha ha ..here we go again, the "lonely hearted woman hater club"

I wouldn't say this. Id say its more of an overall degradation of society when couples are cheating more and more.

To be honest, are you 100% sure your wife or gf never cheated on you? Probably not. Some people find out after 40 years of marriage that they have been cheated on. There is no way to know unless you can be with the person 24/7. So you may be one of the men who has been cheated on.
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garebear

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2012, 07:16:20 AM »
Ha ha ..here we go again, the "lonely hearted woman hater club"
;D
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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2012, 07:17:31 AM »
Has anyone seen the movie Seeking A Friend for the End of the Word?






It's a funny movie, but has an overwhelmingly powerful message:


Being with someone so you're not alone

Vs.

Being with someone whom you really love



I think that too often people are in relationships just so they're not alone, so you essentially end up wasting your life.

Being with someone so you are not alone is the absolute WORST decision you can possibly make in your life.  It will make you more miserable than you could ever imagine.


But being with someone who you are totally crazy about is a feeling that is completely unmatched and really brings something special to your life.  (no homo)

Palpatine Q

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2012, 07:24:49 AM »
I wouldn't say this. Id say its more of an overall degradation of society when couples are cheating more and more.

To be honest, are you 100% sure your wife or gf never cheated on you? Probably not. Some people find out after 40 years of marriage that they have been cheated on. There is no way to know unless you can be with the person 24/7. So you may be one of the men who has been cheated on.

Yup, 1000%    sure.


GoneAway

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #15 on: October 20, 2012, 07:25:06 AM »
Being in love with yourself is the first step.

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #16 on: October 20, 2012, 07:28:18 AM »
Yup, 1000%    sure.



haha, okay. How are you so sure? Sorry, but just because you have big muscles, it doesn't mean your wife or gf won't cheat on you. Sorry to burst your bubble.
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Palpatine Q

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #17 on: October 20, 2012, 07:37:19 AM »
haha, okay. How are you so sure? Sorry, but just because you have big muscles, it doesn't mean your wife or gf won't cheat on you. Sorry to burst your bubble.

Yes, I'm sure she is fucKing everyone in sight because you say so , and I can "never be sure"....I can never be sure I won't die in a house fIre either, but I'm pretty sure it won't happen  ;)

Here's a thought, ......some of us have good relationships, and we don't come on Getbig and whine like teenage girls about what "whores" women are.

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #18 on: October 20, 2012, 07:41:11 AM »
Yes, I'm sure she is fucKing everyone in sight because you say so , and I can "never be sure"....I can never be sure I won't die in a house fIre either, but I'm pretty sure it won't happen  ;)

Here's a thought, ......some of us have good relationships, and we don't come on Getbig and whine like teenage girls about what "whores" women are.


It's not because I say so. Its just based on reality and the probability that she may have cheated on you. I never said she definitely did. I said that one can never know for sure.

I don't think women are whores at all. In fact, I never insinuated that. I actually said that the degradation of society is that couples, men and women, cheat. Its not exclusively a women thing.

Yes, there have been many people who have had good relationships, or thought they had good relationships and were still cheated on. Unfortunately, you just never know. I guess that is where trust comes into the relationship.
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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #19 on: October 20, 2012, 07:41:35 AM »
Yes, I'm sure she is fucKing everyone in sight because you say so , and I can "never be sure"....I can never be sure I won't die in a house fIre either, but I'm pretty sure it won't happen  ;)

Here's a thought, ......some of us have good relationships, and we don't come on Getbig and whine like teenage girls about what "whores" women are.


This!

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #20 on: October 20, 2012, 07:42:25 AM »
This!

Oh, please. Your lady slept with the first guy that wasn't all nose  ;D ;D jk
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lovemonkey

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #21 on: October 20, 2012, 07:53:52 AM »
god, this whole "Groink in a perfect relationship" vs so called "desperate losers" is getting so fucking old. No one gives a shit.
from incomplete data

THEBOSS

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #22 on: October 20, 2012, 08:00:01 AM »
 8)  No change at all . Its simply being exposed . Hope this helps .

Palpatine Q

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #23 on: October 20, 2012, 09:30:32 AM »
god, this whole "Groink in a perfect relationship" vs so called "desperate losers" is getting so fucking old. No one gives a shit.

SF 1900 implies that my GF has cheated on me, I defend it...and what you take away from it is I'm "bragging"    ::)

SF1900

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Re: The New Face of Infidelity
« Reply #24 on: October 20, 2012, 09:36:27 AM »
SF 1900 implies that my GF has cheated on me, I defend it...and what you take away from it is I'm "bragging"    ::)

I didn't imply that she cheated on you. I said you never know if she has or has not. I just said you could never be so sure. It could go either way, really.
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