This is not a code. If you do not like your circumstance (cost of living, physique, etc.) then change it. Life is very much about choice and consequence. I am amazed by the number of people in life who assert that things "just happen" to them and act as if they have no choice in how they respond. If you want more education go get it... if you want a new job go compete for it... if you want to live in a less expensive part of the country move... If you think it's too difficult or it cannot be done tell that to the immigrant who left family, friends, and everything they knew to come to America with nothing more than the clothes on their back (often not even speaking English) who built a life for themselves and their children in the US. How are they able to do this when the naysayer cannot?
I am pleased to have been the launching pad for your post.
Of course we should be in command of our own lives, I completely agree. To complain about something and then do nothing to change it, is unfortunately pretty common, I suspect. There are some folks though, like the immigrants you speak of, who risk everything including their lives to make a change for the better. There are also folk who almost never change and who believe that everything bad that happens to them is an accident and therefore out of there control. This is a sad lifestyle for many people, who for reasons I don't understand completely, would rather live unhappy lives than change them.
I don't have any desire to live in New York City, but if I did, I'd expect to pay a lot for a fairly small space. If I wanted to do that, I probably move to Paris instead. In as much as I am uncomfortable in large crowds, I doubt I will ever chose to move somewhere where the population is as dense as it in these cities. Heck, I won't even go Christmas shopping at a mall because being enclosed with all those people makes me extremely anxious.