Savage faux wood pannelling.
Ghastly $5 TJX/Marshall's mirror bought at 40% off the regular suggested retail price
Arms held above shoulders to mask lack of biceps peak, soon to be rectified with a subscription to Manfred Hoberl's "arms in 10 minutes" - replete with bottle of Pump N Pose and 23 gauge 1.5" pin "for beginners/phase one"
Brutal ballcap picked up at the local BP station in the outskirts of Boise to cover bald spot, to be used whilst trolling for drunk college co-eds after the Cornhuskers were in town. The very same BP station where his 1986 Ford Tempo broke down and left him stranded.
Furious "come at me bro" stare in the mirror in case his face shows on getbig. Just so folks know this is a Tap-out'er and not to be f'd with on any day, at any time.