How does one improve his own confidence?

[diamondcut]

being confident is important especially for a man


if you have feelings of insecurity how do you get rid of these feelings. if one is critical of oneself, how is that man ever able to become a confident human being if he is constantly feeling inadequate in his own mind?


how do you become a more confident man, to change yourself mentally without changing anything else?


how are losers able to appear confident? do they not think they are losers? do they try to "forget" what it is that makes them inferior?

[diamondcut]

For example, take an imaginary man who is 30 years old,

balding,

short in stature,

poor at interpersonal communication (relatively),

poor posture,

does not make a lot of money,

career is dead-end and not well educated,

is not widely considered as attractive,

is not particularly physically fit or in shape,

but for some reason or another,

this guy is brimming with confidence

you ask the ladies he sleeps with what is so attractive about this man and she will tell you "he is confident"

you talk to him and he just appears to not give a fuck about most things

you give him a task and he will believe he can do it, which is actually impossible for him to do and you know it,



how in the fuck?

[Jadeveon Clowney]

red bull

[diamondcut]

alcohol?



no but srsly, my mind is fulll of fuck

[James28]

Do what I do. When I do presentations to people twice my age, more years of experience than I have years on Earth and job titles that frequently include the words 'vice president' or 'chief' I take time to look them all in the eye. I look them over and see shortcomings. Bald, fat, lazy eyes, short. I remind myself that if I wanted to, I could kill everyone in the room with my bare hands and that they're only alive because I allow them to.

Crazy shit like that does help breaking people down into small, manageable parts. This goes for the hot girl to the CEO. They're just people.

[manuelsonn]

For example, take an imaginary man who is 30 years old,

balding,

short in stature,

poor at interpersonal communication (relatively),

poor posture,

does not make a lot of money,

career is dead-end and not well educated,

is not widely considered as attractive,

is not particularly physically fit or in shape,

but for some reason or another,

this guy is brimming with confidence

you ask the ladies he sleeps with what is so attractive about this man and she will tell you "he is confident"

you talk to him and he just appears to not give a fuck about most things

you give him a task and he will believe he can do it, which is actually impossible for him to do and you know it,



how in the fuck?

maybe he has a big cock. verify that and come back to tell us

[cephissus]

Do what I do. When I do presentations to people twice my age, more years of experience than I have years on Earth and job titles that frequently include the words 'vice president' or 'chief' I take time to look them all in the eye. I look them over and see shortcomings. Bald, fat, lazy eyes, short. I remind myself that if I wanted to, I could kill everyone in the room with my bare hands and that they're only alive because I allow them to.

Crazy shit like that does help breaking people down into small, manageable parts. This goes for the hot girl to the CEO. They're just people.

you have just been promoted to tier 1 poster in my mind

[diamondcut]

maybe he has a big cock. verify that and come back to tell us

would you be willing to put your money on a guy who is 5'3 and isn't black, having a big cock?

i wouldn't

[Mjolnir]

Confidence comes from loving yourself and liking who you are, master that and you will have confidence.  I am confident but it only came after I accepted who I am both the parts of me that I like and the parts of me that need improvement. Love and acceptance my friend.

[diamondcut]

Do what I do. When I do presentations to people twice my age, more years of experience than I have years on Earth and job titles that frequently include the words 'vice president' or 'chief' I take time to look them all in the eye. I look them over and see shortcomings. Bald, fat, lazy eyes, short. I remind myself that if I wanted to, I could kill everyone in the room with my bare hands and that they're only alive because I allow them to.

Crazy shit like that does help breaking people down into small, manageable parts. This goes for the hot girl to the CEO. They're just people.

that is a great way to think. problem is, it is kind of a pseudo way of thinking.

rather than thinking about your own flaws, you think about flaws in others

i can see it working but i can see it not really holding water in particular situations

i don't feel that really establishes that rock-solid confidence. instead, it creates the ability for yourself to do the things you need to do without having stage fright or something similar

[RustyTrenbolona]

the sperm u are  beat out billions of other sperm to be born.

we are all as relevant as a snowflake, time will wash all of us into less than dust.

time spent on earth surrounded by billions of years of travel at speed of light is emptiness etc enjoy the day pal it will end for us all

u cant win if u dont try and if u dont try, regardless of the outcome, u fail...

and remember to log into getbig daily

[Army of One]

I remind myself that if I wanted to, I could kill everyone in the room with my bare hands and that they're only alive because I allow them to.

If there is a zombie apocalypse Im calling you first, that mutant tapout strength would be formidable

[diamondcut]

take this possibly real-life scenario:



you are a young man in an upscale bar with very many attractive and beautiful people who seem to all be in fairly high status of society and make good money (both men and women)

you are alone that night but you are well dressed and well conversed man. you feel confident in your abilities but you realize that you are always a work in progress.

there is a beautiful woman sitting alone at a bar not too far away from you. you have been secretly observing this woman throughout the night being hit on by men who seem confident and are more well dressed and more attractive than you are. but they are being turned down. by every stretch of what can be determined by the naked eye, these men are most likely a better man than you are (rock solid looks and more attractive and taller than you are, confidence portrayed by attitude and posture and conversation, has money displayed by fancy watch, fancy armani suit, buying her expensive drinks etc which shows he may have more money than you etc)

what is it in you that gives you the "confidence" to go up to this woman, despite your shortcomings compared to these men, to believe that you have an even better chance in landing this chick than every man before you that evening?


instead of hoping on banking on some miracle that she has some fetish for a guy who has a mole 1.0234 inches from his left eye and has a thing for guys who has a right eye slightly larger than his left and a slightly crooked jaw which just so happens that you have

[RustyTrenbolona]

Do what I do. When I do presentations to people twice my age, more years of experience than I have years on Earth and job titles that frequently include the words 'vice president' or 'chief' I take time to look them all in the eye. I look them over and see shortcomings. Bald, fat, lazy eyes, short. I remind myself that if I wanted to, I could kill everyone in the room with my bare hands and that they're only alive because I allow them to.

Crazy shit like that does help breaking people down into small, manageable parts. This goes for the hot girl to the CEO. They're just people.

this is not true confidence. this is pseudo ego left brain convincing urself of something that may or may not be true. how will ur ego shatter at the arrival of one u deem to be physically superior? what happens when one day ur ego changes and u no longer deem the ability to kill those around u important...or when time erodes ur looks and u too are balding and brittle?

[RustyTrenbolona]

take this possibly real-life scenario:



you are a young man in an upscale bar with very many attractive and beautiful people who seem to all be in fairly high status of society and make good money (both men and women)

you are alone that night but you are well dressed and well conversed man. you feel confident in your abilities but you realize that you are always a work in progress.

there is a beautiful woman sitting alone at a bar not too far away from you. you have been secretly observing this woman throughout the night being hit on by men who seem confident and are more well dressed and more attractive than you are. but they are being turned down. by every stretch of what can be determined by the naked eye, these men are most likely a better man than you are (rock solid looks and more attractive and taller than you are, confidence portrayed by attitude and posture and conversation, has money displayed by fancy watch, fancy armani suit, buying her expensive drinks etc which shows he may have more money than you etc)

what is it in you that gives you the "confidence" to go up to this woman, despite your shortcomings compared to these men, to believe that you have an even better chance in landing this chick than every man before you that evening?


instead of hoping on banking on some miracle that she has some fetish for a guy who has a mole 1.0234 inches from his left eye and has a thing for guys who has a right eye slightly larger than his left and a slightly crooked jaw which just so happens that you have

u are  making assumptions based on what u think  she wants. most likely indoctrinated into ur mind by the media. dont be so materialistic. charm will always win over money. and if ur type of charm isnt working on her u will find another. dont self hate for not having all the right tools in your box at all times

[diamondcut]

this is not true confidence. this is pseudo ego left brain convincing urself of something that may or may not be true. how will ur ego shatter at the arrival of one u deem to be physically superior? what happens when one day ur ego changes and u no longer deem the ability to kill those around u important...or when time erodes ur looks and u too are balding and brittle?

see, i am having trouble establishing what is true confidence?


all i can say for certain is that i am one cocky, stubborn, prideful asshole


every girl that i have ever been close with has considered my a cocky person, a lot of them have also called me an asshole (mostly playfully)


but previous to that i have been more on the reserved side which some people may have been seen as unconfident and lacking self confidence or passive or pushover


in my mind i would rather be the cocky confident asshole than some unconfident flappy wimp



is any man who is confident, not at least slightly cocky?


i am having trouble finding a balance


but i have been told a balance exists


in my mind and my experience, every man who i have seen to be confident is one cocky guy


everyone who wasn't was some depressed flaccid dick who seemed very lacking in self confidence

[cephissus]

i'm sorry, it's not a conscious choice

give up

[manuelsonn]

u are  making assumptions based on what u think  she wants. most likely indoctrinated into ur mind by the media. dont be so materialistic. charm will always win over money. and if ur type of charm isnt working on her u will find another. dont self hate for not having all the right tools in your box at all times

rofl

[James28]

this is not true confidence. this is pseudo ego left brain convincing urself of something that may or may not be true. how will ur ego shatter at the arrival of one u deem to be physically superior? what happens when one day ur ego changes and u no longer deem the ability to kill those around u important...or when time erodes ur looks and u too are balding and brittle?

 No I agree with you. It does help as a short term fix.

[dj181]

you just gotta hope and pray that you are her type man

if yes, then it's all good and everything will kick into place

[RustyTrenbolona]

as long as you do no revolt others with ur cockness or wound the feelings of other by displaying your cockness i.e. trumping theirs purposely...then cockness is can be fine

as a rule, confidence is loving oneself even with all ones shortcomings...when others (those who you truly want in your life, those who understand as u do) sense your genuine self love and acceptance, consciously or un, they will gravitate toward you.

and not, im awesome cause i have threads and whips and money and temporary  subjective good  looks. all those thing while nice for moments, are merely trinkets in our journey patching what we need to learn on our way. they distract from the lessons we actually should be learning as naked humble water contained in semi permeable membrane floating around the universe for no reason at all

[lm]

In my opinion you can't fake confidence. Become someone who you are proud of and everything else will fall in place on it's own. No extra effort "to be confident" is needed.

[RustyTrenbolona]

rofl

sure not around gold diggers and prostitutes on the clock... but perhaps even on their day off

[diamondcut]

you just gotta hope and pray that you are her type man

if yes, then it's all good and everything will kick into place

how is hoping and praying any form of confidence?

i would assume that thinking like a "hoper" and a "prayer" does not convey confidence

in my mind, a confident man truly believes he can get whatever he wants

[Kwon_2]

Do things you hate doing and or are afraid of doing / or is insecure at doing.

Do those things often and it will toughen your mental prowess.

After a while you will be comfortable in doing those things.




When all else fails, a deep-tissue massage on Tbombz at the Icemachine (the mirage of course) will be your final solution.