Author Topic: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection  (Read 10189 times)

Primemuscle

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Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« on: December 24, 2012, 02:47:22 PM »
Quote
Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
Sep. 05, 2012

Canadian singer and tween heartthrob Justin Bieber is recovering at a Los Angeles area hospital today after being transported by ambulance from his Beverly Hills home.

Initial reports indicate that the 18 year old megastar was incapacitated by a panic attack following the shock of having his first erection.

A call to 911 from the Bieber residence was placed at 10:37pm PST yesterday evening.

The Daily Currant has gained exclusive access to the 911 tapes, reprinted here for your enjoyment:

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Justin Bieber: Hello? Hello? Yes my name is Justin. I live at  41 ------ Drive.

911: Okay Justin and do you have an emergency?

Justin Bieber: Yes. I think...I think my penis might be having a heart attack or something.

911 Operator: Excuse me?

Justin Bieber:  Well its really big. Like really big. And I can feel my pulse beating inside of it. I don't know what's going on. Please help.

911. Okay Jusin. Help is on the way. Can you tell me more about how this happened?

Justin Bieber: Well I was watching The Notebook, you know the movie? And I started thinking about Rachel McAdams. And I started thinking about how I wanted to touch her. Like touch her in a bad way, you know what I mean?

911: Okay...

Justien Bieber: And well. I dunno what happened. It just started growing and growing. And now its bigger than I've ever seen it before. Do you think maybe this is cancer? Is this what Lance Armstrong had?

911: You think you have an emergency case of testicular cancer?

Justin Bieber: Maybe. I dunno. It just feels really really uncomfortable.

911: Okay Justin how long ago did this start?

Justin Bieber: Uh...well about 5 minutes ago.

911: Okay so its only been five minutes?

Justin Bieber: Yeah.

911: And is there any pain?

Justin Bieber: No it just feels weird. Like its made of cardboard or something.

911: Okay Justin it sounds to me like what you're experiencing is called an erection. If there is no pain and only lasts 5 minutes, it is perfectly normal for someone your age. But we've dispatched paramedics just in case, because very rarely a sustained erection can be a sign of something more serious.

Justin Bieber: Okay thank you. Can you? Can you stay with me until the medical people arrive. I'm scared.

911: Sure.

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2012, 03:34:15 PM »
lmao source of story plz

Primemuscle

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a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #3 on: December 25, 2012, 10:19:03 AM »
so its a parody site like onion news lol

funk51

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #4 on: December 26, 2012, 02:10:50 PM »

was only a matter of time before the bieberman fell victim to this malady.

trapz101

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #5 on: December 26, 2012, 05:30:02 PM »
any news of him having his first ejaculation ever?
T

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2012, 08:04:38 PM »
LOL, you guys are so mean, ...you must be drinking Haterade.
Rip on little Justin all you want, ...but you know what, ...he STILL drives a cooler car than you, ...he STILL makes more money  than you, ...and  he probably gets more action that all y'all put together. lol. ...and that's gotta just hurt. lol.
w

Primemuscle

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2012, 11:08:37 PM »
LOL, you guys are so mean, ...you must be drinking Haterade.
Rip on little Justin all you want, ...but you know what, ...he STILL drives a cooler car than you, ...he STILL makes more money  than you, ...and  he probably gets more action that all y'all put together. lol. ...and that's gotta just hurt. lol.

You seem to be taking this far too seriously. Even Bieber would probably think this fake news story was funny.

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2012, 10:48:08 AM »
headlines from the examiner perhaps?

24KT

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #9 on: January 03, 2013, 10:28:34 PM »
You seem to be taking this far too seriously. Even Bieber would probably think this fake news story was funny.

Not taking it seriously at all. I thought it was funny. Didn't you see the "LOL"? I think it's even funnier that it is mostly guys who love to rip on Justin, ...and it probably drives them nuts to know that he drives cooler cars, has more money, got jiggy with Selena Gomez and can pull more tail than any of them. The irony of that is the funniest part to me.
w

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #10 on: January 03, 2013, 10:34:46 PM »
Cars are nice and all but he's an unmanly twig seriously:



The likes of him and his kind are why I CANT get jeans/pants... Frickin skinny legs *()@#*@$# 'fashion'. I have to get humangous pants/jeans then have them custom modified to make the waist smaller...

Primemuscle

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #11 on: January 03, 2013, 11:36:17 PM »
Cars are nice and all but he's an unmanly twig seriously:

The likes of him and his kind are why I CANT get jeans/pants... Frickin skinny legs *()@#*@$# 'fashion'. I have to get humangous pants/jeans then have them custom modified to make the waist smaller...



Try Lucky brand jeans. They have jeans cut to fit a more mature or muscular body. They are available at Nordstrom's, Costco and at Lucky brand stores. Costco only carries the classic cut. They are generously cut in the hips and legs. If you can find a Luck store they will have the broadest selection, but they are also much more expensive there. A friend paid around $100. If I remember correctly, they are about $30 at Costco.

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2013, 11:39:50 PM »
Wranglers...

24KT

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #13 on: January 04, 2013, 03:04:17 AM »
Cars are nice and all but he's an unmanly twig seriously:



The likes of him and his kind are why I CANT get jeans/pants... Frickin skinny legs *()@#*@$# 'fashion'. I have to get humangous pants/jeans then have them custom modified to make the waist smaller...

Is it Justin's fault that you have a huge fat butt and have a figure like a woman's? (wide hips / small waist)  :P  No it's not, ...so stop hating on the little sweetie.  ;)  ;D
w

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2013, 01:51:34 PM »
Stop fantasizing about my ass and legs. I'm married. Stick to your bieber half boy half child thingamajig. LoL! Sweetie why dontcha go marry him  ;D

I actually have my jeans modified to make the waist smaller...It works... but it would be nice for once to walk in a store and find jeans with leggings that are large with a small waist...

Actually felt real good a week ago when some dude was like "yeah I have a buddy who lifts weights and he has the same issue as you" I'm like yeeee buddaaay better recognize lol. I must have tried every jeans in the store and nothing fit... Unless I went for some 38" waist pants which I wouldn't be able to even get modified down enough too huge...

Primemuscle that could be promising! Only one way is to try them still thinking may be a little bit slim but looks a LOT more NORMAL than the skinny crap sold now a days. I am in Canada.. I don't have a costco card.. are you in Canada or you're speaking from the US?

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #15 on: January 04, 2013, 02:48:26 PM »
wtf:

http://www.luckybrand.com/Slim/mensSlim,default,sc.html

16-17" leg opening?!?!?!? who the hell has such small legs for crying out loud!

http://www.luckybrand.com/Straight/mensStraight,default,sc.html

straight are 17.5-19.5" still skinny legs...

http://www.luckybrand.com/Tapered/mensTapered,default,sc.html

tappered 18"...

http://www.luckybrand.com/Bootcut/mensBootcut,default,sc.html

bootcut which looks nice but is 18-21"... damn it...

BUT... I did some googling and on some BB forums guys with 25"+ legs say their legs fit soo.. maybe they are not listing all their models...

Well I'll be trying to find lucky brand locally and see how it fits

Primemuscle

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #16 on: January 04, 2013, 04:08:53 PM »
wtf:

http://www.luckybrand.com/Slim/mensSlim,default,sc.html

16-17" leg opening?!?!?!? who the hell has such small legs for crying out loud!

http://www.luckybrand.com/Straight/mensStraight,default,sc.html

straight are 17.5-19.5" still skinny legs...

http://www.luckybrand.com/Tapered/mensTapered,default,sc.html

tappered 18"...

http://www.luckybrand.com/Bootcut/mensBootcut,default,sc.html

bootcut which looks nice but is 18-21"... damn it...

BUT... I did some googling and on some BB forums guys with 25"+ legs say their legs fit soo.. maybe they are not listing all their models...

Well I'll be trying to find lucky brand locally and see how it fits

The leg opening is at the bottom of the leg, not the top. Unless you have clown feet, you should be able to get your feet through a 17.5 leg opening. I am wearing Lucky Brand jeans Classic style right now. I have 26" thighs. These jeans fit with room to spare.

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #17 on: January 04, 2013, 04:11:30 PM »
Ah... I was thinking that was the leg size not the leg opening where feet go through lol.. okay that makes sense.

Primemuscle

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #18 on: January 04, 2013, 04:18:17 PM »
Ah... I was thinking that was the leg size not the leg opening where feet go through lol.. okay that makes sense.

Right. So the thigh measurement will change with the waist size. The larger your waist measurement the looser they will be in the thighs. Someone suggested Wranglers. Wranglers are generally tight through the butt and thigh area. They look best on slim muscular fellows.

Personally, I cannot stand wearing tight clothing. It is just uncomfortable to me. When I try on slacks or jeans, I always sit down in them to see how they feel. You'd be surprised how a pair of pants can feel comfortable standing and then really bind when you sit. Denim does stretch some as you wear it.

a_ahmed

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #19 on: January 04, 2013, 04:48:37 PM »
Ya same here I always try to sit down and see how they feel too, only real way to find out if they are a comfortable fit. i don't like tight clothing either.

doison

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2013, 05:42:30 PM »
Marfan's
Y

WOOO

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #21 on: January 05, 2013, 06:38:28 AM »
funny read

Primemuscle

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Re: Justin Bieber Rushed to Hospital Following First Erection
« Reply #22 on: January 05, 2013, 11:56:38 PM »
Ya same here I always try to sit down and see how they feel too, only real way to find out if they are a comfortable fit. i don't like tight clothing either.

Could this be symptomatic of getting old. I remember in the old days buying 501 Levi's shrink to fit so they fit before being washed. We'd shrink them by putting them on new then getting in a tub of the hottest water we could stand and then wearing them until they were dry. They'd be like a second skin. Since all that blue dye would seep out onto our skin when we finally took them off our skin had a distinctive blueish cast for a couple of days.

These days I wear my jeans so baggy that I could invite a friend to wear them with me at the same time....now that would be interesting!