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Author Topic: what is your philosophy on the balance between stinginess/frugality  (Read 703 times)
anabolichalo
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« on: December 27, 2012, 01:25:55 PM »

to me being stingy gives me peace of mind, it's comforting

my girl friend tho does not seem to understand

how can i make her understand

that being tight is right

because she used to be extremely poor she thinks happiness comes from buying yourself material things

it's odd that she does not seem to fear poverty by spending

i fear poverty every second of my life


and therefor try to be as stingy as i can reasonably be without impairing quality of life
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mass243
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« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2012, 01:41:29 PM »


It's not in female genetics to be careful with money.
Probably because for thousands of years, they have never been the ones responsible for putting the bread in the table. It has always been men's job.

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« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2012, 01:47:22 PM »

Women are generally fucking useless with money.
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MichaelScottDM
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« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2012, 01:49:01 PM »

Women are generally fucking useless with money.

This!! Had an ex spend at least $300 a month a target on useless shit. But would complain about not having enough $ to buy necessities. Dumb bit*h
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snx
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« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2012, 01:55:15 PM »

to me being stingy gives me peace of mind, it's comforting

my girl friend tho does not seem to understand

how can i make her understand

that being tight is right

because she used to be extremely poor she thinks happiness comes from buying yourself material things

it's odd that she does not seem to fear poverty by spending

i fear poverty every second of my life


and therefor try to be as stingy as i can reasonably be without impairing quality of life


You're wise to do so. A jedi craves not these material things.

As to your woman, it's in her nature. She will never change, or, more aptly, will be loathe to change her ways. She will capitulate to a certain degree if she loves you, but her desire for the comforts of material goods will fester below the surface and rise to the surface in the form of nagging and needling you about your spend-thrift ways.

Honestly, if that pisses you off, find a new girl. That will never go away. And I'm not blaming women...lots of guys spend like it's going out of style too. You are either raised from birth to value thriftiness, or you're not. You can't change that...it gets hard-wired and is extremely difficult to break.

If you insist on sticking it out, you'll get into lots of fights and arguments, you'll resort to hiding money to keep it away from her (which she'll find, and which she'll use to accuse you of mistrusting her and even go so far as to insinuate that you use the hidden money for trysts), and you'll generally spend the relationship looking over the proverbial financial shoulder.

Find a girl who is thrifty; one who is pretty, but not full of herself; one who is secure in herself, but willing to do whatever it takes to keep you happy because she knows relationships need work to remain secure; one who works hard at her career and makes good money doing so; one who is kind to you, but not so kind she hands the pair's material possessions to every panhandler on the street; one with a mom that looks great even at age 55 (it's all about genetics); one who studied business in university (scientists come and go and aren't always paid their worth, as are artists...the world always needs people who know how money is made and grown and will pay for knowledge herein); one who can cook, or at least knows how to make the foods you like; one who doesn't mind cleaning, but is also smart enough to know she makes enough money to pay someone else to clean when she needs to; one who fawns over children and would devote herself to them if she had them with you, but isn't hell-bent on justifying her existence by popping out kids for the sole purpose of reproduction; one who will submit to your ever whim in the bedroom, but isn't afraid to make a few demands of her own; one who will not give all your money to her next husband when you die early from shooting too much trenbolona, but is ok with you doing as much trenbolona as you need to, to stay happy; one who enjoys watching the NFL; one who enjoys the fact that you life weights, but has her head on straight enough to remind you that bodybuilding is pretty gay; one who knows the difference between an exchange traded fund and an index fund, and can speak on this; one who views the house as an investment first and foremost; one who has eyes only for you and is disease free; one who reads getbig, and finds me to be pretty funny and insightful.  
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anabolichalo
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« Reply #5 on: December 27, 2012, 02:06:04 PM »

she's the church going religious type, i wonder if i can change her from a religion angle

like, i try to make her sister's husband (a pastor) brain wash them on the perils of frivolous spending

i talked to him once about nothing in particular and he seems to be prudent with money but not stingy


also her mom often gets upset when she finds out her children spend money irresponsibly. she lives in some rural african village tho and i could not communicate with her the times i saw her because of language barriers

that woman squeezes the pennies tho, she would negotiate about currency rates to the point where she pretty much scammed the exchange man in the street
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« Reply #6 on: December 27, 2012, 03:22:16 PM »

There have been moments when I just say:

 "I live now, who knows what could happen in the future? I can do it now. I have the cash, so I should take this chance when I see it or else it will be too late, go travelling across the world, have a crazy adventure, awesome memories and then when I come back I can recover the rest of the money and carry on..."
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calfzilla
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« Reply #7 on: December 27, 2012, 08:51:58 PM »

Read "the millionaire next door".


...no it's not about Wong Hong.  Cheesy
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Roger Bacon
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« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2012, 01:01:10 AM »

to me being stingy gives me peace of mind, it's comforting

my girl friend tho does not seem to understand

how can i make her understand

that being tight is right

because she used to be extremely poor she thinks happiness comes from buying yourself material things

it's odd that she does not seem to fear poverty by spending

i fear poverty every second of my life


and therefor try to be as stingy as i can reasonably be without impairing quality of life


Live poor, be rich
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phreak
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« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2012, 02:23:01 AM »

my girl friend tho does not seem to understand

how can i make her understand

that being tight is right
Truer words have never been spoken. Grin

In all seriousness: Just keep confronting her with past materialistic choices. If she wants to buy something because she is unhappy, then ask her: "Last time you were unhappy you bought xyz. That didn't fix it. Before that you bought abc. That also didn't help. When will buying something actually help for a change?". This worked well on my wife, who is now even more stingy than me.

Also, refocussing helps. Being frugal shouldn't be a chore or necessity, it should be a competition. Humans love achieving things. It's easier to get close to spending as little as possible (from average expenses to zero) than it is to get close to spending all of the money (from average to Saudi oil prince level). And lead on this by example. E.g. I don't worry about the utilities bill per se, but for me it's a competition to get the bill as low as possible while maintaining an identical standard of comfort. Done the obvious things, such as insulating the house, now I'm down to stupid levels, such as changing out the second PC for a mobile dev platform which consumes 10-12 W less (14.5W laptop -> 5W Odroid X2). Not useful any more, but fun, and sets a good example.

Third prong of the attack: Show her examples of people with money management problems, i.e. nuggers. Make it clear to her that any monkey can waste money. It takes skill to not waste it.
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anabolichalo
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« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2012, 02:30:45 AM »

Truer words have never been spoken. Grin

In all seriousness: Just keep confronting her with past materialistic choices. If she wants to buy something because she is unhappy, then ask her: "Last time you were unhappy you bought xyz. That didn't fix it. Before that you bought abc. That also didn't help. When will buying something actually help for a change?". This worked well on my wife, who is now even more stingy than me.

Also, refocussing helps. Being frugal shouldn't be a chore or necessity, it should be a competition. Humans love achieving things. It's easier to get close to spending as little as possible (from average expenses to zero) than it is to get close to spending all of the money (from average to Saudi oil prince level). And lead on this by example. E.g. I don't worry about the utilities bill per se, but for me it's a competition to get the bill as low as possible while maintaining an identical standard of comfort. Done the obvious things, such as insulating the house, now I'm down to stupid levels, such as changing out the second PC for a mobile dev platform which consumes 10-12 W less (14.5W laptop -> 5W Odroid X2). Not useful any more, but fun, and sets a good example.

Third prong of the attack: Show her examples of people with money management problems, i.e. nuggers. Make it clear to her that any monkey can waste money. It takes skill to not waste it.
maybe i will make a powerpoint presentation about it and give a lecture about it in church?

perhaps then everyone of people who influence her would agree with me
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Parker
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« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2012, 02:52:01 AM »

to me being stingy gives me peace of mind, it's comforting

my girl friend tho does not seem to understand

how can i make her understand

that being tight is right

because she used to be extremely poor she thinks happiness comes from buying yourself material things

it's odd that she does not seem to fear poverty by spending

i fear poverty every second of my life


and therefor try to be as stingy as i can reasonably be without impairing quality of life

well, maybe if you weren't dating a African chick who used to sell her ass to put food on the table, and date someone who would share your same values, maybe you could find balance.
But, you enjoy the ego boost of being with a ex-hooker that is dependent on you.
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phreak
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« Reply #12 on: December 28, 2012, 03:03:26 AM »

maybe i will make a powerpoint presentation about it and give a lecture about it in church?

perhaps then everyone of people who influence her would agree with me
Then again: the clergy are takers, so in general a bad influence.
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anabolichalo
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« Reply #13 on: December 28, 2012, 04:31:46 AM »

well, maybe if you weren't dating a African chick who used to sell her ass to put food on the table, and date someone who would share your same values, maybe you could find balance.
But, you enjoy the ego boost of being with a ex-hooker that is dependent on you.
she never admitted to being a prostitute before, so how can you keep telling this as a fact

she's a christian who works in a food processing plant, just like uberman
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anabolichalo
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« Reply #14 on: December 28, 2012, 04:43:35 AM »

Then again: the clergy are takers, so in general a bad influence.
yes those cock suckers are pressuring people into coughing up 10% of their income

what the FUCK!

oh it's in the bible that paying tithes is right, oh ok then i trust you pastor man
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Parker
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« Reply #15 on: December 28, 2012, 05:24:58 AM »

she never admitted to being a prostitute before, so how can you keep telling this as a fact

she's a christian who works in a food processing plant, just like uberman
because you said that she was a hooker, and that you frequent hookers, preferably of the African type.
And you said that she admitted to being an ex-hooker.
And that you find "normal" women with decent jobs and education boring.
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anabolichalo
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« Reply #16 on: December 28, 2012, 05:33:18 AM »

because you said that she was a hooker, and that you frequent hookers, preferably of the African type.
And you said that she admitted to being an ex-hooker.
And that you find "normal" women with decent jobs and education boring.
she may have been a hooker but claims not to have been

she wants to work normal jobs (and does so) but lacks education for decent jobs thus confined to unskilled labor or shop attendant and things of that nature


prostitutes generally would find it impossible to work real jobs because they are used to the fast money and lack discipline

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Parker
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« Reply #17 on: December 28, 2012, 05:46:45 AM »

she may have been a hooker but claims not to have been

she wants to work normal jobs (and does so) but lacks education for decent jobs thus confined to unskilled labor or shop attendant and things of that nature


prostitutes generally would find it impossible to work real jobs because they are used to the fast money and lack discipline


then suggest her taking classes, night classes. Or take out a loan. Or do classes to learn a skill.
And doesn't the job provide classes for people who want to get ahead on those jobs?
Many different options.
You had said that she was a former hooker, said it several times. And now, she denies it.
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