Oh No. Red Meat Has Killed me. Oh no.

[Armani]

According to the article, EACH serving causes a 13% increase in death.  I estimate that I had red meat ten times last month so my chances of death are now 130%.  Had I only known this I could have avoided my now sure demise.  I will miss you all...

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/healthcare/photos/biggest-health-stories-2012#1

"Red meat shortens lifespan

We've heard many times before that too much red meat is bad for us, but this study of more than 100,000 people still got the nation's attention. For the first time, researchers estimated the effect of red meat on a person's lifespan—and the news wasn't good.

On average, each additional serving of saturated fat-filled red meat was associated with a 13% higher risk of dying during the 28-year study. Processed meat products such as hot dogs, bacon, and salami were especially hazardous. The antidote? Eating more fish, poultry, whole grains, and low-fat dairy may lower your risk of dying prematurely, the study found."

[Princess L]

Results  We documented 23 926 deaths (including 5910 CVD and 9464 cancer deaths) during 2.96 million person-years of follow-up. After multivariate adjustment for major lifestyle and dietary risk factors, the pooled hazard ratio (HR) (95% CI) of total mortality for a 1-serving-per-day increase was 1.13 (1.07-1.20) for unprocessed red meat and 1.20 (1.15-1.24) for processed red meat. The corresponding HRs (95% CIs) were 1.18 (1.13-1.23) and 1.21 (1.13-1.31) for CVD mortality and 1.10 (1.06-1.14) and 1.16 (1.09-1.23) for cancer mortality. We estimated that substitutions of 1 serving per day of other foods (including fish, poultry, nuts, legumes, low-fat dairy, and whole grains) for 1 serving per day of red meat were associated with a 7% to 19% lower mortality risk. We also estimated that 9.3% of deaths in men and 7.6% in women in these cohorts could be prevented at the end of follow-up if all the individuals consumed fewer than 0.5 servings per day (approximately 42 g/d) of red meat.
http://archinte.jamanetwork.com/article.aspx?articleid=1134845

[WOOO]

i don't care if rib steaks will kill me... i will wrap them in bacon and brush them with butter until they do so...

love 'em to death