Howard we have been down this road before so here is me being Frank;;
For Fuck Sakes Howard grow some fucken balls and get those damn thongs on, lol.
OK in all seriousness bro, to decide to jump on stage will assure one more all out shredded version of yourself, regardless the outcome you will look the best you have in a long time. All the old memories will come back and you will have a blast during the 12-16 week phase (or however long). I don`t care what anyone says getting in the best shape and looking like someone on stage is nearly impossible without a motivational incentive.
You have nothing to lose, in the worse case scenario you still come out with a sick physique, good times and yet some more memories, beside judging by the last few years this is a chip you are trying to get off your shoulder. Getbig supports you Howard so start looking for the show you want to pick., 
^ THIS.
Do it, Howard. You'd be better off weighing less at your age anyway. Permabulking shit is for teens and 20-somethings. Much beyond that and it's better to stay moderately lean all year anyway.
