On March 1, 1998 my life changed forever.
I woke up and my lower leg was killing me. I went to the hospital with 103 fever and barely able to walk. I was bit by what the doctors told me was a brown recluse spider. To make a very very long story short, I spent the next 28 days in the hospital and the following 6 months barely able to walk and actually crawling on my hands and knees and spending hours in the bath tub because I couldn’t get out. I moved to Las Vegas.
My leg less than 24 hours after getting bit.
I opted to keep my leg against the doctor’s recommendation of amputation. There are times I regret that decision, but overall I am happy I did. I have had many complications and other medical things happen to me as a result of this bite. The most damaging and discouraging is the weight gains due to the inactivity and depression that had set-in because I just couldn’t workout or do things I am accustomed to doing. I went from riding my bike 28 miles a day 3 to 4 days a week and pulling a 120 lb. truck tire around Diamond Head Crater, still benching 500, to being stuck in a bathtub for hours because of the pain I had in my leg and lower back. I would literally at times be crawling through my condo in Las Vegas on my hands and knees and collapse in the middle of the floor for an hour or more. This intense pain lasted for the next 4 years. There were times I couldn't get out of my car in the parking lot of my condo and would sleep in my car.
Monthly reactions to my lower leg resulted in 103 degree fever, severe reddening of the lower leg, peeling of the skin, tremendous swelling, calf would swell to 31"+, fluid leakage from the lower leg and extreme pain. As recent as Christmas of 2006 I spent two weeks in the hospital in Waimea, HI because my leg swelled so badly. I am not blaming the spider bite for the weight gain. I can't blame anyone but myself. All the years I was training I didn't diet like a bodybuilder. I generally ate what I wanted because I knew I would just work it off. I was very active. The spider bite just made it hard or almost impossible to do any kind of training. The pain was that bad and I have a very high pain tolerance. I just never thought about the repercussions from lying around the house and eating. I didn't do anything different or more than I ever did before the bite. But, the big difference was I wasn't in the gym or training like before either. I spent the first 40 years of my life being so active and physical; it all just came to a sudden stop. But, I truly think that it was those 40 years of being extra healthy got me through the past 10 years.
A Totally Different Person
Well from the inactivity and depression that set in I ended up gaining 200 lbs. in about 13 months. I blame myself for everything. I could have dieted but I just never thought about the long term effects. I am very embarrassed and I have become a sort of "recluse" myself. I went from being the life of the party and being so happy 24 hours of the day to staying home and not wanting to see anyone. Just until recently I would avoid seeing any of my old friends I grew up with or knew. I would make up excuses why not to see them. I was so embarrassed the way I looked. Growing up and later in life people always looked up to me. I used to have people come up to me to tell me how much I have helped them in their lives. Now I was weak, fat and lost all my confidence. I hated myself and I hated the way I looked. I just couldn't see anyone. To say I never thought about just ending everything would be a lie. The thing that kept me from doing anything that stupid was when I thought about my two daughters and grandchildren. I know they love me, I know they would miss me. I just couldn't think about how much it would hurt them. So I would immediately lose any thought of doing something stupid. I truly owe my "will to live" to them.
My strength has diminished greatly too (from bench pressing just shy of 600 lbs. to barely doing 225 lbs.) This was the most embarrassing and humiliating part of the past several years besides the weight gain. It seemed like just when I am getting back into shape and getting my strength back I would get sick again. Just a couple summers ago I had my bench back up over 400 lbs. and doing reps with 3I5 lbs. on the seated military press. Then that Christmas I ended up in the hospital cause my leg swelled up so bad. I loved going to the gym everyday and riding my bike and rollerblading. That is what I miss more than anything. And it's unbelievable the depression that sets in. There are so many stories yet so little space.
Making a Comeback in 2011
Well, now I am feeling 100 times better and am back in the gym. My strength is what is coming back very fast. I have set a goal for myself and look forward to reaching it soon. I want to be here to see my kids and grandkids grow up. I want to see my old friends. I want to bench press over 500 lbs. again and be able to walk anywhere and have people look at me because I am muscular again, not fat. I want my life back and I am NOW motivated to do it. When I do, look for me on Oprah. I will post progress pics as I go along.
And, thank you for reading all this shortened version of my life but I am far from being a writer and write how I talk. So the people who know me can easily imagine me saying what I write. I am done procrastinating.
"I don't get sad thinking about dying, I get sad thinking about what I will miss"
