lol at the 2nd one.
We went out to eat lunch late today and they were setting up dinner tables for Valintine's. Some guy at another table stopped a waitress and asked if there was something special going on today. She looked at him and said, "you don't know what today is?" He shrugged and she said, "Valintine's Day" He looked at his wife and said, "shit, I thought it was on the 21st." I almost spit my food out laughing. No sex for him tonight lol...