BREAKING NEWS: New Bodybuilding Disease Discovered - Swoliosis

[Ronnie Rep]

Dude you need to write a boke titled THE BOBYBUILDERS GUIDE TO BAD HEALTH!

What Is It?

Swoliosis is the buildup of fluid called 'swole' in the tissues under your arm skin when something blocks its normal flow. This causes swelling.

Swole normally does an important job for your body. It carries foreign material and bacteria away from your arm tissues, and it circulates infection-fighting cells that are part of your immune system.

Swole flows slowly through the network of vessels called your swoliatic system. Swole flow stops at points along the way to be filtered through swole nodes. Swole nodes are small bean-shaped organs that are part of your immune system.

Swole is formed from the fluid that surrounds cells in the arms. It makes its way into very small swoliatic vessels. After traveling through these small vessels, swole drains into deeper, wider swole channels that run through the body. Eventually, swole fluid returns to the blood.

Swoliosis occurs when there is inadequate swole drainage from the body, usually from a blockage in a swole channel. Swoliatic fluid builds up underneath arm skin and causes swelling.


A patient from a recent study.

In most cases of swoliosis, the swoliatic system has been injured so that the flow of swole is blocked either temporarily or permanently. This is called secondary swoliosis. Two known causes exist:

1. Genetics at birth. Also known as congenital swoliosis. Risk is higher in male Caucasian newborns. Usually both arms are swollen.

2. Injecting huge amounts of oil into the arms such that their proven reserves rival that of the Ghanar Fields'; the injected oil itself swells in addition to blocking the flow of swole.

Symptoms

Swoliosis causes swelling with a feeling of heaviness, tightness or fullness in the arms. The arms take on a droopy, soft appearance and look unflexed no matter what:



Additional symptoms may include:

-A dull ache in the affected arm(s)
-A feeling of tightness in the skin of the affected arm(s)
-Difficulty moving an arm or bending at a joint because of swelling and skin tightness
-In rare cases, swole may travel to the patient's brain, affecting their self-perception


In rare cases, swole is deposited in the brain, affecting the patient's self-perception and tendency towards narcissism.

Diagnosis

Your doctor will ask you whether you injected huge amounts of oil into your arms. The doctor may ask if you have ever had a swole clot. If a child has swoliosis, the doctor will ask if anyone in your family had arm swelling starting at a young age. This may indicate an inherited disorder.

Your doctor will examine the swollen arm(s) and press on the affected skin to look for a fingertip indentation (pitting). The skin will be indented in people with the much more common type of edema caused by leaky blood vessels. Pitting does not happen when you press on skin if you have swoliosis.

Expected Duration

Swoliosis is a permanent condition except if caused by oil injections, in which case it can be cured by draining the excess oil. However, this procedure does damage to the biceps muscles such that they worse than if oil had never been injected in the first place.

Prevention

-Not injecting huge amounts of oil into one's arms

-For people with more severe swoliosis, doctors prescribe inflatable sleeves that can be worn around the arms, called swoliatic compression devices. These sleeves are attached to a machine that alternately fills and deflates them with air, and they can be used at home to help reduce arm swelling.


A patient undergoing swoliatic compression device treatment at home. We're not quite sure why he's so cheery.

When to Call a Professional

Make an appointment with your doctor if you develop symptoms of swoliosis.

You should call your doctor the same day if you have symptoms that could be from an infection:

-Fever, redness, warmth or increased pain in addition to swelling
-Open sores or areas of broken skin

[King Shizzo]

Says the féllá who's been posting roughly three times as much as me per day for almost half a decade.  

Maybe he meant you should get a job as a writer of some sort? Not everything is bashing .

[cswol]

I know its so easy for you fellas to type on a keyboard behind a screen on the net, but its actually a difficult task for you to get off of your NO SIZE PUNK ASSES, and actually go to the gym, I know its a huge challenge for you to actually get in the gym and do any lifting because your results and progress are non-existent, and it is a severe blow to your internet ego to know that you can type on getbig.com like your big lifters and bodybuilders, but when you get in the gym you do only a few sets when the realization of being big like you portray on the internet, will never come to fruition. Im about to go train arms, yup i think pumped my arms are nearly 22 inches, i believe i weigh about 278 upon waking up, and yeah, im gonna love going to the gym and relishing in the fact im the biggest and most hardcore training muthafucker in the gym or any gym i go to, yeah even golds venice, i will probably curl the 100 lb dumbells for 3 reps, curl 225 straightbar, hit me some good tricep lifts before i hit my bicep lift, and grow like a fucking animal, and laugh at the fact im huge and strong, while you guys are sitting on the internet wondering what your next keystroke will be when someone like me owns your asses every second of the day! Damn typing all this, even though i type 73 words per minute, made my arms pump up a little bit, too bad i cant sit around and type all day like you skinny hyper feminized queens, my arms might grow an inch just from typing.

[Soul Crusher]

I know its so easy for you fellas to type on a keyboard behind a screen on the net, but its actually a difficult task for you to get off of your NO SIZE PUNK ASSES, and actually go to the gym, I know its a huge challenge for you to actually get in the gym and do any lifting because your results and progress are non-existent, and it is a severe blow to your internet ego to know that you can type on getbig.com like your big lifters and bodybuilders, but when you get in the gym you do only a few sets when the realization of being big like you portray on the internet, will never come to fruition. Im about to go train arms, yup i think pumped my arms are nearly 22 inches, i believe i weigh about 278 upon waking up, and yeah, im gonna love going to the gym and relishing in the fact im the biggest and most hardcore training muthafucker in the gym or any gym i go to, yeah even golds venice, i will probably curl the 100 lb dumbells for 3 reps, curl 225 straightbar, hit me some good tricep lifts before i hit my bicep lift, and grow like a fucking animal, and laugh at the fact im huge and strong, while you guys are sitting on the internet wondering what your next keystroke will be when someone like me owns your asses every second of the day! Damn typing all this, even though i type 73 words per minute, made my arms pump up a little bit, too bad i cant sit around and type all day like you skinny hyper feminized queens, my arms might grow an inch just from typing.

At least you will go out on top. 

[FitnessFrenzy]

  maybe you guys should actually go to the gym and lift, your experience posting on a internet chat board has no relevance to being big or getting big, i think you should walk around with a tshirt that says, I POST ON GETBIG, BUT STAY SMALL, never seen such a group of pussman small man ILS NSS SMS clowns in my life, would own every one of you in person, i laugh my ass off every time, just thinking about you pussy clowns makes me laugh, i go to the gym and say boy wonder if the pros over at getbig could lift that 35 lbs that lady is training with, then i think in my head, I highly doubt it, only thing they are lifting is their boyfriends asses off their faces................... ... I OWN EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU CLOWNS, FACT

it is clear that you don't know the difference between , and .
so yes you own us.  

[FitnessFrenzy]

I know its so easy for you fellas to type on a keyboard behind a screen on the net, but its actually a difficult task for you to get off of your NO SIZE PUNK ASSES, and actually go to the gym, I know its a huge challenge for you to actually get in the gym and do any lifting because your results and progress are non-existent, and it is a severe blow to your internet ego to know that you can type on getbig.com like your big lifters and bodybuilders, but when you get in the gym you do only a few sets when the realization of being big like you portray on the internet, will never come to fruition. Im about to go train arms, yup i think pumped my arms are nearly 22 inches, i believe i weigh about 278 upon waking up, and yeah, im gonna love going to the gym and relishing in the fact im the biggest and most hardcore training muthafucker in the gym or any gym i go to, yeah even golds venice, i will probably curl the 100 lb dumbells for 3 reps, curl 225 straightbar, hit me some good tricep lifts before i hit my bicep lift, and grow like a fucking animal, and laugh at the fact im huge and strong, while you guys are sitting on the internet wondering what your next keystroke will be when someone like me owns your asses every second of the day! Damn typing all this, even though i type 73 words per minute, made my arms pump up a little bit, too bad i cant sit around and type all day like you skinny hyper feminized queens, my arms might grow an inch just from typing.

sound to me like you have a strong desire for the cock.

[DroppingPlates]

Funny as hell

There's even a guy on Youtube, called Steve Cook, who started a 'Swoldier Nation' channel... that name is beyond pathetic

[Schnauzer]

I'm starting to like cswole. I don't care for the "wigger" persona, but the guy clearly loves the iron.

[Coach is Back!]

So says the fellá who's been posting roughly three times as much as me per day for the better part of half a decade.  

It takes me roughly 5-10 sec to post just about anything, you're on here all day posting posting full page well thought out articles. Do the math.

[cswol]

maybe i should go over to long beach to metroflex gym and train with ct fletcher and put it on video and every set call out you getsmaller getbiggers by name one by one............man that would be a huge owning, me and ct fletcher calling every pussy out on getbig, saying yeah you gettin big over there typing on that keyboard ya muthafuckin pussy, did you forget to change your panties before you came, what are you 189 lbs soakin wet, ya pussy muthafuckers............ .......man  what a classic owning that would be, since i was thinking about starting to train at metroflex since its only 9 miles from my house, if I do, or if I dont, you still might see a cswol, big fletch video, just to own the shit out of every person talking shit on getbig

[J. Richards]

Get to 8-10%..... and stay that way..... otherwise shut the fuck up.... you don't own shit

[cswol]

8-10% is for pussies working their abs everday, over here we pump iron, and actually lift

[J. Richards]

Yeah......my 30 years of training has been for abs......... hopeless turd

[TrueGrit]

I'm really starting to like cswol.

Syntaxmachine producing some seriously underrated comedy gold.

[Irongrip400]

.

This is the same guy? Holy shit, he looks to have aged ten years between photos.

[Schnauzer]

8-10% is for pussies working their abs everday, over here we pump iron, and actually lift

I would agree with cswole on this. I see a lot of guys in the gym that don't make size or strength gains because they are so worried about their abs/bodyfat.

[BikiniSlut]

  maybe you guys should actually go to the gym and lift, your experience posting on a internet chat board has no relevance to being big or getting big, i think you should walk around with a tshirt that says, I POST ON GETBIG, BUT STAY SMALL, never seen such a group of pussman small man ILS NSS SMS clowns in my life, would own every one of you in person, i laugh my ass off every time, just thinking about you pussy clowns makes me laugh, i go to the gym and say boy wonder if the pros over at getbig could lift that 35 lbs that lady is training with, then i think in my head, I highly doubt it, only thing they are lifting is their boyfriends asses off their faces................... ... I OWN EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU CLOWNS, FACT

I'm not a big girl. I have more muscle than the average girl but I'm by no means big. However I can't help but wonder if I have more muscle than you since you seem to be all synthol and shit.

[J. Richards]

Do not include me with the FFL posers...... Forever Fitness Look......... if swole wants to be 20%... good for him.....  

[Soul Crusher]

Do not include me with the FFL posers...... Forever Fitness Look......... if swole wants to be 20%... good for him.....  

That is way more than 20% 

[BikiniSlut]

I'm starting to like cswole. I don't care for the "wigger" persona, but the guy clearly loves the iron.

Agreed. I have no problem with "the swole".

However he loves the iron but hates the diet, cardio, etc.

[BikiniSlut]

That is way more than 20% 

Haha....indeed it is. If that's 20% than I'm at 3% bodyfat right now.

[haider]

  maybe you guys should actually go to the gym and lift, your experience posting on a internet chat board has no relevance to being big or getting big, i think you should walk around with a tshirt that says, I POST ON GETBIG, BUT STAY SMALL, never seen such a group of pussman small man ILS NSS SMS clowns in my life, would own every one of you in person, i laugh my ass off every time, just thinking about you pussy clowns makes me laugh, i go to the gym and say boy wonder if the pros over at getbig could lift that 35 lbs that lady is training with, then i think in my head, I highly doubt it, only thing they are lifting is their boyfriends asses off their faces................... ... I OWN EVERY FUCKING ONE OF YOU CLOWNS, FACT

syntax is good people, just having a laugh at your expense. you should lose some weight though.

[BikiniSlut]

No, please! If you slip on the beach and fall on an arm we might have another Valdez on our hands!

Oh my god I can barely catch my breath I'm laughing so fucking hard. 

Fucking funny. HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

Poster of the month with this gem right here. 

[King Shizzo]

No, please! If you slip on the beach and fall on an arm we might have another Valdez on our hands!

That was gold.

[cswol]

Yeah buddy yeah buddy