Author Topic: Why "Temple of Doom" is the best Indiana Jones movie - no shit (Read 4937 times)

ribonucleic · « **on:** April 14, 2013, 10:31:58 AM »

Best Villain

Darth Vader might Force-choke a bitch. But even he couldn't tear someone's heart out of their chest and hold it aloft in flames while still keeping them alive to burn them to death. That's style.

Mola Ram is so evil that, for him, enslaving children is just a sideline to deicide. ("The Hebrew god will fall!") Blowing up someone's planet is chump change by comparison.

It's true that he didn't have the best villain death...

But he did get the best Fuck You:

Most bad-ass Indy

This Indy isn't about furnishing museums. He steals the ashes of a Chinese emperor just to score a big fat diamond.

He cheats a kid at poker. When his woman gets uppity, he bullwhips her.

All this bad-assery is before we even get to...

Evil Indy

Evil Indy smacks the kid sidekick to the floor! Evil Indy manacles the girl into a deathtrap!

Evil Indy alone would put Temple of Doom at the top of the list.

Grossest gross-out

The gross-out scene is a franchise trademark. The chamber of bugs by itself would earn the movie this title. But that takes a distant second place to Snake Surprise.

Best joke

"Stop playing with that kid!"

Most racist

Racism is, of course, a bad thing. But it's a bedrock of the pulp adventure genre. So in this respect, Temple of Doom is truest to its source material.

Most muscular Indy

Not necessarily important in general. But presumably of interest to this readership.

hardgainerj · « **Reply #1 on:** April 14, 2013, 10:54:05 AM »

the one with sean connery

King Shizzo · « **Reply #2 on:** April 14, 2013, 11:43:30 AM »

You immediately go on my non ban list. I (The Slueth Of Getbig) have been contracted by an outside company, to recommend bannings of fake Getbiggers. You are saved.

dr.chimps · « **Reply #3 on:** April 14, 2013, 11:58:39 AM »

That's a lot of work done over an incorrect thesis.

Tapeworm · « **Reply #4 on:** April 14, 2013, 12:15:04 PM »

Quote from: ribonucleic on April 14, 2013, 10:31:58 AM

Best joke

"Stop playing with that kid!"

Classic line. Right up there with "Hey, bitch!"

Kwon_2 · « **Reply #5 on:** April 14, 2013, 01:31:59 PM »

Yes , Temple of Doom was the best

Very memorable scenes were Mola Rams Heartburn, The Bugs and the Dinnerscene with eyeballsoup

King Shizzo · « **Reply #6 on:** April 14, 2013, 01:34:45 PM »

Quote from: Kwon_2 on April 14, 2013, 01:31:59 PM

Yes , Temple of Doom was the best

Very memorable scenes were Mola Rams Heartburn, The Bugs and the Dinnerscene with eyeballsoup

And chilled, monkey brains.

sancho ed · « **Reply #7 on:** April 14, 2013, 01:41:11 PM »

I agree! also the first one I saw!

King Shizzo · « **Reply #8 on:** April 14, 2013, 01:46:17 PM »

Quote from: sancho ed on April 14, 2013, 01:41:11 PM

I agree! also the first one I saw!

Prove you are a Facebigger!

Hulkotron · « **Reply #9 on:** April 14, 2013, 06:03:51 PM »

It's very good, not sure if it's the best but I like it.

Most people seem to think it's the worst Indy movie for some reason. They're all good imo except for the one with Shy LaBoof.

Desolate · « **Reply #10 on:** April 15, 2013, 12:21:05 AM »

1. Raiders of the Lost Ark
2. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
3. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Trivia for IJ and the T of D:

1. Look at the name of the nightclub after Indy and Willie jump out the window. The place is named Club Obi-Wan.
2. George Lucas is the guy carrying the sack that walks past/bumps Indy, Willie and Short Round at the airport.
3. The guy they meet up with at the airport is actor Dan Ackroyd.