Write–up by the highly gifted and talented Kahn.N.Singh. This definitely deserves its own thread!!The P.I.P. Endowment Subsidy (PIPES) was established in 2013 with a generous contribution of $200 from its founder, P.I.P., and an additional $109.23 donation from a rogues' gallery of incorrigible scoundrels who also serve on its Board of Trustees. Its purpose is to foster the exchange of amity, fellowship, and bodily fluids between the ogreish man-whore Tbombz and promising young men who are dedicated to improving the art and practice of schmoeing. The value of the inaugural award is $214.25, which is expressly allocated to cover Tbombz’ fee, bus fare, and a couple of refreshing sugary drinks.
Although the ultimate goal is to lay down PIPES around the world, the administration is presently accepting applications only from or near Tbombz’ Stockton, CA, vicinity. Applications are being accepted on a rolling basis and must exhibit the following PIPES standards:
*The Endowment requires evidence of academic achievement (the Board of Trustees has set a rigid cutoff at no lower than coming within 10% of passing the High School Equivalency Exam).
*The Endowment requires evidence of extraordinary vitality, drive, and passion to actualize one’s schmoeing potential to its fullest.
*The Endowment requires evidence of an above-average endowment (either by current photograph, video, or, most preferred, private appointment).
*The Endowment requires that all applications be accompanied with a $750 processing fee.
In addition to meeting these standards, applications also require a 750 word essay on either of the following two topics: (1) Whom do you imagine has a better operatic singing voice: Galeniko or Cswol? (2) Is it gay even if you don’t want it to be?
PIPES News:
The Board of Trustees is proud to announce the winner of the first PIPES prize. He is Manolo Iannone, 18, a soon-to-be graduate of Caesar Chavez High School. Iannone, who originally hails from Argentina, won the award committee over with his sincerity, accomplished study of the violin, and $753 application fee. Excelsior!
