What percentage of marriages would you say are happy ones?

[SF1900]

Haha spot on. Although I know there are a few guys out there that like to stay single, most of these threads are just looking for approval, yeah because staying single will make you automatically happy while getting married will turn your life into hell and you will ended up divorcing after 1 year.  

Well, the divorce rate is pretty high.

Either way, it really depends on the person, as I am sure you know.

[Childish///AMG]

I would venture to guess "25%" 

[cswol]

in california divorce rate is 80% or something, and what is horrible is when your on a big run, and the wife doesnt want to have sex, fucking horrible

[Primemuscle]

Well, the divorce rate is pretty high.

Either way, it really depends on the person, as I am sure you know.

Is it possible people have been sold a bill of goods when it comes to marriage? Marriage is for better or worse, in sickness and in health and till death do us part, etc. It seems as if those are just empty words for a lot of people. As soon as they hit a rough patch they split. Since most marriages have these low points, people who are not committed leave to look for something better only there often isn't anything better, just more of the same.

My sister has been married 5 times. She is 55 years old and alone now. Some of her husbands seemed like pretty good guys too.

[JBGRAY]

Mine is.....don't give a fuck what the other guy does.

[dj181]

most people dont want to marry nowadays because they want to keep their money.

what's your take on this concept of karma?

[phreak]

'bout three fiddy%


For realz: depends on the length of the marriage. Overall maybe 30%. Married for 10 or more years then odds may rise to 50%.


FYI: happily married for 7.5 years.

[phreak]

in california divorce rate is 80% or something, and what is horrible is when your on a big run, and the wife doesnt want to have sex, fucking horrible

Can't imagine you having sex while running.

[uoykcuf]

I'm very happily married.

[cephissus]

people marry to survive. To play the game, because they ve been conditionned to do so. All behaviors are animal behaviors. Some survive better alone. Fact is, there is no point , purpose, to all of this. All life forms only follow blind predeterminated paths, bheaviors, they dont choose and simply reproduce subconsciously. All life forms have for only point in life to survive until they can reproduce, and every single human behavior just like any animal or vegetal behavior is a strategy of survival. There s no good or evil, there s what survives, and what doesnt. Nobody cares about what doesnt survives. Life is a free for all and you only feel good when you win. Most people goal in life is to win as much as possible instead of losing, because losing makes you feel bad. Most people lose, fail, constantly as there are more and more people on earth, and only 1% of them are winners. It means 99.9% of mankind is made of losers who hope to become winners. Their only goal in life is to win. At all cost. Some people havent been conditionned to marry in order to survive, some people have been conditionned to survive alone. Some people hate mankind, life, but stay alive just to destroy it and to benefit from all the good feelings it can provide them. Their motto is i didnt choose to be here so at least let's enjoy it at all costs. None of this, makes sense; sense is just something we create but ultimately everything in life is all about killing or getting killed.

BTW the point of marrying someone and making alliance with others, families etc is to dominate in society. We re always dominating, or being dominated by someone else; most people when they leave an influence, are only doing it to submit themselves to another influence.

The more people there are on earth, the less people can stand each others. It s easier to appreciate others when they are few, when you need them because they are rare. When you live in cities full of people, you know you can replace anyone with anyone else, basically you realize nobody is unique, important, as you slowly realize we re just all copies, clones, of each others, all trying to make up bullshit unique personalities, characters, all influenced by the very same models, books, movies, characters.  The more people there are, the more people start to hate on each others, it is probably a subconscious , purely animalistic process which randomly leads the human race to purify itself from within with wars. In these wars it's not the good guys who win, it's the biggest assholes, the strongest ones, the smartest, fastest ones. Then they write history and make themselves the good guys. The more people you see everyday, the less you care about them this is the irony of living in cities, everyone wants its share of happiness , domination, all pretending to enjoy being with each others, when in fact deep inside themselves they want to jump at each others throats and are just calculating their next plays to fuck each others.

Life is a struggle, life is about survival, and everything that exists is strategy of survival. Hapiness only and solely happen when you re winning. But even if you win, in the end, you lose. Your only solace is either to think at least my kids, grandkids, will dominate more than i did, or, for a growing number of people, especially nihilistic atheists, they think ; they , we, life, this ironical, cruel joke, will end one day anyway, so lets abuse evrything as conseqences dont matter anyways.

All lifeforms, animal, vegetal, species, die, disapear, are unable to adapt anymore at some point. Between the birth of life and its doom, it's all about constant war, constant struggle, constant pain for 99% of lifeforms, especially humans who are conscious while vegetal and other animal species arent. They re born, they die, they simply dont care. Again, humans are animals who are conscious of being animals. That makes them somewhat different from all other life forms on earth. Still their lives, existences, purposes, are conditionned by mostly all the same principles, rules than other lifeforms. Our only difference is our ability to give a meaning, sense, to what we see, understand, but this ability is still in intrinsically in itself, just another strategy of survival among countless others.

great post

[uoykcuf]

people marry to survive. To play the game, because they ve been conditionned to do so. All behaviors are animal behaviors.

Completely wrong.

[Croatch]

I marvel at celebrity men who get married 3x or more.  How brainwashed are these fools?  Be like Clooney.  I'm famous, worth 100 million, you blow me and be glad you are.  Sign a document entitling you to some of my cash...sorry, there's the door.  Be a man.

[phreak]

people marry to survive. To play the game, because they ve been conditionned to do so. All behaviors are animal behaviors. Some survive better alone. Fact is, there is no point , purpose, to all of this. All life forms only follow blind predeterminated paths, bheaviors, they dont choose and simply reproduce subconsciously. All life forms have for only point in life to survive until they can reproduce, and every single human behavior just like any animal or vegetal behavior is a strategy of survival. There s no good or evil, there s what survives, and what doesnt. Nobody cares about what doesnt survives. Life is a free for all and you only feel good when you win. Most people goal in life is to win as much as possible instead of losing, because losing makes you feel bad. Most people lose, fail, constantly as there are more and more people on earth, and only 1% of them are winners. It means 99.9% of mankind is made of losers who hope to become winners. Their only goal in life is to win. At all cost. Some people havent been conditionned to marry in order to survive, some people have been conditionned to survive alone. Some people hate mankind, life, but stay alive just to destroy it and to benefit from all the good feelings it can provide them. Their motto is i didnt choose to be here so at least let's enjoy it at all costs. None of this, makes sense; sense is just something we create but ultimately everything in life is all about killing or getting killed.

BTW the point of marrying someone and making alliance with others, families etc is to dominate in society. We re always dominating, or being dominated by someone else; most people when they leave an influence, are only doing it to submit themselves to another influence.

The more people there are on earth, the less people can stand each others. It s easier to appreciate others when they are few, when you need them because they are rare. When you live in cities full of people, you know you can replace anyone with anyone else, basically you realize nobody is unique, important, as you slowly realize we re just all copies, clones, of each others, all trying to make up bullshit unique personalities, characters, all influenced by the very same models, books, movies, characters.  The more people there are, the more people start to hate on each others, it is probably a subconscious , purely animalistic process which randomly leads the human race to purify itself from within with wars. In these wars it's not the good guys who win, it's the biggest assholes, the strongest ones, the smartest, fastest ones. Then they write history and make themselves the good guys. The more people you see everyday, the less you care about them this is the irony of living in cities, everyone wants its share of happiness , domination, all pretending to enjoy being with each others, when in fact deep inside themselves they want to jump at each others throats and are just calculating their next plays to fuck each others.

Life is a struggle, life is about survival, and everything that exists is strategy of survival. Hapiness only and solely happen when you re winning. But even if you win, in the end, you lose. Your only solace is either to think at least my kids, grandkids, will dominate more than i did, or, for a growing number of people, especially nihilistic atheists, they think ; they , we, life, this ironical, cruel joke, will end one day anyway, so lets abuse evrything as conseqences dont matter anyways.

All lifeforms, animal, vegetal, species, die, disapear, are unable to adapt anymore at some point. Between the birth of life and its doom, it's all about constant war, constant struggle, constant pain for 99% of lifeforms, especially humans who are conscious while vegetal and other animal species arent. They re born, they die, they simply dont care. Again, humans are animals who are conscious of being animals. That makes them somewhat different from all other life forms on earth. Still their lives, existences, purposes, are conditionned by mostly all the same principles, rules than other lifeforms. Our only difference is our ability to give a meaning, sense, to what we see, understand, but this ability is still in intrinsically in itself, just another strategy of survival among countless others.

[Tapeworm]

people marry to survive. To play the game, because they ve been conditionned to do so. All behaviors are animal behaviors. Some survive better alone. Fact is, there is no point , purpose, to all of this. All life forms only follow blind predeterminated paths, bheaviors, they dont choose and simply reproduce subconsciously. All life forms have for only point in life to survive until they can reproduce, and every single human behavior just like any animal or vegetal behavior is a strategy of survival. There s no good or evil, there s what survives, and what doesnt. Nobody cares about what doesnt survives. Life is a free for all and you only feel good when you win. Most people goal in life is to win as much as possible instead of losing, because losing makes you feel bad. Most people lose, fail, constantly as there are more and more people on earth, and only 1% of them are winners. It means 99.9% of mankind is made of losers who hope to become winners. Their only goal in life is to win. At all cost. Some people havent been conditionned to marry in order to survive, some people have been conditionned to survive alone. Some people hate mankind, life, but stay alive just to destroy it and to benefit from all the good feelings it can provide them. Their motto is i didnt choose to be here so at least let's enjoy it at all costs. None of this, makes sense; sense is just something we create but ultimately everything in life is all about killing or getting killed.

BTW the point of marrying someone and making alliance with others, families etc is to dominate in society. We re always dominating, or being dominated by someone else; most people when they leave an influence, are only doing it to submit themselves to another influence.

The more people there are on earth, the less people can stand each others. It s easier to appreciate others when they are few, when you need them because they are rare. When you live in cities full of people, you know you can replace anyone with anyone else, basically you realize nobody is unique, important, as you slowly realize we re just all copies, clones, of each others, all trying to make up bullshit unique personalities, characters, all influenced by the very same models, books, movies, characters.  The more people there are, the more people start to hate on each others, it is probably a subconscious , purely animalistic process which randomly leads the human race to purify itself from within with wars. In these wars it's not the good guys who win, it's the biggest assholes, the strongest ones, the smartest, fastest ones. Then they write history and make themselves the good guys. The more people you see everyday, the less you care about them this is the irony of living in cities, everyone wants its share of happiness , domination, all pretending to enjoy being with each others, when in fact deep inside themselves they want to jump at each others throats and are just calculating their next plays to fuck each others.

Life is a struggle, life is about survival, and everything that exists is strategy of survival. Hapiness only and solely happen when you re winning. But even if you win, in the end, you lose. Your only solace is either to think at least my kids, grandkids, will dominate more than i did, or, for a growing number of people, especially nihilistic atheists, they think ; they , we, life, this ironical, cruel joke, will end one day anyway, so lets abuse evrything as conseqences dont matter anyways.

All lifeforms, animal, vegetal, species, die, disapear, are unable to adapt anymore at some point. Between the birth of life and its doom, it's all about constant war, constant struggle, constant pain for 99% of lifeforms, especially humans who are conscious while vegetal and other animal species arent. They re born, they die, they simply dont care. Again, humans are animals who are conscious of being animals. That makes them somewhat different from all other life forms on earth. Still their lives, existences, purposes, are conditionned by mostly all the same principles, rules than other lifeforms. Our only difference is our ability to give a meaning, sense, to what we see, understand, but this ability is still in intrinsically in itself, just another strategy of survival among countless others.

You raise some interesting points.  Please expand on these.

[Radical Plato]

Marriage is bullshit!  My parents were married for 45 years then separated. In that time they had 5 kids and I wouldn't describe their union as happy, convenient, YES, but not HAPPY.  Ironically both of their parents separated after the same amount of time.  All those claiming to be happy now, you wait till 30 years, 35 years, 40 years then come back and tell me how happy you are.  I don't think in my time I have ever met a happy couple, I have met plenty who try and fake it, but I am pretty good at seeing through bullshit!

The problem with humans is, they are 'MORE' creatures, they always want more, because they think what they want is better than what it is.  When they finally get what they want, they realise the reality of it, that it wasn't as good as what they thought it was, and the only way to overcome that is too start the cycle again.  Chasing an illusion.  I think the best one can hope for is to be content with being in a miserable relationship.  The alternative is to learn to live on your own, and be content with that. 

[phreak]

You raise some interesting points.  Please expand on these.

[Wiggs]

lol

[Henda]

Not married but have lived with wor lass for 7 years and have 2 kids.
In all honesty i feel i just do it for the kids and had we not had kids id have fucked off years ago so id say its not exactly happy.
I was very happy single

[TommyBoy]

Mine currently isn't. Mostly all my own fault though.

[Thin Lizzy]

great post

I'll take your word for it.

[snx]

I like being married.

She's good to me and genuinely cares about my happiness, which is rare; almost everyone on this planet couldn't care less about me, so I'm grateful for that.

She's loyal. Loyalty is a most precious commodity and cannot be over-valued. I'm not just talking about not sleeping around. I mean she's also loyal to our shared goals, and drives towards them. That's mission-critical stuff.

She's disease-free. Other women may be physically tempting, but what diseases are they harboring? I want none of that. I'm disease free, and like it that way. Her loyalty ensures she is too. Health cannot be taken for granted or over-valued.

She's a strong mother for the kids. Nothing in life is more important than my children. I would gladly die for them. And if they died, my world would end. Someone once said: "You know you truly love someone if you can't imagine being able to go on living without them". That's how I feel about my children. Therefore, the people other than me trusted with caring for them are of the utmost importance to me. My wife is the primary care-giver. She's even better than I am. I rest easy knowing that, and this benefit to me is irreplaceable. She has my loyalty for life if for no other reason than this.

She made me better. Granted, I'm a pretty amazing person without her. But she did make me even better, and I owe her for that.

I wouldn't like to go through life without her. The honeymoon was over long ago. Now it's a strong partnership based on trust and mutual respect and genuine friendship and support...something that can go the distance until we're old and dead.

[oldtimer1]

The pontificating on marriage as being a conditioned means to survival is something that I would expect from from this generation nothing. Comparing us to animals with such pessimistic negativity is really a reflection of how that person sees them self in the world. I feel sorry for anyone who goes through life with no hope.

[kh300]

if I had that car my life would be so much better

If I won the lotto my life would be so much better

If I get that promotion at work my life would be so much better

If I get that bigger house my life will be so much better

If I met the perfect girl my life will be so much better


Just like everything else we are all looking for that thing to make our lives better. The moment you start to 'externalize' your life, looking outward to fill a void, you are doomed. People go out and take out huge loans on cars, then realize that wasn't the answer and have to deal with the debt. People go out and get married and realize that wasn't the answer. Then they have kids and realize that wasn't the answer.

Not saying these things are bad if you have them, but people use material objects in the search for happiness, the same way we look for a partner.
We always resist what is. Be 100% happy and content with your life before you get married, otherwise the driving force to make those decisions will result in misery.

[Croatch]

I like being married.

She's good to me and genuinely cares about my happiness, which is rare; almost everyone on this planet couldn't care less about me, so I'm grateful for that.

She's loyal. Loyalty is a most precious commodity and cannot be over-valued. I'm not just talking about not sleeping around. I mean she's also loyal to our shared goals, and drives towards them. That's mission-critical stuff.

She's disease-free. Other women may be physically tempting, but what diseases are they harboring? I want none of that. I'm disease free, and like it that way. Her loyalty ensures she is too. Health cannot be taken for granted or over-valued.

She's a strong mother for the kids. Nothing in life is more important than my children. I would gladly die for them. And if they died, my world would end. Someone once said: "You know you truly love someone if you can't imagine being able to go on living without them". That's how I feel about my children. Therefore, the people other than me trusted with caring for them are of the utmost importance to me. My wife is the primary care-giver. She's even better than I am. I rest easy knowing that, and this benefit to me is irreplaceable. She has my loyalty for life if for no other reason than this.

She made me better. Granted, I'm a pretty amazing person without her. But she did make me even better, and I owe her for that.

I wouldn't like to go through life without her. The honeymoon was over long ago. Now it's a strong partnership based on trust and mutual respect and genuine friendship and support...something that can go the distance until we're old and dead.

How is being married any different from just being in a relationship?  Same thing, other than a legal contract that binds assets.  Do you feel like a slave to your children?

[phreak]

How is being married any different from just being in a relationship? 

Tax benefits.