How is being married any different from just being in a relationship? Same thing, other than a legal contract that binds assets. Do you feel like a slave to your children?
It isn't different. I never said it was. I could have easily said "committed relationship" instead of "Married". So I agree with you.
And I could never feel like a slave to my kids. I made them, after all. That was my choice. Volunteered indentured servitude is a pretty stupid proposition. I'd like to think I'm smarter than that.
Besides, I couldn't love them as much as I do if I felt like a slave. Sure, they drive me crazy. But I invited them into my life - not the other way around.
When I'm dying, I'll be thinking about them. When I'm alive every day, I think about them. They are unequivocally the most important thing in my life, without a doubt and I will always do anything and everything I can to support and love them.
The little things they share with me - the way they make me love them or drive me crazy or whatever - are the weird little things only dads and moms get to see. That little part of them that they choose to share with me. That's what makes it special...that I have this little person who thinks I'm so great, and they have this big person around them who thinks their so great. It's unconditional love.
Some guys will never know unconditional love, even if they get married, or commit to a woman, or have kids. Some guys just don't have it in them to love unconditionally. Hell, I didn't think I did either before I had kids. But I was wrong. I have that capacity (albeit for only two people), and it's quite amazing how powerful and compelling it is. It's actually quite scary what that level of commitment can make a man do. It's more powerful than any other force in this world.
When a man is motivated by unconditional love, he will do great things to keep that love alive. He will give everything he has and will die for it, to keep it alive.
There is nothing scarier, more powerful, or more forceful and productive than a man who has found a driving force and then commits with his entire being to that force. He cannot be defeated. All you can do is take away his force (i.e. his kids), and then all you've done is created a man with nothing to lose - and that's just as scary.
But giving yourself over to unconditional love has to be the scariest thing I'll ever do in my life. It's very hard to desribe.
