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Author Topic: If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find him, maybe  (Read 545 times)
Army of One
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« on: June 25, 2013, 04:38:59 AM »

..you can hire........KEGDRAINER




So I went down to Florida for vacation....had a great time in Disneyworld...

Went to my parent's house for thanksgiving dinner.  My stepmother wanted me to move a landscaping rock for her that they had delivered a week before.  The rock weighed 590 pounds according to the reciept from the place they bought it from.  Not only did I manage to lift this rock off the ground, i was able to carry it about 30 feet from the curb where it was dropped off to the garden next to the driveway.  

No belt, no lifting straps, no chalk.

590 pound stone....an 800 lb deadlift can't be that far away.

suck on that haters  Cool





So there I am yesterday at the Wegman's supermarket where i usually shop...and i'm cruising the parking lot looking for a spot.  Sunday at 6pm is probably the worst time to shop there and their parking lot is seriously undersized for the amount of customers they have.  So I'm about to pull into a spot and some dickhead on a bike screeches to a halt in front of me and the 110 pound crackhead rider drops his half filled garbage bag of soda cans that he obviously spent all day collecting to fund his drug habit.  He's cursing at me and I lay on the horn to get his shit out of my way so I can park and he kicks the front of my car.  I got out of my car and grabbed his bike and threw it into one of the cart return corrals.  Then I go back to my car and he's reaching in his pocket and walkin towards me.  So he pulls out a knife and before he can even raise it I grabbed his wrist and stuffed it in my car door and slammed it about 4 times.  He dropped the knife and his shit was definitely broken.  Then I picked him up by his shirt and belt and threw him into the cart corral on top of his bike.  There were about a dozen people loading shit into their cars and someone must have seen the shit going down because the supermarket security guys came running out to see what was happening.  Crackhead is trying to get up and i'm laughing my ass off.  The security guys are like what the fuck, and I told them what happened and then 2 cop cars show up.  The cops take crackhead guy and stuff him in the car, bag the knife, and ask me if I want to press charges.  I'm just laughing and shit told them that I think he suffered enough and I just wanted to go shopping.   At this point the store manager on duty is out there in the parking lot too and gave me a $25 gift card for my troubles.  Shit, thats like 15 pounds of chicken breast for free. Smiley


So this tool comes knocking on my door this weekend.  I'm like can I help you....and he's all like "are you Kegdrainer on getbig??"
I laugh and say yeah what the fuck do you want?  So I have my S&W 45 a.c.p. tucked in the back of my pants just in case...you never know in my neighborhood when you need something extra.... and this guy asks me to step outside for a minute.  Then I notice there is a car turning around on my cul du sac with Jersey plates.  I ask the guy what the fuck he's doing on my porch and he asks me If I know John DiLauro.
I tell him to go fuck himself and that he's got three seconds to get the fuck of my porch.  Then he takes a swing at me and misses, punching the wall behind me.  Thats when I punched him in the throat and then got behind him and kicked his leg out.  After that his buddy was getting out of the car.  I shove the first douchebag down the steps and pull out my S&W and strongly advise the second douchebag to take his friend and leave.  He didn't take my advice.  He got a jaw full of my foot as he came up the stairs.  At this point my rottie is going nuts at the front door...I thought about letting him out, but decided that it would have been excessive.  I reminded them that my little friend on the other side of the door loves the taste of new jersey so they decided it would be a good idea to get back in their car.  They left in a hurry.

Next time show up in person instead of sending your little friends you bald pussy.
 
 

So yesterday was the NGA Can/Am in Buffalo NY.  Excellent Natural show, about 50 competitors...and I was there at the request of the promoter to work security.  Right about 6pm, when the evening show was starting Joe Lazaro, one of his juicehead buddies and what appeared to be his wife show up.  For those of you who don't know who Joe Lazaro is, he was former Mr. Usa for I think 2 years, but never went pro.  He was involved with EAS for a while.  His father had been a promoter for the  Mr. Buffalo back in the day.  Anyways, Joe is promoting the Mr. Buffalo next week and wanted to get a peek at the setup backstage.  This wasn't going to happen.  He was there to start shit.  He wanted the ticket takers, which were just some college kids from U.B. to let him in, started name dropping, etc...  I happened to be out front when he showed up.  I called the promoter and he told me no way was he letting that guy backstage during the show.  I let Mr. Lazaro know that if he wanted to come in and see the show he would have to buy tickets, but there was no way he was going backstage.  He thought about buying a ticket, but his wife got in his ear and told him that we should just let him in.  After I explained that wasn't going to happen he got snotty and said that's ok, there's going to be a REAL bodybuilding show here next week.  Then i told him that for shit talking about the NGA show he could just leave and he no longer had the option to buy tickets to come in.  Then I told him and his 2 companions that they can leave the building.  Then Lazaro tells me to go fuck myself as he's walking away.  I was polite and said Good luck with your show next week Mr. Lazaro, and he came back towards me, he's like "and what's your fuckin name, who are you"  I pointed at my chest and said read the fuckin nametag asshole.  Then he steps up and tried to get in my face, a little nose to nose, but he was a little short for that.  I told him to give me a reason...and he lost eye contact and looked at his buddy like he wanted help.  I told him to leave before i make him leave and he left.  

PWNED.

I would post a pic of him but i couldn't google one.  He's so washed up at this point even the internet doesn't have a record of him.


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« Reply #1 on: June 25, 2013, 04:58:56 AM »

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Army of One
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« Reply #2 on: June 25, 2013, 05:17:40 AM »



You come across like a submissive bottom with daddy issues
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« Reply #3 on: June 25, 2013, 05:18:56 AM »

You come across like a submissive bottom with daddy issues

Do you want me to be a submissive bottom with daddy issues?
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GigantorX
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« Reply #4 on: June 25, 2013, 05:20:21 AM »

Nice work, ArmyofOne, Kegdrainer was a meltdown a minute on here.

What ever happened to him?
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« Reply #5 on: June 25, 2013, 05:30:44 AM »

Nice work, ArmyofOne, Kegdrainer was a meltdown a minute on here.

What ever happened to him?

Tragic story, apparently he was visiting his aunt, when she happened to have a 2000 pound statue delivered in the wrong part of her garden just as he arrived.
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Army of One
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« Reply #6 on: June 25, 2013, 05:47:30 AM »

Tragic story, apparently he was visiting his aunt, when she happened to have a 2000 pound statue delivered in the wrong part of her garden just as he arrived.

2000 pound stones are just warmup sets for the Keg
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« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2013, 06:16:02 AM »

2000 pound stones are just warmup sets for the Keg

Yes but tragically, while he was carrying the 2000 pound statue under one arm, 4 crackheads came at him with machetes.
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Army of One
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« Reply #8 on: June 25, 2013, 06:22:49 AM »

Yes but tragically, while he was carrying the 2000 pound statue under one arm, 4 crackheads came at him with machetes.

I thought he fought them off and John Dilauro and 15 of his 250 pound buddies ,while the local supermarket manager was giving him shares to the store for protection?
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