Author Topic: Expanding to more of the general population (Read 6514 times)

Coach is Back! · « **on:** June 28, 2013, 05:50:35 PM »

HONEST opinions on the direct mail flyer. Not trying to be foo foo by any means. BTW, The "assessment" typo wasn't me, it was my graphics guy. Luckily they haven't gone out yet.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #1 on:** June 28, 2013, 05:51:54 PM »

No image..fuck.

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #2 on:** June 28, 2013, 05:52:23 PM »

Guaranty?

BikiniSlut · « **Reply #3 on:** June 28, 2013, 05:54:03 PM »

It's cheesy and doesn't catch my eye Coach.

And what does "No Gimmicks, Just Results!" mean?

No gimmicks?

?

And the @ looks odd to me.

doison · « **Reply #4 on:** June 28, 2013, 05:57:15 PM »

Not everyone is good enough to specialize on high performance athletes. Don't beat yourself up over it.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #5 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:00:13 PM »

Quote from: BikiniSlut on June 28, 2013, 05:52:23 PM

Guaranty?

Fuck, I didn't spell that. Even if I did, he should have caught it.

The Abdominal Snoman · « **Reply #6 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:00:39 PM »

It's good you waited till friday to post this Coach...The photoshoppers probably won't see it.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #7 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:02:34 PM »

Quote from: The Abdominal Snoman on June 28, 2013, 06:00:39 PM

It's good you waited till friday to post this Coach...The photoshoppers probably won't see it.

They'll be here. They can smell me post from a 10,000 miles away $:-\$

BDsauce · « **Reply #8 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:03:24 PM »

Don't let Cswol see this....

He will shut it down!

Irongrip400 · « **Reply #9 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:05:48 PM »

Have you thought of doing some local television advertising? Seriously. From what I can remember, you're in good shape, show that shit off, ala John Basedow(is he still around?)

Knooger · « **Reply #10 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:06:13 PM »

Looks like nude female breasts in the pic, I've already rubbed one out to it.

arce1988 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:07:33 PM »

Congrats Coach

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #12 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:07:55 PM »

Quote from: Irongrip400 on June 28, 2013, 06:05:48 PM

Have you thought of doing some local television advertising? Seriously. From what I can remember, you're in good shape, show that shit off, ala John Basedow(is he still around?)

Yes, it's REALLY expensive. Way out of my budget.

Irongrip400 · « **Reply #13 on:** June 28, 2013, 06:12:30 PM »

Quote from: Coach is Back! on June 28, 2013, 06:07:55 PM

Yes, it's REALLY expensive. Way out of my budget.

Really? I had no idea, as I don't advertise that way, what I do is specialized. I figured once you actually shoot it, it would not cost more than a few grand to air it on tv.

Not joking here, but do you have "pro wrestling" schools/wannabes in your area? If so, maybe sponsor one of their events. They have it here, it airs on the local sports network. Maybe advertise there and talk to some of those guys.

biff · « **Reply #14 on:** June 28, 2013, 07:11:30 PM »

Quote from: Coach is Back! on June 28, 2013, 05:50:35 PM

HONEST opinions on the direct mail flyer. Not trying to be foo foo by any means. BTW, The "assessment" typo wasn't me, it was my graphics guy. Luckily they haven't gone out yet.

get rid os the 'Simply' at the start of that sentence, its unnecessary replace the second 'athlete' in that sentence with the word one, in fact remove the sentence

get rid of the 'simply the fastest...' part, maybe the 'turn your body into a machine' bit as well (lthough on its own it may work)...it all makes it look too much like those shady online 'training systems' that pop up

really man, multiple spelling errors, starting two out of the three sentences on it with the same word, way too much in the way of gimmicky catchphrases, pretty poor

contradictory as well, why would i train like an athlete if im not one, are you saying i can become one or just suggesting i can get into shape? maybe add in something along the lines of 'the way the pro's train' or some such

try this:

NO GIMMICKS, JUST RESULTS! (or replace this with the 'you dont have to be an athlete...' sentence if you really like it, or any ONE of the 4 catchphrase's on the flier))

mbf training systems gym

the number #1 choice in personal training

(gym info, free consulting, guarantee etc.)

(maybe add your name and some credentials at the end)

The True Adonis · « **Reply #15 on:** June 28, 2013, 07:14:11 PM »

I personally prefer "GIMMICKS, NO RESULTS", but thats just me.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #16 on:** June 28, 2013, 08:04:19 PM »

Quote from: biff on June 28, 2013, 07:11:30 PM

get rid os the 'Simply' at the start of that sentence, its unnecessary replace the second 'athlete' in that sentence with the word one, in fact remove the sentence

get rid of the 'simply the fastest...' part, maybe the 'turn your body into a machine' bit as well (lthough on its own it may work)...it all makes it look too much like those shady online 'training systems' that pop up

really man, multiple spelling errors, starting two out of the three sentences on it with the same word, way too much in the way of gimmicky catchphrases, pretty poor

contradictory as well, why would i train like an athlete if im not one, are you saying i can become one or just suggesting i can get into shape? maybe add in something along the lines of 'the way the pro's train' or some such

try this:

NO GIMMICKS, JUST RESULTS! (or replace this with the 'you dont have to be an athlete...' sentence if you really like it, or any ONE of the 4 catchphrase's on the flier))

mbf training systems gym

the number #1 choice in personal training

(gym info, free consulting, guarantee etc.)

(maybe add your name and some credentials at the end)

Solid advice. Thank you.

Slik · « **Reply #17 on:** June 28, 2013, 08:32:50 PM »

Just out of curiosity what is your guarantee?

avxo · « **Reply #18 on:** June 28, 2013, 08:37:41 PM »

In addition to the excellent post by biff, I'd suggest two things:

First, tone down the background. There's the stuff on the sides (look like rocks), and the faint images, and the silly blue and red "seals" about money back guarantees and free consults. Way too busy.

Second, tweak the wording. You should have 50% less on there. It's too busy with words and colors and fonts and font weights.

Don't take this the wrong way, but this seems like something that someone taking a first year design course at a local college did after getting access to photoshop for the first time: way overboard.

Simple works best - you want to convey a message that sticks. Not a cornucopia of words and images the people can't remember.

Also, two more things: 100% money back guarantees are silly. Don't offer one. And don't advertise free consults. You are (presumably, I don't know) a professional. Tell people to come in and talk to you as the professional you are, and that you will see how you can help them reach their goals. Don't bother with free - just don't charge a consult fee shen they come in and talk. Just give them a tour, ask them what their goals are, give your opinion, press your business card in their hands, say you hope they will take the first step to a better future and thank them for coming.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #19 on:** June 28, 2013, 10:17:53 PM »

Thanks for the input guys. Im seriously going to take all of this excellent advise into consideration.

G_Thang · « **Reply #20 on:** June 28, 2013, 10:24:44 PM »

Quote from: Coach is Back! on June 28, 2013, 10:17:53 PM

Thanks for the input guys. Im seriously going to take all of this excellent advise into consideration.

put a photo of wackdaddy hitting the heavy bag after "results".

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #21 on:** June 28, 2013, 10:27:43 PM »

Quote from: Slik on June 28, 2013, 08:32:50 PM

Just out of curiosity what is your guarantee?

Basically, we guarantee what ever the desired goal is. Ex; weight loss, 40 times, improved strength , etc. I have them sign an guarantee agreement of what we expect from them.and what they can expect from us. If we fail on our part, we give a full refund. Our minimum commitment is 3 months. On the assessment, we interview them, find out what their goals are, health history, how committed they are, etc. Then we assess them.with a FMS (functional movement screen) to find out any asymmetries they may have to properly design their program. Its about 45-60 min long.

avxo · « **Reply #22 on:** June 28, 2013, 11:02:48 PM »

Quote from: Coach is Back! on June 28, 2013, 10:27:43 PM

Basically, we guarantee what ever the desired goal is. Ex; weight loss, 40 times, improved strength , etc. I have them sign an guarantee agreement of what we expect from them.and what they can expect from us. If we fail on our part, we give a full refund. Our minimum commitment is 3 months. On the assessment, we interview them, find out what their goals are, health history, how committed they are, etc. Then we assess them.with a FMS (functional movement screen) to find out any asymmetries they may have to properly design their program. Its about 45-60 min long.

I think that's a horrible idea and not just because you cannot guarantee results because results are completely out of your control.

It's because it cheapens the service you are offering. Money-back guarantees are fine for the cheap-ass products that Billy Mays peddled on TV - they help override your "do I really need a crappy voice LED lantern?" by making you hope that if the product is really cheap, you can get your money back.

But you are offering (presumably) a serious service and not a crap product. You are (presumably) affording people the benefit of your knowledge and experience, a customized plan and support and access to your gym. You will (presumably) always do your best. So if all that's true why offer a money-back guarantee?

It gets you nothing and seems gimmicky.

Anyways... that's all I have to say on the subject. Good luck!

the trainer · « **Reply #23 on:** June 28, 2013, 11:10:31 PM »

Quote from: Coach is Back! on June 28, 2013, 05:50:35 PM

HONEST opinions on the direct mail flyer. Not trying to be foo foo by any means. BTW, The "assessment" typo wasn't me, it was my graphics guy. Luckily they haven't gone out yet.

hahahaha the coach trying to hustle people with his snake oil, you better be happy that there are dumb people in the world as the old saying goes a fool and his money are soon parted. one other thing take out the money back guarantee because when these fools see no results and want back their money you will be out of business. but if that ever happens i will train you and let you work for me.

Coach is Back! · « **Reply #24 on:** June 28, 2013, 11:50:32 PM »

Quote from: the trainer on June 28, 2013, 11:10:31 PM

hahahaha the coach trying to hustle people with his snake oil, you better be happy that there are dumb people in the world as the old saying goes a fool and his money are soon parted. one other thing take out the money back guarantee because when these fools see no results and want back their money you will be out of business. but if that ever happens i will train you and let you work for me.

Why are you even commenting, little man. You're not even in my world when it comes.to training. lol go away son, ya bother me.