While frolicking in the wilds with a few male companions of the same tendency, Frodo was ambushed by a group of "Black Riders", a not-so-subtle reference to young African-American hooligans. What they prefer "riding" is of course left open to the reader's imagination.
In the encounter, Frodo was stabbed in the guts with a "Morgul blade", which obviously refers to a BBC. "It was said and later seen that the wound would never completely heal, however, as it was as much spiritual as physical." According to the sexual customs of the day, however, being stabbed from behind involuntarily does not constitute a loss of virginity; thus, Frodo managed to hold onto his "Ring".
While recovering from his trauma, Frodo was coerced by Gandalf the Grey, who on many occasions was tempted to take Frodo's virginity himself, to travel to a spiritual site named Mount Doom where his virginity would be taken by a group of the most deserving men of Middle-Earth. While traveling to the site, Boromir attempted to take Frodo's virginity for himself but was forced by his love for Frodo to sacrifice himself in defending him from another group of homeless black men.
Later in the journey, Frodo finally considers giving his virginity voluntarily to his best buddy Sam, but was unfortunately overtaken by a homeless man named Gollum who screamed in delight as he bit off the "finger" of Frodo and finally took his virginity with him. Thus the tragic story concludes. The Lord of the Rings is, indeed, a masterpiece of homoeroticism.
