I've just put it through the bullshit-o-meter
it came back with this
Since I took this new job I've been quickly climbing the corporate ladder.
THEY MOVED ME OFF THE MOP AND ONTO MCFLURRIES
I'm a combination of brains, brawn, and good looks.
A COMBINATION OF 0/0/0
When I walk down the street in a suit and tie chicks walk into lamp posts as they're staring at me.
OFTEN THINKING WHY IS THE MCFLURRIES LAD ONLY WEARING A SUIT AND TIE AND NOTHING ELSE
Anyways this jealous guy at the office
THE DOWNS SYNDROME LAD ON THE MOP
obviously felt threatened by my recent promotion so he started a rumor I'm on steroids,
SORRY NOT STEROIDS..... GERMOLOIDS
I falsified my resume.
I PUT DOWN I KNEW MY FATHER
So it all came to a head Friday when these two office babes
TWO CRACKHEAD I FOUND IN THE GENTS TOILETS
asked me out for drinks at 3pm.
OFFERED TO GIVE ME A BLOW JOB AFTER WORK FOR A FREE MCFLURRY
I was getting ready to leave so I could have a couple of pops and then give these office ho's the pounding they craved so badly,
OR RATHER PAY THEM THE 20 THEY ASKED FOR FOR MY FIRST BLOWJOB
and this guy comes up to me in front of an office full of people and raises his voice accusing me of steroids, accusing me of office politics, saying he's been there five years and the job should have gone to him.
HIS EXACT SPEECH WAS 'OOOH YOU ARE ON ROIDS AND YOU ARE INTO OFFICE POLITICS, I'VE BEEN HERE FIVE YEARS'
So I smile at him then punch him in the solar plexus and watch him crumble in front of everyone. I then took off with the office girls.
I SHIT BRICKS AND RAN AWAY- HE CAME ROUND TO MY HOUSE TO GIVE ME A PASTING BUT I TOLD MUM TO TELL HIM I DIDN'T LIVE THERE
Today I will find out where things stand at work.
I AM WORRIED THE DOWNS LAD WILL DUFF ME UP ON SIGHT.. HELP