Author Topic: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea  (Read 1861 times)

syntaxmachine

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Man Goes to Jail for Catastrophic Diarrhea
http://www.salon.com/2013/07/26/found_guilty_of_the_worst_bowel_movement_ever/

"The 1st U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals last week upheld a conviction against a Maine man who served a seven-day jail sentence for willfully damaging and creating a hazard and nuisance in the federal courthouse in Portland.

...

"As he was being screened by security, he informed the guard that he had to use the bathroom, and then that he was defecating in his pants. The guard escorted him to the restroom 'with Strong intermittently trailing feces on the floor' which he later described as 'liquid and there was pieces in it' that dripped down his leg 'all the way to my ankles.'

...

'I don’t know if you’ve ever spilled spaghetti sauce and there’s meat, you’re trying to get it up as quick as you can. And that’s – basically it was just like this frenetic pace'.

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'The relevant question is not whether he purposefully defecated his pants, but whether he willfully spread his feces all over the bathroom resulting in a nuisance, hazard, and damage,' the majority opinion reads, finding that he did and doubting that the poop could have spread two feet up the wall by accident. The opinion also noted that Strong had a potential motive because he had twice lost a Social Security case in the same courthouse.

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Torruella [the judge authoring the dissenting opinion] delves into the context of the cleaning lady’s use of the term 'smear' in her testimony, noting that while the majority interpreted the word to mean it was intentional, she had actually described it as 'not necessarily like finger smears but just chunks — chunks and smears, pretty much, kind of like chunky peanut butter.'

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #1 on: July 30, 2013, 02:20:50 PM »
f

Howard

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #2 on: July 30, 2013, 02:24:59 PM »
Here is what the correct response to that legal decision:

syntaxmachine

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2013, 02:33:04 PM »
Typical getbiggerian reaction to this thread: ignore the stripping of our liberties and focus on the stripping of clothing items from oiled men.  ::)

Howard

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2013, 02:34:30 PM »
Typical getbiggerian reaction to this thread: ignore the stripping of our liberties and focus on the stripping of clothing items from oiled men.  ::)

Dudes blowing shit out their ass is silly...now cute girls lighting farts , that's serious biz bro.

Rhino

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2013, 02:42:16 PM »
Key stone cops
X

gcb

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #6 on: July 30, 2013, 07:25:25 PM »
what a load of shit

Skeletor

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Re: Civil Liberties Being Stripped: Arrested For Explosive Diarrhea
« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2013, 07:33:28 PM »
Shit..