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Author Topic: Pretend Interview with Craig & Kelly  (Read 1325 times)
Special Ed
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« on: December 27, 2005, 11:16:10 AM »

Can you imagine if Ron interviewed Craig and Kelly? The guy throws more softballs than a batting practice pitcher.

Ron: Craig, did you do it?
CT: No man, I had nothing to do with it.
Ron: So what happened?
CT: All of this crap on the internet and television is complete BS.
Ron: Tell us what happened Craig.
CT: We opened our home to this girl who needed a place to stay. She became addicted to drugs and we felt sorry for her. I felt the right thing to do was to send her home to be with her family for the holidays and to get cleaned up. I bought her a plane ticket and booked a hotel for her. Why would I do that for someone I wanted to kill?
Ron: So Kelly, did you kill her?
KR: No man, I had nothing to do with it.
Ron: So what happened?
KR: All of this crap on the internet and television is complete BS.
Ron: Yeah, I know. That's what I've been saying.
KR: We opened our home and hearts to this girl and now everyone thinks we're monsters.
Ron: Well, why did you guys flee to Boston?
KR: We didn't "flee" anywhere. We went on a cross-country road trip to get some quality time together. I read about this great nail salon in Boston and since Craig's best friend lives there, we decided to visit him for a few days.
Ron: That's what I originally said on Getbig. That you guys were on vacation.
KR: You were exactly right, Ron.
Ron: Thanks. So how did Melissa wind up dead.
KR: She had been very depressed lately.
Ron: So you're saying it was a suicide?
KR: Anything is possible.
Ron: Wow, that's astonishing.
CT: Kelly and I are 100% innocent. Remember brother, it's innocent until proven guilty.
Ron: I know Craig. That's what I keep telling people.
CT: Okay brother, we gotta get back to our cells.
Ron: Thanks for the real story Craig and Kelly.
CT: Peace.
KR: Happy Hannukah Ron.

And there you have it. Another groundbreaking Getbig.com interview. But wait. Let's get Ron's expert post-interview analysis:

As I've been saying, we shouldn't rush to conclusions about the case. Craig and Kelly have always been very nice to me. I've known them for years and have never seen them murder anyone. I've never heard any rumors about them strangling people or burning them either, so I think we all need to be patient and wait for the whole story to emerge. Melissa James is the only one who knows what really happened and she can't tell us. Who knows what really happened. Maybe Melissa overdosed on drugs and fell into one of her nylon pantyhose that was hanging up to dry and caught her neck in it and began choking and then ran down the stairs for help and tripped and fell into the trunk of Kelly's Jaguar and died there. Maybe the Jaguar had been giving them problems (they are notoriously unreliable) and Craig decided to torch the vehicle and had no idea that Melissa had OD'ed, strangled herself on her pantyhose, and fallen into the trunk. Folks, anything is possible. As I've said, I've known Craig and Kelly for many years and they never strangled, burned, or killed me, so I think we need to take them at their word.

Special "Ron" Ed
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Rimbaud
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« Reply #1 on: December 27, 2005, 11:19:25 AM »

Another exclusive by Special "Woodword" Ed. Thanks.
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bigdumbbell
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« Reply #2 on: December 27, 2005, 11:21:35 AM »

240, did you steal special ed's identity too ?   lol
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« Reply #3 on: December 27, 2005, 11:51:00 AM »

Can you imagine if Ron interviewed Craig and Kelly? The guy throws more softballs than a batting practice pitcher.


I'd hit it!!!!!
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onlyme
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« Reply #4 on: December 27, 2005, 12:12:09 PM »

When did she commit suicide?  Was it before or after she tied herself up, or threw herself into the trunk, or lit the car on fire, or drove herself to the middle of the desert.  This was the greatest suicide ever.
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