A true story about yourself....

[Andy Griffin]

Back in the good old days when "middle school" was properly called "junior high" we first got the experience of picking electives...sort of...

All the 7th grade that weren't in band took one unit of music, one of art, and one of either wood shop or home economics.  Back then, most girls took home ec and most boys took wood shop (I realize that today most schools now make all students take all four)...

As a joke, I told several of my friends that I was going to sign up for home ec...I made up a b.s. story about "my cousin up in Maryland" who took home ec and was the only guy in the class, and that because the girls admired his "modern, sensitive" outlook, he got more tail than you could shake a stick at...

Sure enough, these guys told others (despite me "making them promise not to tell anyone about my plan") and that spring, 26 young men found themselves in the first (and likely only) all-male home ec class in the history of our school.  I took wood shop like any heterosexual young man would...and told several girls that these guys were all queers and got myself some unexpected cheerleader tail for good measure.

[Primemuscle]

hahahaha.

Let me hasten to add that I for one, am happy you came back to life. So, how is life after death anyway? This is something I probably should learn about pretty soon, considering my age and all.  

[dr.chimps]

I tossed a few M80's into someons house once through the mail slot in their front door

Your first hate crime?

[Primemuscle]

I kissed a girl during recess when I was in 5th grade. We both wore braces. The wires on our braces somehow got tangled up right when the bell rang. We were late getting back to class. We never kissed again....too traumatic!

[King Shizzo]

Let me hasten to add that I for one, am happy you came back to life. So, how is life after death anyway? This is something I probably should learn about pretty soon, considering my age and all.  

I will not have sex with you prime. Even if I have no legs.

[Andy Griffin]

I kissed a girl during recess when I was in 5th grade. We both wore braces. The wires on our braces somehow got tangled up right when the bell rang. We were late getting back to class. We never kissed again....too traumatic!

you should have told everyone she hurt your schlong blowing you...they would have called her black&decker pecker wrecker until she hung herself

and you call yourself a getbigger   

 

[Primemuscle]

I will not have sex with you prime. Even if I have no legs.

What if I only have one good leg? Will you have sex with me then or do I have to wait until after I finish physical therapy and both legs are working?

[King Shizzo]

What if I only have one good leg? Will you have sex with me then or do I have to wait until after I finish physical therapy and both legs are working?

I there a creep button?

[Primemuscle]

you should have told everyone she hurt your schlong blowing you...they would have called her black&decker pecker wrecker until she hung herself

and you call yourself a getbigger   

 

-Live and learn. Of course I don't think I can pass as a 5th grader these days, so I clearly lost my shot at being a true Getbigger.

[Primemuscle]

I there a creep button?

On my leg?

[Archer77]

-Live and learn. Of course I don't think I can pass on a 5th grader these days, so I clearly lost my shot at being a true Getbigger.

Fixed

[Andy Griffin]

-Live and learn. Of course I don't think I can pass as a 5th grader these days, so I clearly lost my shot at being a true Getbigger.

it's never too late, but it does get harder as one ages

[Primemuscle]

Fixed

Has anyone ever told you that you have a perverse way of thinking?

[Archer77]

Has anyone ever told you that you have a perverse way of thinking?

No

[Primemuscle]

it's never too late, but it does get harder as one ages

Yes, but I don't wear braces anymore.  

[Primemuscle]

No

Well then, consider yourself informed.

[Archer77]

Well then, consider yourself informed.

Of what?

[Primemuscle]

Of what?

Keep up with the program. You are a perverted son of a bitch, that's what.

[Archer77]

Keep up with the program. You are a perverted son of a bitch, that's what.

You're the one who said it.

[Primemuscle]

You're the one who said it.

Perhaps you should reread the post you supposedly "fixed."

[Archer77]

Perhaps you should reread the post you supposedly "fixed."

I read between the lines.  It was pretty obvious that's what you meant. 

[Natural Man]

Hahahahaha!!! When I was about 7/8 my and my best pal did the same thing in a deserted brushland, right next to the main shopping street. First we would set one match, let the bushes burn a little and then stamp it out, then two matches at the same time, let the fire get a little bigger and stamp it out again, and so on until we had used the first box. I grabbed the second box and set the whole thing at once and threw it into a bush (bear in mind the whole field was completely white dry brush lol) so the whole place goes up in under a minute and we run to the bottom of the road into a police station, I run to the front desk and shout "Quick, Quick the wasteground is on fire!!! There were two black kids messing with a lighter and they cycled away on their bikes!!!" the policeman is like "Well done boys, thanks for coming to tell us" I go home and tell my mum the story about the black boys and how we saved the day and she goes "Well that's funny, I just had Kirk's mum on the phone who's window overlooks the wasteground and she said that you and Grant were fucking about with matches and set the whole place on fire!!! You're grounded for the whole summer holidays."  

Six motherfucking weeks.

and not a single fuck was given about two black kids wrongly accused arrested and jailed by the white cops.

[haider]

and not a single fuck was given about two black kids wrongly accused arrested and jailed by the white cops.

Haha. Great thread guys

[38-26-40]

I fucking laughed out loud

Loll...as I'm laughing out loud I read your comment. Haha!

[Nirvana]

During a high school whoreticulture class we had these big plastic barrels full of scrap plants and dirt that had to be emptied in the dumpster after a while. Being the only getbigger in the greenhouse of course I had to do it. I carried this 600lb barrel across the 300 yard parking lot to a dumpster behind the vocational building. The dumpster had just been emptied so there was nothing in it and when I emptied the barrel into the side sliding door I accidentally dropped the barrel in.  I looked around and since there was no one out there I just went dumpster diving to get it out. I was inside that thing for at least a minute banging around trying to pick a barrel up inside a cramped dumpster and finally pushed it out the side door and then fell out head first behind it. when I got up there was a whole auto class of rednecks all turned around staring open mouthed at me like I was a 20-something year old man in a bunny costume with the ass hole ripped out.