Self-Centered/Selfish women

[Danimal77]

Oh wow, she`s a keeper. End of thread.

Yeah well, that shi.t feels good, although her other behavior keeps fuc/king negating it.

[Danimal77]

It's selfish and its very immature. 

That's the thing. Her maturity level is that of a 14 year old girl.

[Danimal77]

she issues nonstop compliments, cause that's what she wants.  She sends them 24/7 because she wants them 24/7.

in person, she wants to be repaid for all the sweet things she sent you, and she's insecure, so when she gets nervous, she does what makes her feel empowered - List her accomplishments, experiences, and pearls of wisdom.

It will never get easier... she's insecure, it's just how she's built.  If you live & die by self-praise like her, then yall will be a good match.  If you're happy just chilling on the couch drinking a glass of wine, enjoying a movie, then yall are probably not a good fit.

Dude, that's some heavy sh. it. And you're so right. When I do compliment her, she floats on air.

You still haven't addressed the sh/it she pulled today though.

[booty]

That's the thing. Her maturity level is that of a 14 year old girl.

Actions speak louder than words.  It's all good that she's sweet etc but she has to show you through actions that she means these words.  Being mature and supportive and understanding about you spending time with your sister instead of her is what she should have done.  All the sweet talk in the world won't make up for her lack of maturity and selfishness.  

[Danimal77]

Actions speak louder than words.  It's all good that she's sweet etc but she has to show you through actions that she means these words.  Being mature and supportive and understanding about you spending time with your sister instead of her is what she should have done.  All the sweet talk in the world won't make up for her lack of maturity and selfishness.  

Truer words have never been spoken. She's a walking contradiction. Her actions keep negating her words. I call her on it. She gets defensive and acts victimized (an immature reaction). I soften up, bordering on being apologetic, she then feels "better" and THEN apologizes for her actions, only to repeat them again (like she did today), NOT even understanding how immature and wrong/selfish it is. I bring it up to her and again, the same cycle begins.

[booty]

Truer words have never been spoken. She's a walking contradiction. Her actions keep negating her words. I call her on it. She gets defensive and acts victimized (an immature reaction). I soften up, bordering on being apologetic, she then feels "better" and THEN apologizes for her actions, only to repeat them again (like she did today), NOT even understanding how immature and wrong/selfish it is. I bring it up to her and again, the same cycle begins.

I can't see it changing or getting better.  You are just not compatiable.  I have done this myself, waited for someone to change or try and teach him and it doesn't work trust me.  They never do.  If this person can't understand what you are trying to tell them, then nothing will be different.  It will become a cycle of frustration and a time waster.  I know that sounds harsh but I am being straight up.

[SF1900]

I agree, but seriously tell me, how difficult is it to stop talking and listen to what the other person has to say, or stop talking and start thinking of questions to ask the other person and then listen to the answer and NOT immediately talk about ourselves? For arguments sake, say she likes me and this behavior of hers is ingrained into her and she's clearly not aware that she does this and naturally slips back into it, because it's all she's known. She now meets a guy who's pointing it out. She's now "becoming" aware. Who's to say that she won't become a better person in time, IF I'm patient?

That said, what she did today was just disgusting and I don't even want to address her, because I'm just so blown away and more importantly, if someone can't even recognize how wrong she was regarding my family, then there's nothing I can say to change that.

Listen, you can come up with a million "WHAT IF" scenarios. You know the old saying, "If the Queen had balls, she would be the king."

Is there a chance she may change if you are patient? Of course there is. However, is there a chance you stay with her, she never changes and you just "wasted" your time? Of course there is.

You have to make a conscious decision based on how you currently feel and what your current needs are. Could she change in 6 months or a year or change in 5 years? Of course. But that is time loss if she doesnt change. Perhaps your time should be spent on a women who is going to meet more of your needs from the initial meeting.

I am going to give you the best piece of advice right now that will settle this. Here it goes:

If you have to come on Getbig for dating advice because shit is that fucked up, you know you're in a shitty situation and should leave.  

[booty]

Listen, you can come up with a million "WHAT IF" scenarios. You know the old saying, "If the Queen had balls, she would be the king."

Is there a chance she may change if you are patient? Of course there is. However, is there a chance you stay with her, she never changes and you just "wasted" your time? Of course there is.

You have to make a conscious decision based on how you currently feel and what your current needs are. Could she change in 6 months or a year or change in 5 years? Of course. But that is time loss if she doesnt change. Perhaps your time should be spent on a women who is going to meet more of your needs from the initial meeting.

I am going to give you the best piece of advice right now that will settle this. Here it goes:

If you have to come on Getbig for dating advice because shit is that fucked up, you know you're in a shitty situation and should leave.  

Another perfect post.

[webcake]

God damn women are annoying sometimes. Kick her ass to the curb.

[38-26-40]

You're annoyed by her actions?

YES...how everything is turned around to be about her.

For her to get mad that you're spending time with your family is a huge red flag. Her reaction was not good. Why settle for someone who is 1/2 nice when you can be with someone who is all around nice? Selfishness is a huge red flag. It leads to so many bad things.

[Danimal77]

YES...how everything is turned around to be about her.

For her to get mad that you're spending time with your family is a huge red flag. Her reaction was not good. Why settle for someone who is 1/2 nice when you can be with someone who is all around nice? Selfishness is a huge red flag. It leads to so many bad things.

Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.

[Rascal full]

I say try communicating to her exactly how you feel in as nice a way as possible. Do everything you can to make her aware of your annoyance but do it in a charming way bro. This girl is insecure and probably been spoilt by her parents hence her behaviour. She obviously really likes you as well so try and salvage before you move on. At least then you won't look back with too much regret.

[38-26-40]

Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.

Never be with someone cuz you feel guilty for them.

Once you decide to read her 1,000 texts, you'll realize more that stepping back was the right thing to do. I'm curious to know just how crazy she got with her words...all with no "sorry"

[webcake]

I say try communicating to her exactly how you feel in as nice a way as possible. Do everything you can to make her aware of your annoyance but do it in a charming way bro. This girl is insecure and probably been spoilt by her parents hence her behaviour. She obviously really likes you as well so try and salvage before you move on. At least then you won't look back with too much regret.

I think that's a good point. Gotta tread that fine line between ending it but doing so in a way that leaves you two on somewhat good/amicable terms.

But get out before it's too late. Time is not your friend in any situation like this.

[38-26-40]

I'm sure she likes you, but if she respected you she wouldn't do what she did.

You can tell her how you feel, talk about ending the relationship, she'll listen, maybe apologize, maybe beg forgiveness, promise it'll never happen again, that she'll change and be just what you want her to be.

But one day.....it'll all happen again! What she has is not curable lol you can't change her.

[webcake]

I'm sure she likes you, but if she respected you she wouldn't do what she did.

You can tell her how you feel, talk about ending the relationship, she'll listen, maybe apologize, maybe beg forgiveness, promise it'll never happen again, that she'll change and be just what you want her to be.

But one day.....it'll all happen again! What she has is not curable lol you can't change her.

I kinda think with broads like this, they are completely oblivious to their actions and they will forever be the ones somehow being hard done by. Always the victim.

[calfzilla]

She seems like a typical woman.

[Army of One]

Use the Lee Priest Method, take a dump on her then she'll have to talk about your shit

[38-26-40]

I kinda think with broads like this, they are completely oblivious to their actions and they will forever be the ones somehow being hard done by. Always the victim.

Playing victim.....HUGE red flag!

[kreator]

...and when you'll be complimenting her on everything for some time, giving her the attention she needs and craves, she'll get bored and find someone else

[Danimal77]

Never be with someone cuz you feel guilty for them.

Once you decide to read her 1,000 texts, you'll realize more that stepping back was the right thing to do. I'm curious to know just how crazy she got with her words...all with no "sorry"

Well, after I stopped replying to her BS texts yesterday, making me feel bad and guilty because I chose to spend time with my family, I can only imagine how she's going to feel when she realizes that I'm not engaging or participating in her crazy selfishness. I have no interest talking with a woman who tells me that being there for my sister in need should be secondary to being there for a girl I just met a few weeks ago. I don't even want to read the texts she sent me last night, or will probably send me today. They'll probably go something like: "well, I guess you don't want to talk. Fine. Goodbye". There will be no epiphany on her part, realizing how wrong she was and how she pushed me away/turned me off. Doing so would be her admitting to herself that she was in the wrong and self-centered people don't have the ability to do that on their own.

[phreak]

Yeah, that prompted me to stop replying/reading her texts for the remainder of the day (still haven't looked at them). What's crazy is that she won't even realize WHY I am so turned off and exactly what she did wrong today (regarding my family). Telling someone who "supposedly" cares about you that you're sister and her kids are going through a rough time at the moment and you need to be there for them, and then getting a reply, well, "what about MY need of having my boyfriend spend time with me?". That was enough for me to say okay man, you can stop feeling guilty now. This is the icing on the cake. Days will go by and she won't understand or recognize the extreme narcissism behind her actions. To her, it's perfectly normal and natural to feel the way she does. Insane as that sounds.

Besides taking the bold step of not reading her texts , is there any other action you have taken? I'd guess not, as the vibe I'm getting from you is that you are still enjoying fucking her a bit too much, and still looking for people to help you rationalize why you should stay with her.

Also, something that (IIRC) booty mentioned in that topic about female marines not being able to do pullups: Why settle for 'okay'? Why not keep looking for the best? Why accept mediocrity? Granted, it took me a while to learn this lesson. But it worked out in the end.



Unless you are fugly, then by all means stick with her.

[phreak]

Well, after I stopped replying to her BS texts yesterday, making me feel bad and guilty because I chose to spend time with my family, I can only imagine how she's going to feel when she realizes that I'm not engaging or participating in her crazy selfishness. I have no interest talking with a woman who tells me that being there for my sister in need should be secondary to being there for a girl I just met a few weeks ago. I don't even want to read the texts she sent me last night, or will probably send me today. They'll probably go something like: "well, I guess you don't want to talk. Fine. Goodbye". There will be no epiphany on her part, realizing how wrong she was and how she pushed me away/turned me off. Doing so would be her admitting to herself that she was in the wrong and self-centered people don't have the ability to do that on their own.

But you are keeping your options with her open by not telling her this to her face?

[booty]

Use the Lee Priest Method, take a dump on her then she'll have to talk about your shit

I mean really?   

[Army of One]

I mean really?   

Case in point, you are talking about it arnt you