i'm of the belief when the police give an order -
you listen, no matter what -
and then, if your rights were violated, you sue, supoena the video, and make a million dollars suing them for screwing you out of your rights.
There are times when it's smart to say "Why don't you go ahead and get the cuffs on me - I don't want to get a bullet in my back removing the gun from my pocket like you're asking" - that's a personal choice. I was happy to put on cuffs when they offered that as an option (the day after 4 cops were shot in a diner in seattle)
But yeah, if a cop violates your rights, don't jump into the middle when a weapon is present and give them a reason to cap you. You lie on the ground and obey - then get a lawyer and a year later, that cop is forced to retire, you get a nice cash settlement to go away, and it was well worth it. We all know cops will fire first - and then make it look however they want. Always STFU and don't give them legit cause to beat you - and look for any way they violate your rights, and take action accordingly.
My experience is that when you're young, cops are dicks to you. The older you are, and as long as youre respectful, they're the same. When you're 38, and they can run your license and see you've never been arrested and had 3 minor tickets in 22 years of driving, they're usually pretty lenient. But everyone I know with records, who smoke pot, who are up to shady shit... they all say cops are dicks 100% of the time.
Plus, cops know they're accountable these days. They know if they're rude, they end up on youtube or the 10 o clock news. And they know their resources are so thin, better to spend their time messing with douchebags.