It ended up in a miscarriage, which isn't that weird when a woman is over 30.
Feel relieved and sad at the same time.
Hope you guys can relate to that.
Thanks for the positive posts...
Your feelings are your own, and no matter what anyone here says, you're entitled to feel the way you feel.
It's quite understandable to feel relieved; but now you have to ask yourself, is she really the right woman for you forever? I'm sure you've done some soul searching these past few weeks, and have come to a conclusion on that subject. Now that the idea of a child has gone, you've learned that you either do want to spend the rest of your life with her, or you don't. You had to have figured this out to some degree...all men do when faced with the proposition of a child. So one silver lining here is that you now have more clarity on the relationship with the woman.
And of course, she has done some soul searching of her own, and has evaluated the rest of her life with you, and your potential as a father. Perhaps she feels you are the one for her...and perhaps now she is thinking otherwise. If you care about her, you should talk to her about it...about her long-term vision for you in her life...whether you want to be there or not. If she feels more distant from you, and you from her, then this can be the easier way (albeit still heartbreaking) way out. But if one of you feels differently, it's still a good way to make a break now.
If you both feel stronger and have bonded through the experience, then you've done something most couples haven't. You've suffered through the loss of a child and gotten stronger through it. That's a rare thing, and you have a rock-strong relationship.
You've probably also evaluated your potential as a father. Don't put those feelings away. Think about them more, and come to terms with them. Evaluate if children are in your future. If not, then know that, and act accordingly and develop relationships that further your vision...don't row against it. Finding a woman who shares your vision about children is critical to long term happiness (I think that goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways).
Whatever the next few weeks turn out, you now have a had a golden opportunity to evaluate yourself, and your relationship with this woman. Don't let that go to waste. Now is the time to make the right moves in your life to take you where you want to go. Use this silver lining to your advantage.
And of course, take some time to search your feelings about your lost child. Whether you're pro life or pro choice, it's never easy losing the potential of a child. Even pro-choice people, I believe, don't have abortions without feeling something remarkably strong.
