The problem with your line of thinking is that anyone who has ever achieved anything in this life has at one point embraced a delusional concept; the idea that they could manifest something in this world that didn't already exist, or they could implement something about themselves or their personality to change themselves for the better.
If someone turned around and said to you: "i'm going to invent the internet" and that technology did not already exist, would you not assume they were being delusional in their thought process? It is vision that has driven all human endeavour and it is not always rational. Our development as a species is not a rational outcome for a series of genetic mutations which somehow produced a being that was self-aware, and capable of love, compassion, and empathy. And has not just survived, but thrived in an otherwise cold and hostile universe in which the chance of even a single cell of a living thing surviving anywhere for more than a nanosecond is microscopically small.
And amidst the heart of this miraculous endeavour, all you can think about is how tough you have it, how hard your life is, how if only you had the opportunities other people had, that you could be successful. You are phenomenally small-minded, you don't have to be the best at something or even good at something to change this world for the better and have a positive impact on the lives of other people. Yet you choose to be bitter and small-minded because you think succumbing to the harshness of your reality is somehow noble.
Let me tell you this, you are only embracing *your* perception of the harshness of reality, and all perception is flawed. And seeing as we have already established you are a small-minded idiot, the fact you have so much faith in your perception of things is worrisome. You're pathetic, but not for the reasons you think you are.
Let me spell it out for you. Your perceptions are the foundation of your reality, if all your perceptions are negative then your reality is negative. But if the converse is true....