1st and foremost as ESF stated I would never take my wife or anyone I didn't consider a pig to a club. Assuming that I was a white trash douche and did such a thing, if a bouncer grabbed my wife I would do the following.
1. Punch him in nose.
2. Sweep the leg.
3. Tear off his slacks.
4. Spit on his cox and jack him off while staring into his eyes. (Of course, no homo)