Life isn't innately enjoyable for me.
I could be in intense pain, I accept that. But I could also be dead.
Sometimes being dead seems like the favourable option to continuing to live.
But I'm trying to embrace your attitude galeniko, your emotional resolve is deeply admirable.It's how you frame things in your own mind that allows you to derive pleasure from an experience after all.
I remember something about Buddha saying a glass of water to a man dying of thirst in the desert tastes like heaven on earth. You compare that to a guy getting up from a couch to get a glass of water from the kitchen sink, and the water tastes no different, but the thirsty guy in the desert derives infinitely more pleasure from it. Ok now I understand you're thinking the guy is relieving his thirst, of course he's going to be happier with the glass of fucking water, but also in a perceptual sense the man in the desert has learned to truly appreciate that glass of water.
What am I saying here? That we need to learn to appreciate the little things. I'm trying to come around to that line of thinking.
In today's society it's easy to get focused on what we have *not*. We're constantly bombarded with images of people more beautiful than we are, with hotter girlfriends, more money, bigger dicks (if you watch as much shemale porn as I do (nah that's a joke, only the n**gers have bigger dicks than i do)), better friends, faster cars, access to higher quality cocaine (I just watch wolf on wall street; damn I was jealous of all the coke they were railing). The point is, the moment you become obsessed with what you do not have, is the moment you stop appreciating what you do have going for you.
And it's an easy trap to fall into, because there is always some cunt who has it better than you do (or appears to).
Anyway, I'm going to stop rambling now. I had a shitty day. 3 weeks off and my first day is a 13 hour shift. Bleep bleep bleep all fucking day. I work on this crappy little island in a tiny hospital (because I'm a shitty doctor), and every nurse here is as ugly as sin. I busted my ass for years, you think the least I would get in compensation is some decent nurse pussy. I've cheered up a bit now anyway.