i want to be so big, babies cry when they get near me.
i want to be so big, grown men commit suicide upon seeing me.
i want to be so big, grizzled combat medics vomit in disgust when in my presence.
i want to be so big, plants die when i walk past them.
i want to be so big, i can dig trenches in the dirt with my hands.
i want to be so big, Mr.T cant throw me at all much less helluva far.
i want to be so big, i cant move my limbs because my muscles have outgrown my joints.
i want to be so big my body collapses in on itself.
i want to be so big that when i die my body swells in the heat and explodes like all those whale carcasses.
i want to be so big that i need 2 additional hearts implanted just to stay alive.
but most of all,
i want to be so big, sarcasm thinks im impressive.