Well, it helps that my wife is a fitness professional and her body is her billboard. She's very dedicated and has improved physique-wise every year since I have known her.
And I (try) to take good care of myself and clean up well.
In short, we are both carnal beings that lust after each other physically and at times go at it savagely while the boy is on the xbox. We aren't perfectly matched in that I want sex daily, and she really likes it 4-5x/week.
We also love each other and there is nobody else I would want in a foxhole with me. Of course, I would be railing the shit out of her in the foxhole and we would be overrun, but that is another story.
Here's my issue then, if I try to draw parallels to yours.
My wife is decidely not a fitness professional. She doesn't even like working out. Thankfully, she's maintained a very slim physique just due to genetics. Which of course I appreciate.
But, as my body fluctuates, she becomes more or less conflicted. When I'm puffy and heavy, she doesn't find me overly attractive. Yet, the prospect of intimacy is met with more favorably, shall we say.
When I'm below 10% BF, give or take, she finds me more attractive, but is more hesistant towards intimacy (in her words, she feels more self-conscious around me). This outweighs the attraction she feels to the abs, which she likes.
Perhaps if she were like your wife, and grew to own her own body, she may change her lens on her body. I certainly tell her how hot I think she is daily. I don't think she believes me though.
So I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. And it's not like when I'm full on 15+ BF that I get it 4-5x/week. It's still 2-3x/month, at best. When I'm lean, that drops to 1-2x/month. The rub is that the extra supplementation I use does not help.
It is what it is. I love her and she's my best friend. I'd like to do her a lot more than I am now, is about my only gripe in our relationship; otherwise, we are perfectly compatible personality wise. We've talked about it a lot and I've tried being nice, being accommodating, all that fun stuff. Doing more chores around the house; doing the cooking; giving more massages; doing more of the stuff she likes in bed instead of what I like. Hasn't paid off. It's more like this is now the new bar I've set and it's the new "maintenance level" of attention I have to pay to her to get what I used to get when I was lazier about things.
I have zero doubts about her faithfulness. I know you guys love to say that's what's going on. Not in this case. Because it's been like this for well over 15 years together...always the same consistency so it's not like things have gone up or down.
She just doesn't have that gear in her. As she approaches menopause in the next decade, this is not going to get any better.
I guess I just take what I can get and learn to live with it. It's not like I'm waking up this year surprised by it all. It's always been this way, and I suppose I can be blamed for settling on this front instead of finding a great woman who also has the same drive I do.
I can't afford a divorce just for the prospect of more intimacy with another partner. That's financially irresponsible. And I wouldn't humiliate a good friend like that. I'm too loyal to good friends, for better or worse.
Wow. I'm a beta with women. This post proves it.
Oh well, I'll go make some money or lift a shit ton of weight and go try and feel alpha somewhere else! LOL! And if not, there's a six pack of beer in the garage fridge that helps me convince myself I'm alpha anyways! LOL!
