My worst one was a botched vasectomy where the freezing did not work as expected. I don't believe I need to go into greater detail here. Just imagine the most outrageous, inhuman, and eye-bulging pain you've ever felt. That's what it was during the surgery. You know that scene in the James Bond movie where Daniel Craig is sitting naked on the chair, and the bad guy hits his nuts repeatedly with that thick knotted rope? That's how I felt. Time three. The pain was so significant I actually froze up and was paralyzed. No crying, no screaming...just pure pain. I now know what will happen to me if I'm ever tortured. I won't cry or scream. I'll just freeze up and clench my teeth until they shatter. It's good for a man to know that about himself, I suppose.
Second worst: post-botched vasectomy, I was walking through a grocery store, pushing the cart with my son in the little carrier section up top. He's facing me (all of about 1 year old). His little feet are dangling and kicking back and forth the way little boys feet do. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, one of his little kicking feet connects squarely with my right nut. This is approximately one month after my botched surgery, and the nerves down there are trying to re-generate, and part of that regeneration is that they go haywire with pain signals at the lightest of touches. I'd gone a solid month without even so much as a vague brush up against the sweets. But my son's little toe caught me square in the chicklets with exacting precision. I dropped like a stone, in the middle of the ice cream aisle. I couldn't cry out, because the pain was so significant. I just collapsed. Moms in the aisle thought I was having a stroke. One dad walked up to me, looked down on me, and said (and I shit you not): "the little guy really got you good on that one pal!". And then he walked away chuckling. I can now laugh about it to this day. That random guy had to have been a getbigger.
