This umpteenth thread topic of SC's reminds me of a funny thing I saw on Reddit recently.
The (pretty good, imo) topic was "What was your worst I'm so fucked moment?" and one person (fatmama923) mentioned how, after working very hard to get into a nursing program, she realized that nursing was not for her after only one hour of doing hospital grunt work. Below is her horrific story:
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/230ys4/what_was_your_worst_im_so_fucked_moment/fatmama923
That's actually why I dropped out of nursing school. My professor in my first class made us do 5 hours of hospital grunt work for part of class credit. I. Was. Done. I didn't even make the first hour. I went the next day and dropped that class, and changed my major the next semester. I'm very thankful to him.
S133py
What did you see in that first hour??
fatmama923
Super morbidly obese patient was brought in complaining of sever abdominal and vaginal pain and high fever.
Doctor began palpating her abdomen and felt a mass in the lower right quadrant. She was too massive to fit in the ultrasound rooms, so they had to do everything there in the ER. The tech tried to do a regular ultrasound, but it wouldn't penetrate the 700lbs (literally) of fat. So she decided she would have to do a transvaginal ultrasound.
The doctor and about 30 nurses lift this tub of lard onto a table and somehow get her into stirupps. This was disgusting enough. Did I mention she was a landed whale? The tech started moving the folds of her thighs and her panniculus out of the way. One nursing student on each side to hold thigh flaps and one to hold stomach flab. I was the unlucky fucker charged with handing her tools. The doctor had left the room, of course. He told us to just holler when we figured out wtf was going on.
So we're yanking on this woman's fat rolls and finally, finally manage to start getting her vagina exposed. Oh. My. God. The smell. This is the most horrifying thing I've ever been exposed to before or since.
Now, I worked for a flower shop growing up. I've been to funeral homes. I've seen bodies in all states of decay. I've hunted. I've fished. My grandparents owned cattle, poultry, and pigs. I've rubbed deer urine all over my face. I would roll in cow shit before I went through this again.
Her inner thighs and the opening of her vagina were weeping this blackish-brown, thick, fluid. My classmates on either side of her promptly started gagging into their masks. The tech started screaming for me to run and get the peppermint oil. I dove across the theatre for the bottle, ran back, and drenched all our masks in the oil. Once we could all breathe again the tech told me to run for the doctor, that this was an emergency.
Ooook. I still have no idea what's going on. I can't see past the mountains of fat and the tech, but I do as I'm told. When I finally return with the doctor, my fellow nursing students were all huddled in the corner with the tech, who looked like she had aged 20 years in the 10 minutes it took me to come back with the doctor.
The doctor walked over and started asking the tech what the hell was going on. Keep in mind this fat tub of lard is still in the background screeching about how she wants to get down, and she's hungry, and when are we letting her go home. Somehow, somewhere this woman had found a man desperate enough to fuck her.
The mass in her abdomen? Was the remnants of a placenta. Her body had started rejecting the pregnancy, but because she was so overweight, she never knew she was pregnant, and never realized she was miscarrying. The baby had begun rotting inside her vaginal cavity and the placenta was just floating detached in her uterus.
They had to take her in for emergency surgery, scrape the remnants of the baby and the placenta out of her body and put her on iv antibiotics. I know she spent at least a week in the hospital. Past that I don't want to know and pray I never find out.
So that's my horror story of why I wimped out of nursing school in one day.
Tl;Dr - super fat lady has baby die in vagina. Smell makes everyone in the theatre want to die and makes me reevaluate my entire life.
