I'm very curious as to what awaits me when/if this happens to me.
I'm not very close to either of my parents. I haven't spoken to dad in a year, and for mom, it's been about 6 months. I could go years without speaking to either of them if they didn't reach out and have on several occasions.
With mom, I loved her, but she changed a lot. She's not the mom who raised me, and I prefer to remember her in that way than as she is today.
With dad, he was abusive and controlling and manipulative throughout my early childhood, so I prefer not to really remember him much. We drifted apart starting in high school and never really recovered. I tried a couple of times to strike up a relationship of value, but he's really not open to talking about himself or his feelings, so there isn't much there for me. He doesn't even know when my kids birthdays are, and he and his wife (my stepmom) refuse to speak to my wife. So there's not a lot of good there worth saving. He's tried too, but neither of us seem to find common ground to connect. He's closer to my brother, which does give me peace. At least he has someone.
That said, they both made me. I wonder if I will simply watch them pass with a curiosity and general detachment, as I've watched them age these past few years. Or will my heart break for what could have been. It's possible I've already gone through that heart break phase, and there isn't much left in me for them. I won't know until I know, I suppose.
For AOO, I wish you the best my friend. I see you care deeply about your parent, and saying good-bye to someone you love forever is harder than words can describe. Let them say their peace and tell them you love them. Be with them to reassure them they will live on in you, as they drift into whatever happens next. Give them of your strength to embolden them to confront whatever may come. Give them peace by helping them know they made your life richer for being a part of it.
