Author Topic: Scared of a family tieing you down?  (Read 16469 times)

ENZO

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Scared of a family tieing you down?
« on: June 11, 2014, 07:23:44 PM »
Does anyone else have this fear? The responsibility, the financial cost, the loss of freedom to do whatever the fuck you please? Less time to focus on your goals?

I'm a much happier and productive person being single and I don't want that to change. The only bitch is the pressure from my family to "settle down" and give them grand kids

I'd prefer being 45, ripped, driving a sports car, owning a condo in the city, pounding new pussy, flourishing my business over being the boring "family man"




haider

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2014, 07:24:42 PM »
your priorities over life change.
follow the arrows

ENZO

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2014, 07:27:25 PM »
your priorities over life change.

Did something change yours?

haider

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #3 on: June 11, 2014, 07:30:39 PM »
Did something change yours?
The Psychology of your future self (6:49 video)
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing

cliffs:
humans are horribly bad at predicting what they will be like a decade from now, because we view things from a present-centered mindset. Just think of how different your priorities / preferences / habits were 10 years ago.
follow the arrows

Nick Danger

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2014, 07:34:17 PM »
That's the truth...from 25 - 35 I changed and from 35 - 45 my priorities have pretty much flipped.

ENZO

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #5 on: June 11, 2014, 07:35:26 PM »
The Psychology of your future self (6:49 video)
http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_you_are_always_changing

cliffs:
humans are horribly bad at predicting what they will be like a decade from now, because we view things from a present-centered mindset. Just think of how different your priorities / preferences / habits were 10 years ago.

Good point..time will tell. It's just I know so many guys who are so much happier post divorce and a lot of guys trapped horrible marriages who constantly sneak around

thulsaDOOM210

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #6 on: June 11, 2014, 07:36:07 PM »
Does anyone else have this fear? The responsibility, the financial cost, the loss of freedom to do whatever the fuck you please? Less time to focus on your goals?

I'm a much happier and productive person being single and I don't want that to change. The only bitch is the pressure from my family to "settle down" and give them grand kids

I'd prefer being 45, ripped, driving a sports car, owning a condo in the city, pounding new pussy, flourishing my business over being the boring "family man"





No Halo?

ENZO

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #7 on: June 11, 2014, 07:39:17 PM »

THEBOSS

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #8 on: June 11, 2014, 07:40:23 PM »
Does anyone else have this fear? The responsibility, the financial cost, the loss of freedom to do whatever the fuck you please? Less time to focus on your goals?

I'm a much happier and productive person being single and I don't want that to change. The only bitch is the pressure from my family to "settle down" and give them grand kids

I'd prefer being 45, ripped, driving a sports car, owning a condo in the city, pounding new pussy, flourishing my business over being the boring "family man"
 ;D  You have it all figured out . You self absorbed prick ! PS   I live exactly the same way  ;)




Tapeworm

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #9 on: June 11, 2014, 09:49:01 PM »
Does anyone else have this fear? The responsibility, the financial cost, the loss of freedom to do whatever the fuck you please? Less time to focus on your goals?
I'm a much happier and productive person being single and I don't want that to change. The only bitch is the pressure from my family to "settle down" and give them grand kids

I'd prefer being 45, ripped, driving a sports car, owning a condo in the city, pounding new pussy, flourishing my business over being the boring "family man"





None of this.  I'd welcome family responsibility, and a good wife wouldn't give me grief if I was pottering around in the workshop, lifting in threadbare underwear, watching movies, and playing with the dog.  If a woman were to have a gripe it'd probably be that I'm too damn boring and she'd wish I'd do something she could object to once in awhile.  God damn, I'm a boring son of a bitch.  I don't fear financial strife since I wouldn't last 2 seconds with a gold digging spendthrift.  Jokes on her.  I don't have any money.

More fear of the misery of a shit relationship.  I had one of those and lemme tell ya it's a justified fear, but I escaped without any anchor babies.  I'm absolutely terrified of having a child with someone who turns out to be a dire cunt, and now you're stuck with this person pecking away at you forever, nevermind the poor kid.  Unfortunately, this means I'm so easily put off that I regard the slightest shadow of an indication that a woman is going to be a PITA as grounds to drop the whole thing.  There's probably nothing wrong with any of them.

wolfrittner

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2014, 09:54:53 PM »
People who don't like the family life want stay in it. Some are surprised how fulfilling it can be. Never know until you try. If you find the right one then its the best thing that can happen. If its not a 100% it will be hell.

240 is Back

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2014, 09:58:33 PM »
I used to dedicate everything to being a bodybuilder.  

Then I turned 30, and realized there were much more important things in life.  

Like powerlifting.

wolfrittner

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2014, 03:11:08 AM »
I used to dedicate everything to being a bodybuilder.  

Then I turned 30, and realized there were much more important things in life.  

Like powerlifting.
Hahahahahaha!

Hypo

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2014, 03:37:34 AM »
I used to think so. But then I think of Ronnie and know that there is always someone doing far worse than me.

DroppingPlates

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2014, 04:02:37 AM »
Your life is over when you have kids, more and more people with kids are admitting that.

Skorp1o

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2014, 04:20:25 AM »
Does anyone else have this fear? The responsibility, the financial cost, the loss of freedom to do whatever the fuck you please? Less time to focus on your goals?

I'm a much happier and productive person being single and I don't want that to change. The only bitch is the pressure from my family to "settle down" and give them grand kids

I'd prefer being 45, ripped, driving a sports car, owning a condo in the city, pounding new pussy, flourishing my business over being the boring "family man"

This has been my life for the past 7 years or so, freedom at a prime age is different from freedom you experience you were 20 yrs old still studying or just starting your ways in life. I always said a man has to experience freedom with full maturity, providing your doing good for yourself.

But having said that I don't see myself being single all my life, and this is changing as we speak, you get tired of empty relationships, I personally have for a few years now, the excitement of having a new girl every time wears off, unless you have a sexual addiction...as a matter of fact, the best sex I ever had has always been in long term relationships...it takes a while to find the right girl compatible sexually for you and train her to your quirks i.e. whether you like your salad tossed via tongue feathering or do you want her to stick in literally....etc (the latter is just one example)

I sometimes miss having a meaningful relationship, those plastic boobed girls you nailed from last weeks club are poor companions....at least this is the case for me in London, lots of fake people and empty souls here hiding behind Louboutins and collagen lips.

The ride has been enjoyable but it's time for me to chuck the towel and let new up coming youngster to have their go.

However I am only willing to do so for the right person.
S

Grape Ape

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #16 on: June 12, 2014, 04:28:19 AM »
However I am only willing to do so for the right person.

This is the truth.

Too many people throw around baseless generalizations (see DPs kids post), but it all really boils down to having the right person for you being the one you're lucky enough to start a family with.  I can easily see how the wrong one can be disastrous, especially if this realization is made AFTER children enter the picture.

But the flipside of it is great if you get it right.  ENZO's post is kind of silly - if you enjoy the things he posted, don't settle down.  There's no right answer - it's all subjective.
Y

Skorp1o

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #17 on: June 12, 2014, 04:29:23 AM »
Your life is over when you have kids, more and more people with kids are admitting that.

Yes, have kids once you lived your life and feel a natural need to care and give lots of love and be able to.

If you don't get that, don't have any...many people get a  little old and automatically have kids when they don't really have it in them....big mistake. Some people are family and children orientated and feel happiest once they've had a kid and more and some people aren't but society follows an automatic pattern.
S

Kim Jong Bob

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #18 on: June 12, 2014, 04:31:27 AM »
I used to dedicate everything to being a bodybuilder.  

Then I turned 30, and realized there were much more important things in life.  

Like powerlifting.
hahahaha

da_vinci

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #19 on: June 12, 2014, 04:36:48 AM »
Parents are prisoners of their kids, whether they like to admit it or not. It's never the same after that, but once a person puts so much effort, money, time, health, nerves, etc... into something, no surprise that "something" becomes a very valuable thing in life, if it wouldn't be so - most would go insane.
 The thing is - none of that matters (in essence). A bunch of ants blindly reproducing and thinking it's of a high importance. Oh geez...

Family. It may be good, it may be bad, depends on a lot of variables. For some it's best to have family, for some - to stay alone, no universal recipe. I've seen plenty of failed marriages/families and it's a very very sad thing, but I've seen very happy families (number of these is much lower, but still) and it's a very nice thing in that case.

Best is to have as much money as possible, then, even if you'll create a family and go through a divorce - much of stuff will still be easier if you're rich. If you're rich - being "alone" will be a choice, but not an inevitability (and the fear of it is overvalued anyway. I have friends who are like 15years older than me and are "alone" for one or another reason and it won't change any time soon, but they are very nice/intelligent people that I love spending time with and I know for sure that I WILL be there for them any time. I invite them to all of the gatherings with my other friends, trips, etc.. They can have my company if they like, it's a pleasure. So.."alone" is relative).

World is changing, and it will change even more, family wise too, it's just that "older" people can't imagine the magnitude of these changes anymore so they stick to the old values. But it's an everchanging life, traditions, cultures.. Life is good, and as long as you don't indulge in narcotics, alcohol, other destructive activities that would suck the "person"out of you - enjoy it, family or no family, you can find plenty of people from different ways of life and share this precious time with them, if you want..

visualizeperfection

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2014, 04:43:36 AM »
Not afraid.

Just currently not interested.

I wouldnt be a good father.

Dr.J

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #21 on: June 12, 2014, 04:46:13 AM »
Not afraid.

Just currently not interested.

I wouldnt be a good father.

Y
Mr. AZ 2003

DroppingPlates

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #22 on: June 12, 2014, 04:47:00 AM »
Yes, have kids once you lived your life and feel a natural need to care and give lots of love and be able to.

If you don't get that, don't have any...many people get a  little old and automatically have kids when they don't really have it in them....big mistake. Some people are family and children orientated and feel happiest once they've had a kid and more and some people aren't but society follows an automatic pattern.

Well said.
To find out if 'you' have right mindset to become a good parent, we need to investigate which qualities a good parent should possess and imagine how our life would look like. Do 'you' have what it takes?
My honest answer is "no, I can't and I won't".

visualizeperfection

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #23 on: June 12, 2014, 04:50:49 AM »
Y

I wouldnt be able to tie myself down to one woman and form a family unit. I feel a strong family unit is very important to properly raise an upstanding child.

I cant see myself being domesticated. I get fidgety at family gatherings, I see most married people neck a bottle of wine to be able to stand being next to their fat wifes/husbands while secretly checking their ashley madison app on their iphone 4s with scratches and kid puke all over it.

When I find a woman that I can fall asleep next to while any part of them is touching me, then ill consider having a family.

da_vinci

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Re: Scared of a family tieing you down?
« Reply #24 on: June 12, 2014, 04:59:39 AM »
Well said.
To find out if 'you' have right mindset to become a good parent, we need to investigate which qualities a good parent should possess and imagine how our life would look like. Do 'you' have what it takes?
My honest answer is "no, I can't and I won't".

Pretty simple I guess.. you have to be a little bit on a "simple" side (like most) and genuinely believe it's a very important "mission". OR - you have to be very intelligent and consciously decide that for you it will be a very important mission you want to accomplish (as maybe you just don't think of anything else to do/have done it all/want that experience, etc..).
 
Most suceesfull marriages (from instinct) are of mediocre people, not very beautiful, not very intelligent, nor very rich.. They doesn't have much options in this life so they better find someone "to stick with". The more "power" you have, the less you care about anything, it becomes about having fun for as much as possible. And if by any chance you get bored of "fun", well then it may be feasible to have a good family.

And once again - it's very relative. Plenty of unhappy family people, plenty of happy rich "fallen" hedonists, and vice versa. It depends... If you have good genes and lots of money - chances are it won't matter much of whatever path you'll choose, you'll still be happier than most.