From reddit
"I'm not going to bore you guys with huge blocks of text so here goes. I been with my boyfriend for five years. He's amazing - great job, family and friends love him, intelligent, attractive, supportive, and sex life is great. One of the important points is that we do not fight at all, and he's quite firm about this - he thinks fighting is a waste of time and for children. I learnt that early on in the relationship and realized it's something I've grown to agree with even though I hated it at first - we always sit down, discuss and talk about issues, and are able to reach compromises.
He's very understanding and patient, and never gets so angry that he has to raise his voice. He's also quite traditional in some aspects too (which is good and bad), although I've been able to talk to him and open his mind up about certain things - I know he hates cheaters and I do trust him, and I know he trusts me too - he never ever restricted me or not let me do anything. Because of these things about him, I'm quite confused by how he's acting.
I've been thinking about wanting to have an open relationship for a while, and it would be fair both ways - we would both get to sleep with other people, as long as we were honest with each other about it and it was purely physical. I know he's quite traditional, but it also never seemed like something he would be that against as he's said things like "I have nothing against girls who like to sleep around, as long as they don't pretend they're innocent/good girl etc." However, I'm not going to pretend that he isn't a monogamous type of guy, because he is, I just figured that maybe I could open his mind to something different!
He's very good in bed but I just wanted to have some other experiences - is that really wrong? I love him and it has nothing to do with just purely physical sex. So a few days ago I decided to bring up the topic with opening up our relationship with him. His only answers were are you joking or are you serious? To which I said I was being serious and wanted to know how he felt about it. He then told me that I could sleep with whoever I wanted to sleep with, and to have a nice life. Then he packed some stuff and left (we share an apartment), and I couldn't really stop him.
Since then he has blocked me from calling him, all his social media and won't speak to me. I don't know where he is staying because his friends refuse to talk to me and I've been crying my eyes out for the past few days. He has removed his relationship status from facebook and sent his friend over to get some of his other stuff, who has told me that he would eventually come to get the rest of things but wouldn't tell me anything else. He said that I've done enough damage and he's ashamed that he thought I would end up married with his friend. He also told me that I would be happier and better off if I didn't pretend to be somebody I wasn't when I started dating again.
If he said he wasn't comfortable with it I would have been okay with that but he never gave me a chance, he literally just broke up with me for bringing it up and he's never been like this before. I've been going to his workplace but haven't been able to see him and I can't get into the department where he works because you need to have clearance, and the receptionists say that he isn't taking any visits from anybody either.
I love him so much and I've done nothing over the past few days except cry and cry and cry and I don't know what to do. I just want to talk to him and hear his voice, and have him forgive me for being so stupid and tell me everything is going to be okay and talk to me like he usually does but I don't understand how he can act like this and never acted like this before. I don't know what to do and I'm going ****ing crazy
The only thing I've been able to get from him is that one of my mutual friends talked to him for a while, but he basically didn't want to talk about it to anybody else. But the friend did ask him if he's really going to throw away five years over something so small, to which my boyfriend apparently said that he's not throwing away anything, he's cutting his losses while he can.
Please help reddit! I really don't know what to do it feels like I'm falling apart - and what's even worse is some of my friends tell me what do you expect etc. .. and the others are there for me but don't know what to do either
Sorry if some things don't make sense, I'm a mess and everything is just coming out as best as I can write it down... if anybdoy needs to me clear anything up I will"
Cliffs:
girl dates guy for 5 years.
says she's happy with his personality, the sex is "amazing".
says he's confident, loving, etc
one night asks him for an open relationship, instead of a monogamous one. wants to bang other dudes and wants him to bang other girls.
