The white hot flashes of the cameras leave purple spots in your eyes
A bead of sweat trickles down your ass crack
It ends up on a busted hemorrhoid. It burns. Your lips pucker
The dark crowd is packed full of Dorito dusted hands, bad breath and flip flops.
The judge calls for a side chest. You hit a most muscular instead. Shit. The crowd boos
This just isn't your night. The guy next to you is a giant. Yep, just hang it up for good.
Then you see him
Your heart skips a beat. Your eyes glisten like a newborn in a crib.
In the midst of the darkness you see a figure. His cigarette glows in the dark as
he slowly walks up to the stage. The camera flashes light up his face.
"Peel"
"What?" you ask him.
"I said peel" he says after blowing a long and delicious blue ring of smoke at your thong.
You pull your sweat soaked thong down to your ankles and the crown erupts like Pompeii.
The judge exclaims "OH MY GOD HAVE MERCY!" as he rips open his shirt, the buttons explode and fly everywhere. He takes the gold medal and sticks it in his teeth and crawls on stage like a dog and presents it to you. You stage dive into the howling crowd, your balls landing on somebodies face. A star is born.
The stranger flicks his cigarette, grins, then mumbles to himself as he makes his way to the exit: "My job here is done".
