I don't take kindly to men telling me I should shave my beard 
As for the tan, well I started tanning again today was even considering buying some MT2 to look Indian like yourself!
I can handle phone calls so much better since turning Indian, however my consumption of beef is still high. It is so cheap, €1.50/day max for a good dose.
You had a beard years ago, God knows Sev has reminded us, but does it not piss you off hipsters have stolen beards as a fashion? I'm so fucking conservative - I've worn same shorts and hoodie everyday for last 4 months, that soon I will be hipster fodder I am so outdated. When I scored first girl aged 12 (I was 12) I wore jeans and tight white t shirt with white trainers. You saw what I still wear out aged 30 - jeans and tight white t shirt with white trainers.
It is rebellious now to dress normal and not have tattoos and a normal haircut and be clean shaven.