Van Damme takes the mentor role, Dave Batista Tong Po duties and Alain Moussi plays Kurt Sloane, van dammes original character.
He's definitely in shape for this
http://www.comingsoon.net/movies/news/387781-jean-claude-van-damme-to-return-for-kickboxer-reboot
ROTFLMAO.
Don't get me wrong: I loved Van Damme. He and Bolo Yeung/Chang Tse were easily some of my early motives to pursue bodybuilding (well, apart from Arnold, but that's typical).
But why remake what's already a classic, even if it's cheesy as fuck? Those surrealistic, spooky moments in which Kurt sensed the ghosts fighting would be hard to recapture. I also doubt he'll be able to pull off the dead-pan sarcasm of the original mentor:
"Ready?"
"Ya, aahm ready!"
*little old Thailander drops a coconut or whatever.*
*said coco nails Van Damme's character square in the midsection. He cries out in pain.*
Little old mentor dryly notes, "Guess not."
Will they try to reproduce that classic scene in which Van Damme's character gets drunk in that bamboo bar and starts "dancing," whatwith the two toothless Asian girls and his hands-clapping moves?
And what about when Tong Po tells him Me Ling is "goooood fuck!"?
Remakes fucking SUCK,
bigger than I do when I go to my boyfriend anytime he won't force me out to fuck his ugly German au pair instead. (It's his own loss. At 82, she just doesn't have the flexibility she used to) plain and simple. What happened to Hollywood after about 1992 or so?
