Bahahaha, I probably come off as such a douchebag to you, lol! It's not like a gel, it's a type of molding paste you put in shortish hair to kinda mess it up/spike it. My 3 ears of major hair loss was during the time with my x. I know it was because of her....
You do not seem like a douchebag at all. I did silly stuff to try and preserve my crowning glory when it started falling out. In the end, nothing worked. I was left with only a couple of choices. I could shave what was left off, I could try an ever diminishing combover and I could cover up the "problem" with a wig or a toupee.
I have issues with any type of fakery. This ultimately made the best decision for me, which was to cut what was left so short that it made no difference whether I had hair or not. In fairness to others facing this issue, I am fortunate to have a nicely shaped head. Had this not been the case, I might have chosen a different remedy.