Another Alex bid for relevance. 
Boy, do you dream of Alex? You constantly bring him up like some 14 year old cheerleader, face full of oxy 5, NKOTB bookbag having a boy crush. I deal with your types on a daily basis. You let someone you think is better looking then you, having better hair, making more money, having a better vehicle, effect your life in everything you do. You can't shower without thinking about him, you can't have sexual relations without thinking of him, you can't even masterbate without thinking of him. Sad.
Why the "Dr" in front of that ridiculous adolescent name? Surely you aren't a doctor of anything. In fact I'll show you my degrees if you show me yours. You're a failure in life, deal with it. The only thing you have probably have is some little piece of paper printed on an 1994 laserjet printer from ITT Tech. Or, maybe you took the Sally Struthers class and majored in TV/VCR repair?
This is tough love for you. You are being incredible negative and need to reevaluate what your goals in life are. Be more positive in the future.
STAY POSITVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1