"Die Wahrheit," said Nietzsche, "ist hässlich." Bestriding the narrow world with colossal, pendulous cojones, The Ugly enjoins us to see that life is no bed of rose-colored thongs; and though his lessons be severe, yet do they teach the truth. For beauty is sought by womanly hearts; let men stare at the dread horror of existence without trepidation and exult in its repulsive spectacle. So, here's to The Ugly, that great Überbandito, connoisseur of wayward twat, and astute observer of the human condition. All men await the noose, may his be concomitantly fellatic.