Im a similar age, and some things lately are really on my mind. I feel like i havnt done shit with my life thats important. I have a nice job, nice car, nice house (much nicer than basically anyone my age), hot wife, nice dogs, no kids...but it feels shallow and empty the older i get. College was paid for me, i didnt study hard or even work hard at it, i just coasted. And then 30 hit and BAM, i got nothing to show for it but basic surface
Level materialistic middle class accomplishments.
So lately ive been tinkering with thoughts of joining the army reserve, going back to school, volunteering at an old folks home, etc etc. just things to try and make a difference. I dont give a shit about what people think of me, i dont do facebook like all my peers do, i have very few real friends, people dont call me to hang out anymore which doesnt bother me. I feel like i want to be great and a great person i just wasted too many years being selfish and annoying and just your average everyday american consumer asshole
It just shows how dofferent people may feel. I'm living a similar life just no wife and... I'm lovin' it. I understand that whatever I do it's about the survival of my genes (yet I'm not sure whether I will have kids sometime tho'), everything else is really just a noise. Volunteering, etc... it's one of the way to feel "happy" (for a while), feel like life has a meaning. I've accepted that it does not. I've accepted that I may feel down some days, and I may feel up, whatever the day is - it is good as long as I'm strong and kickin' it. Now that's what's important for me - to stay strong for as long as possible while I'm alive. By strong I don't mean only physically, but mentally, financially and every other way of strong one could imagine. Because... only when a person is strong - there's a chance to sometimes feel happy too. The stronger you are - the more chances will be to feel happy. I honstely don't care much about the rest of the world aside my relatives, yet sometimes I do good for others, because yes.. it feels good to be able to help these who are weaker (and to to feel stronger than they are at the same time).
Most, I repeat - most people you know around you will start to go insane/crazy in one way or another after some time. You may not know it, but their relatives will know for sure, and obviously you can be one of them either (or me). Unless... you will understand that there's no point in worrying about anything too much, there's no point of overanalying life either (because you will come to a conclusion that there's not much to analyze... and that will make you feel sad. Then only way to not feel sad is to stop caring about that and just sit tightly in this rollercoaster).
Goals... have goals, one reached - have another, go for it, just keep yourself busy, never stop until your body will force you to. Helping others may be a goal too, why not.
Overall - life made me realize early on that it's basically a funny absurd, sometimes violent absurd which ends in a death. Enjoy while it lasts, it sounds you have it better than most - enjoy that too. Just have fun, because nothing really matters at the end, we are just participants of a complex manifestation of physical laws. A replicators which are competing for survival. Each and every gene in you wants to survive and cooperate with each other to accomplish that (to reproduce). There seems to be no point, no meaning for that, just how it is, so there's no need to worry when you think long enough. If you think it's "important"" - well have kids and all the consequences, good or bad, if not - just have fun while you can and die peacefully. Pretty much it.
