Did any of you have a very strict father when growing up?

[io856]

Well, imaging that you're a "real" person.

1 Cut off the past - looking back will kill you
2 yoga, therapy, sports
3 take women as a whole(bee hive) and forget sex - women are a social issue and if the social issue is being resolved sex will materialize

this

[Primemuscle]

Didn't know my father very well. The last time I saw him, I think I was seven years old. He and my mom parted ways when I was five.

For the most part, my stepdad was like a buddy. I can remember two times when I really pissed him off. One of those times he tried to choke me. I kneed him in his nuts which got him off me. The other time he slugged me for throwing a hammer at him. Neither of my parents were strict. I was pretty much a spoiled brat growing up. Real life was a rude awakening.

I cannot offer any insight on how to overcome overly strict parents, never having had to deal with that.

[Radical Plato]

Didn't know my father very well. The last time I saw him, I think I was seven years old. He and my mom parted ways when I was five.

For the most part, my stepdad was like a buddy. I can remember two times when I really pissed him off. One of those times he tried to choke me. I kneed him in his nuts which got him off me. The other time he slugged me for throwing a hammer at him. Neither of my parents were strict. I was pretty much a spoiled brat growing up. Real life was a rude awakening.

I cannot offer any insight on how to overcome overly strict parents, never having had to deal with that.

What was your Mum like? Why did you throw a hammer at your stepdad?

[HTexan]

Didn't know my father very well. The last time I saw him, I think I was seven years old. He and my mom parted ways when I was five.

For the most part, my stepdad was like a buddy. I can remember two times when I really pissed him off. One of those times he tried to choke me. I kneed him in his nuts which got him off me. The other time he slugged me for throwing a hammer at him. Neither of my parents were strict. I was pretty much a spoiled brat growing up. Real life was a rude awakening.

I cannot offer any insight on how to overcome overly strict parents, never having had to deal with that.

Wait. You threw a hammer at your stepdad? Damn, my dad would have killed me.

[Primemuscle]

Wait. You threw a hammer at your stepdad? Damn, my dad would have killed me.

I think he wanted to kill me. My mom intervened. He was afraid of her.

Just so you know, I didn't aim to hit him, just to make a point that he'd pissed me off. I wasn't crazy. He was the money maker in our family.

[thebrink]

Didn't know my father very well. The last time I saw him, I think I was seven years old. He and my mom parted ways when I was five.

For the most part, my stepdad was like a buddy. I can remember two times when I really pissed him off. One of those times he tried to choke me. I kneed him in his nuts which got him off me. The other time he slugged me for throwing a hammer at him. Neither of my parents were strict. I was pretty much a spoiled brat growing up. Real life was a rude awakening.

I cannot offer any insight on how to overcome overly strict parents, never having had to deal with that.

Are you black?

[guyincognito]

Thanks for the kind words guyincognito.
By the way, I do remember books thrown at me too, but because I didn't study a lot, also I regret saying that but I knew a couple of kids in high school that their father had died prematurely, like yours and I remember feeling kind of envious that they didn't have a dad, which is pretty messed up now that I think about it.

I don't think it is uncommon. On a serious note, I used to fantasize about my dad dying when I was a kid because he was an alcoholic and aggressive towards my mom. Just makes for a shitty, unsafe enviroment. Though many had it worse than me.

[Radical Plato]

Seems like there are lots of damaged getbiggers in this thread due to shitty parents.  I recommend reading some Alice Miller, fascinating stuff.  She believes that the shitty way we are treated by parents when younger has a big impact later on.  So if you find yourself a moody, irritable angry bastard, it might be worth investigating.

http://www.alice-miller.com/en/

[Tedim]

Didn't read....


But I'm sure it's a tear filled beta bitch fest...

[Radical Plato]

Didn't read....


But I'm sure it's a tear filled beta bitch fest...

Hi Dad 

[Tedim]

Hi Dad 

If you're under 25....never know.

[guyincognito]

Thanks, Plato, but i'm not taking advice from a broad. Prefer to suffer in silence.

[Radical Plato]

Thanks, Plato, but i'm not taking advice from a broad. Prefer to suffer in silence.

Sorry to hear that.  It was her work that helped me tremendously.  I had a very abusive upbringing that impacted deeply on my young adult life and it was discovering Alice Miller and her work and finding a therapist who was familiar with her work that changed my life tremendously.  It sounds as if you have nothing to lose.  I recommend you start with her work "The Body Never Lies" or "The Truth Will Set You Free".  You can probably pick these books up on Amazon or EBAY.

And maybe you dissing the whole female gender thing is a symptom of childhood abuse.  It isn't healthy to turn your personal experiences with women into a broad generalizations like that.  I know I do this when I am trolling, but I am usually taking the piss.  There are many good women out there with much to offer.  Anyway, please consider what I am saying to you.

[guyincognito]

Sorry to hear that.  It was her work that helped me tremendously.  I had a very abusive upbringing that impacted deeply on my young adult life and it was discovering Alice Miller and her work and finding a therapist who was familiar with her work that changed my life tremendously.  It sounds as if you have nothing to lose.  I recommend you start with her work "The Body Never Lies" or "The Truth Will Set You Free".  You can probably pick these books up on Amazon or EBAY.

And maybe you dissing the whole female gender thing is a symptom of childhood abuse.  It isn't healthy to turn your personal experiences with women into a broad generalizations like that.  I know I do this when I am trolling, but I am usually taking the piss.  There are many good women out there with much to offer.  Anyway, please consider what I am saying to you.

Yeah, I was trolling. Sorry.

Maybe I will check out these books. They seem good. Thanks for the tip.

[Primemuscle]

Are you black?

I am a WASP. That is about a white as you can get. Why?

[HTexan]

I am a WASP. That is about a white as you can get. Why?

you're Baptist?

[Primemuscle]

you're Baptist?

White Anglo-Saxon Protestant-Episcopal (WASP)

SAR (Sons of the American Revolution)


   

[guyincognito]

What is Episcopal?

[BIG ACH]

Yes, I had a very very strict father.  Very no nonsense, very alpha male, but he also spoiled me a lot, so I guess it balances out.

[HTexan]

What is Episcopal?

Catholic Lite

[guyincognito]

Catholic Lite

I see. Thanks!

[Radical Plato]

Yes, I had a very very strict father.  Very no nonsense, very alpha male, but he also spoiled me a lot, so I guess it balances out.

That explains why you are the way you are.  

And no, it doesn't balance out, in fact it sounds incredibly unbalanced and inconsistent.  You rationalising it is common as children struggle to assess their parents objectively due to their natural tendency to love their parents unconditionally and the societal and religious mandate to honor thy parents.  Why should you honor people who abuse and mistreat you when you are small, powerless and the most vulnerable you will ever be in your life.  Unfortunately many adults do this, to their own physical and psychological detriment.  It sounds like you could benefit from the works of Alice Miller and an enlightened witness.  JMO, you can take or leave it.

http://www.alice-miller.com/en/

[Primemuscle]

Catholic Lite

Pretty much.