Comedy Gold
On Lennox Lewis"I'm from Brownsville Brooklyn and I'm not afraid of nobody. In the ring or out the ring, if they gotta gun or a knife, and I'll show him (Lennox Lewis) that too.....Im just ready to get it on and CRUSH this guy's SKULL. Show him who the real world champion is...the best fighter in the era."
I was gonna rip his heart out,
On Evander Holyfield[To a male reporter] "Biting Mr. Holyfield's ear off and all that stuff?" Reporter: "You don't care about all that?" Tyson: "No, fuck Holyfield!"
"Listen, Holyfield's not the tough warrior everyone says he is! He got little nicks on his ears and he quit! I got an..I got one eye! I got one eye! He's not impaired! He got ears! I got one eye! Big deal! He takes one I got another one! I'm ready to fight him right now!" *after biting Holyfield's ear
On James "Buster" DouglasReporter: "Do you think there's a chance that you'll lose to Buster Douglas?" Tyson: "Perhaps if I chop off my arms."
On Razor Ruddock"Everyone knows you're a transvestite and you're in love with me."
"I can't wait til the 28th....I'm gonna make you my girlfriend."
"You're sweet. I'm gonna make sure you kiss me good with those big lips."
"March 16th, Mike Tyson [vs.] Razor Ruddock, Razor Ruddock dies. If he doesn't die, it doesn't count. If he's not dead, it doesn't count."
On Tyrell BiggsTyson on Tyrell Biggs' complaining to him about low blows "Low blows? Low blows? Huh! guy you're fittin' to die!"
"I was hittin' him with body punches and I hurt him. Actually he was cryin' in there, makin' woman gestures like," (imitates distraught female) "I can't..define it, but I knew he was breakin' down soon"
On Francois Botha"I think I'll take a bath in his blood."
On His Childhood"What used to bother me was when I was a kid, people used to take things from me. I used to wear glasses and, I don't believe the guy did this..He took the milk, you always had milk when you was a kid. He took the milk and he took my glasses..and I wanted to get my glasses, but I was scared to fight the guy for some reason..because he talked tough. But something that he did was so cruel. I was devastated, but he took my glasses, fold them up. There was a big truck there; I think it was a lunch truck. He took the gas tank, opened [it] up, and put my glasses in the gas! Dropped it where you put the gas, turned it back, and there was no way I could ever get my glasses. And at that time I couldn't believe someone could be that cruel to do that."
"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand - he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."
"But I don't feel the urge to steal anymore. I don't need to, I'm established. God, I hate that word, established. People who call themselves established -- put them on these streets for five minutes, let's see how established they are. There's Lincoln Terrace Park. We'd see dead whores there in the morning. What memories. Good memories. Beautiful memories. I was happier then. I had pure fun here. Every day I was living on the edge. I was wild and free. I love coming back. Do you understand? When I'm here, I feel like a warrior."
On Boxing"Other than boxing, everything is so boring."
"When I fight someone, I want to break his will. I want to take his manhood. I want to rip out his heart and show it to him."
"I wanted to hit him in the nose one more time so that the bone could went up into his brain, I wanted it to go up into his brain. Because I always thought about that punch, I always listened to the doctors on television and ask my friends, and they say when the nose go into the brain, the consequence of him gettin' up right away is...out of the question."
"Without discipline, no matter how good you are, you are nothing!"
"I just want them to keep bringing guys on and I'm going to strip them of their health. I bring pain, a lot of pain."
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating; I could feel his muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
On His FamilyMike, on his mother who died in 1982: "I never saw my mother happy with me and proud of me for doing something: She only knew me as being a wild kid running the streets, coming home with new clothes that she knew I didn't pay for. I never got a chance to talk to her or know about her. Professionally, it has no effect, but it's crushing emotionally and personally."
On the Media"I'm not sayin' I been in jail, I'm a hardcore. Naw, 'cus there's a bunch of homosexuals, a bunch of fags, a bunch of weak people in jail. And the reason why people go to jail is because they don't have their shit in check, and they can't manage their lives. So that don't mean you're a bad guy 'cus you're in jail. It means you're pretty much a dysfunctional, weak individual, and you can't manage your life outside in the world."
Reporter: "Some of your tactics have come into question in your recent fights. Do you feel any need to showcase your boxing talent in this fight(Tyson vs.Golota)" Tyson: " Listen, right..I've never did anything he hasn't done in the ring. So ask him that question. Well, ask him, white boy."
"I just seem to keep buying more and more Bentleys."
"If I take this camera and put it in your face for 20 years, I don't know what you might be. You might be a homosexual if I put that camera on you since you were 13 years old. I've been on that camera since I was 13 years old."
"Put your mother in a straight-jacket you punk ass white boy. Come here and tell me that, I'll fuck you in your ass you punk white boy. You homo. You can't touch me, you're not man enough. I'll eat your asshole alive, you bitch. C'mon anybody in here can't fuck with this. This is the ultimate, man. Fuck you, you ho. Come and say it to my face.... I'll fuck you in the ass in front of everybody. You bitch.... come on, you bitch. You're scared coward, you're not man enough to fuck with me. You can't last two minutes in my world, bitch. Look at you scared now, you ho.... scared like a little white pussy. Scared of the real man. I'll fuck you 'til you love me, homo!" [After being told by a spectator that he should be put in a straight-jacket] Rumor has it that person was none other than Scoop Malinowski.
On Religion"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."
"Money is my God. If you think God will help you then quit your job and see how much he cares."
On Himself"the baddest man on the planet"
"You know I'm many things. Yeah I'm a convicted rapist, I'm a hell raiser, I'm a father, a loving father, I'm a semi-good husband. You know what I mean?"
I want to fight, fight, fight and destruct the world."
"I may like fornicating more than other people. It's just who I am. I sacrifice so much of my life, can I at least get laid? Know what I mean? I been robbed of most of my money, can I at least get a blow job?"
"When I got in trouble in that New York hotel (in a 2003 scuffle), I just prayed, 'Let me get locked up with the Caucasian brothers in the Midwest or the gang-bangers in the West.' I don't want to get locked up in New York."
"There's nobody that I fear in my life but God."
"The people that you hear say derogatory things about me, do they say it in front of me, one on one? Without a camera? Without police? Without bodyguards? ... It's just because they don't have the guts. They don't have the intestinal fortitude, the constitution..."
"The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone's not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate in.""I'm not Mother Teresa. But I'm also not Charles Manson!"
"Fear is your best friend or your worst enemy. It's like fire. If you can control it, it can cook for you; it can heat your house. If you can't control it, it will burn everything around you and destroy you. If you can control your fear, it makes you more alert, like a deer coming across the lawn."
Reporter: "You're no longer living in a mansion. What's that like for you? Tyson: " I don't know...That doesn't define a man. What defines a man is someone who has failed time after time again and has the same enthusiasm as a winner."
"I love to hit people. I love to. Most celebrities are afraid someone's going to attack them. I want someone to attack me. No weapons. Just me and him. I like to beat men and beat them bad.""I need some discipline over myself; I need some emotional intelligence."
"When I fight someone, I want to break his will. I want to take his manhood. I want to rip out his heart and show it to him."
"A lot of young women don't know what they're getting themselves into. A lot of them think it's fun, a game. . . . But they truly don't know what they're into when they lock themselves into a room and engage in sex with a man who knows how to handle a woman."*In a private letter to ESPN journalist Jim Gray during Tyson's incarceration* "Mr. Gray, I will never admit to raping this woman, even if it lessens my time because I just didn't do it and I'm not gonna say I did. However, there have been five to seven other things throughout the course of my life that I have done which are far worse than that of which I've been accused so I feel I'm in the right place."
"I'm a man who has made too many mistakes to be known for his wisdom." - improvised by Tyson in the movie Black and White
"I paid a worker at New York's zoo to re-open it just for me and Robin. When we got to the gorilla cage there was one big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox. He declined."On His Mental Health"I don't know if I'm mentally sick, but I have episodes sometimes. I'm a depressant kind of dude. I have episodes, and I'm human. But no one cares about my health as a human because sometimes I'm in my episodes when I'm at work."
"Well, [contemplating suicide] goes through everyone's mind, I'm sure. And if it doesn't I really must be crazy."
Reporter: "They determined that you were suffering from depression, low self-esteem, and that you had problems with anger management. How have you tried to address those problems?" Tyson: "That's all they said was wrong with me?"
"I don't react to a tragic happening any more. I took so many bad things as a kid and some people think I don't care about anything. It's just too hard for me to get emotional. I can't cry no more."
Misc."I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating bananas."
"It's just tough being a black and it's tough being a bad black."
After being released from his jail cell for posession of cocaine on December 29 2006, "Good morning, Arizona."
(after losing to Lennox Lewis a reporter asks a battered Tyson) "Where do you go from here Mike?" Tyson: "I (d)on't know, man, I might just fade into Bolivian, you know what I mean?"
"I have some pain I'm gonna have for the rest of my life. So every now and then I kick your fucking ass."
"I'd give you my last dollar. Don King and all those guys didn't have to steal my money. I guess I wasn't giving it to them fast enough."
(Etienne post-fight interview with Showtime Championship Boxing's Jim Gray)Jim Gray: 'Mike were you really sick this week? What was the problem?' Tyson: "I broke my back."'What do you mean by that?' Tyson: "My back is broken." 'What part, a vertebrae or a portion?' Tyson: "No. Spinal." 'You did that in sparring?' "No i did it by a motorcycle accident the doctors discovered..I was doin my situps, 2500 a day with my 20 pound weight and one day i couldn't move anymore and i just axed the doctor what's wrong and he said um believe it or not your back is broken slightly"
"I’m a big fan of children’s hospitals."
"The thing that has the biggest impact on a person is the books he reads and the people he meets. That's what brothers and sisters should know about reading. Know how to interpret reading. It's good to know how to read, but it's dangerous to know how to read and not how to interpret what you're reading."
"Every time there's a revolution it comes from somebody reading a book about revolution."
"I guess I'm gonna fade into Bolivian"
if you dont like what i say, then why dont you turn off your station
If you are not the best I don't know you.
