Re: having kids....

[da_vinci]

Because you know a few like this it must be true for most, right?

And Howard is agreeing  with you lockstep,  so draw your own conclusions from that.

From what I've red here - Howard is pretty damn lucky fella with not much worries in life. Quite a contrary from most guys his age that I know. I think he's doing something right, no bitterness, no anger, he actually sounds happier than me and I'm pretty damn happy with my life, that tells something too.

[Grape Ape]

From what I've red here - Howard is pretty damn lucky fella with not much worries in life. Quite a contrary from most guys his age that I know. I think he's doing something right, no bitterness, no anger, he actually sounds happier than me and I'm pretty damn happy with my life, that tells something too.

I get that.  It's a sample size of TWO, but fine.  No argument there.

But there's plenty of happy people with families as well.  For you to categorize those who find happiness in that context as either less dynamic, intelligent, etc..is just wrong.  It may not be your intent, but a lot of your stuff reads as if you have to convince yourself that for people to be happy with a wife and kids, they must have certain shortcomings as men.

It's like those who can't just enjoy their Playstation, they have to believe the XBox sucks too.

[BBSSchlemiel]

From what I've red here - Howard is pretty damn lucky fella with not much worries in life. Quite a contrary from most guys his age that I know. I think he's doing something right, no bitterness, no anger, he actually sounds happier than me and I'm pretty damn happy with my life, that tells something too.

Do you really know this many middled age men who are bitter and angry. I am not beefing with you in this post, seriously. It just seems like you really have encountered THAT MANY embittered people. Have you really not met any middle class men with kids and a wife and an ordinary job who are NOT miserable? Perhaps you and I meet very different people considering I know quite a few men in their 40's and 50's who have hobbies, are intelligent, make decent livings, are decent parents, and so on, who are not running around angry, complaining, and worn down.

Take my close friend who is a former pro competitor who now has a one year old son. He's 41 years old. He is smart, has diverse interests, has a decent job (but not rich), still loves exercising (mores to keep in shape these days and for fun), and has close friends and loves his wife and is very dedicated to his kid. Are such people that rare?

I actually know of quite a few married guys with kids, wives, and high paying careers (not stinking rich, but VERY good) in their 50's who are still very physically active and happy.

[da_vinci]

I get that.  It's a sample size of TWO, but fine.  No argument there.

But there's plenty of happy people with families as well.  For you to categorize those who find happiness in that context as either less dynamic, intelligent, etc..is just wrong.  It may not be your intent, but a lot of your stuff reads as if you have to convince yourself that for people to be happy with a wife and kids, they must have certain shortcomings as men.

It's like those who can't just enjoy their Playstation, they have to believe the XBox sucks too.

As I've stated - only my SUBJECTIVE experience, I may be wrong. However - kids take lots of time, on that could agree most. I doubt a lot I would be able to manage three work projects, workout like a madman and travel/have plenty of other fun, post on GETBIG (!) AND be a responsible/good parent at the same time.

[Grape Ape]

As I've stated - only my SUBJECTIVE experience, I may be wrong. However - kids take lots of time, on that could agree most. I doubt a lot I would be able to manage three work projects, workout like a madman and travel/have plenty of other fun, post on GETBIG (!) AND be a responsible/good parent at the same time.

I manage to..

Maybe I'm just exceptional.   

But remember the time commitment varies depending on the age of the children.

[da_vinci]

Do you really know this many middled age men who are bitter and angry. I am not beefing with you in this post, seriously. It just seems like you really have encountered THAT MANY embittered people. Have you really not met any middle class men with kids and a wife and an ordinary job who are NOT miserable? Perhaps you and I meet very different people considering I know quite a few men in their 40's and 50's who have hobbies, are intelligent, make decent livings, are decent parents, and so on, who are not running around angry, complaining, and worn down.

Take my close friend who is a former pro competitor who now has a one year old son. He's 41 years old. He is smart, has diverse interests, has a decent job (but not rich), still loves exercising (mores to keep in shape these days and for fun), and has close friends and loves his wife and is very dedicated to his kid. Are such people that rare?

I actually know of quite a few married guys with kids, wives, and high paying careers (not stinking rich, but VERY good) in their 50's who are still very physically active and happy.

I know two. They are intelligent, have some fun and take a very good care of their kids. yes - they are still constantly overworked and tired/stressed out but seem to be happy. If I'd talk about people that I enjoy spending my time and talk constantly - they doesn't cut it, regardless, they just haven't had time to read/learn/do as much and just can't keep up, that's how it is and it is natural/expected. I would not like to be one of them, that's all I know, yet I find these people a good example and a possible way of life. The sad part is - they are really rare cases... somewhy. Probably because of human nature. We eant life to be one way, to believe "happily ever after" and all that stuff... but somewhy - it's not the case usualy. The amount of people that have been divorcing in the last ten years, who were in a marriage for 20-35-40 years is pretty crazy, I think ppl go out of their mind. Some of the used to tell me that I should marry too. Now they keep silent. I do not like this state of affairs.

[da_vinci]

I manage to..

Maybe I'm just exceptional.   

But remember the time commitment varies depending on the age of the children.

Maybe. I hardly imagine being a good parent and living as free as I live tho'. But it's all good, we need good parents so less of bad people grow up around.

[Las Vegas]

Good, thoughtful post.

I get annoyed by bitter mom's acting like you must help them , just because they had kids.


In a BB related idea, it chaps my ass when some meathead says they are competing for some higher purpose.
I've seen countless bikini bimbos with various heroic statements ,emblazoned  on their gym attire  

Sorry sweety, it's not a courageous , heroic act to train/ diet , so your ass and thighs to look good.

big LOL

[Grape Ape]

Maybe. I hardly imagine being a good parent and living as free as I live tho'. But it's all good, we need good parents so less of bad people grow up around.

Can't say - not sure how you live - I mean it seems you're doing well - working, dating, travel, clothes....but you'd have to give up SOMETHINGS to be a parent.  Not sure if it's fair to apply the freedoms of a single man to that of a married one with kids.  The math doesn't work.

Like BBS said  though, it depends on the circles you run it....most I know are successful, happy families, in terms of marriage, kids, work, etc....so maybe my context is skewed too.

[da_vinci]

Can't say - not sure how you live - I mean it seems you're doing well - working, dating, travel, clothes....but you'd have to give up SOMETHINGS to be a parent.  Not sure if it's fair to apply the freedoms of a single man to that of a married one with kids.  The math doesn't work.

Like BBS said  though, it depends on the circles you run it....most I know are successful, happy families, in terms of marriage, kids, work, etc....so maybe my context is skewed too.

Just don't forget we have statistics too (which are objective). Things doesn't look pretty... sadly. It'd be nice if relathionships and long term marriages would be much easier eh?

[Grape Ape]

Just don't forget we have statistics too (which are objective). Things doesn't look pretty... sadly. It'd be nice if relathionships and long term marriages would be much easier eh?

Not forgetting - i've been asking for links on the stats if you check the prior page.

But stats need context too.

[da_vinci]

Not forgetting - i've been asking for links on the stats if you check the prior page.

But stats need context too.

They change depending on a country/part of the world, but general situation is far from optimistic. Anyway, time for some rest for me now, all is good as long as noone is harming noone, and discussions/experiences are good, sometimes the truth comes out of them.

[Grape Ape]

They change depending on a country/part of the world, but general situation is far from optimistic. Anyway, time for some rest for me now, all is good as long as noone is harming noone, and discussions/experiences are good, sometimes the truth comes out of them.

Stats at worst are 50/50, but my quick 5 minutes of googling showed many articles stating that those numbers are overblown and incorrect.  And another poster posted 60% today.

And I'm not saying the numbers are rosy either....I just dislike when assumptions painted with broad brushes are portrayed as absolutes.

[Man of Steel]

How is he? I find it odd how people pound out the negativity on someone like MOS, yet he is the one with the problem?

It's quite alright.  I pray for those that ridicule and mock me.  I don't find fault in them for things they don't understand.  Discussions can get heated at times, but I still love them with a love grounded in Jesus Christ.

[Kim Jong Bob]

If you are a good parent - not much time for other activities, well unless you are filthy rich and don't have to work much. That's my personal and subjective observation, I MAY be completely wrong. But I don't put that as a negative thing anyway, some people are naturally like that and they usualy make great parents.

so what  activities do you  and most grownups over 30 without kids do on a regular basis that people with kids cant do without being a  poor  parent ?

[DroppingPlates]

so what  activities do you  and most grownups over 30 without kids do on a regular basis that people with kids cant do without being a  poor  parent ?

Like errrr... going to the gym on a dailee basis

As an example, a female colleague (and milf) of mine loves to stay in shape, but since her boyfriend is already working out 5-6x/week, so she has only one day for a workout herself.

[Raymondo]

It's quite alright.  I pray for those that ridicule and mock me.  I don't find fault in them for things they don't understand.  Discussions can get heated at times, but I still love them with a love grounded in Jesus Christ.

More and more people come to understand that God does not exist and religion is irrelevant.

Looks like I captured the contempt before you were able to edit the post this time.

[SF1900]

More and more people come to understand that God does not exist and religion is irrelevant.

Looks like I captured the contempt before you were able to edit the post this time.

lol at we do not understand God or religion. We are just so lost. MOS has life all figured out.  What will we do? How will we live? We will obviously wander around aimlessly with absolutely no direction. 

[Raymondo]

lol at we do not understand God or religion. We are just so lost. MOS has life all figured out.  What will we do? How will we live? We will obviously wander around aimlessly with absolutely no direction. 

Haha, yes, we'll be alright though because he will pray for us

[SF1900]

Haha, yes, we'll be alright though because he will pray for us

I already feel his prayers working. My life has already changed.

In before MOS says something like, "I will continue to pray for everyone here and love all of you. I hope you surrender yourself to God and find his love. If not, the ending will be tragic." Typical cliche stuff.

[OB1]

Sniffing the religion drug can be fatal...

[Primemuscle]

If I could suck myself I wouldn't need the woman.

Same. I'm just not that flexible plus my dick isn't monster long. Oh the trials of getting off.

[Primemuscle]

Wow 

For me, making goofy fart or butt sex jokes may be goofy and in poor taste .
BUT, c'mon, anyone who thinks it's a serious reflection on my wife takes this stuff way too serious.

Think about it, please:
99% here don't even post under their actual name.
How the hell can anyone take that posting format all that serious and honest.
FYI, it's meant t be goofy, tasteless and FUN!

While I understand your rationale, I will not go places which I am uncomfortable with just to amuse a bunch of anonymous schmucks. Fart jokes are fine, although definitely more suited to the prepubescent. I guess you really are "goofy" come to think of it.

[BBSSchlemiel]

so what  activities do you  and most grownups over 30 without kids do on a regular basis that people with kids cant do without being a  poor  parent ?

This is what I don't get about da_vinci and people with his outlook. Although he has said much reasonable things here and I've seen a side of him I didn't see before in his Mike O'hearn worship posts, I just can't wrap my head around his ongoing mass-man-is-miserable style mantras, nor would I think some guy has it made because he has little or no worries, a la Howard, who has somehow managed to post thousands upon thousands of posts all over the net on various forums.

Like I said, some guy wants to live worry-free and to live for ongoing and eternal FUN, let him go exploring for his remote island a la Robinson Caruso. I am not old (36 years old) but I never got he whole notion so pervasive these days that life should be one giant nursery room with never ending diversions and constant safety and comfort and no worries or obligations. Hence the common line, "your life is not your own" and that, Oh boy, if you have a kid, it is an obligation for life. We wouldn't want such commitment as grown men now, would we?

[Man of Steel]

More and more people come to understand that God does not exist and religion is irrelevant.

Looks like I captured the contempt before you were able to edit the post this time.

lol at we do not understand God or religion. We are just so lost. MOS has life all figured out.   What will we do? How will we live? We will obviously wander around aimlessly with absolutely no direction.  

Haha, yes, we'll be alright though because he will pray for us

I already feel his prayers working. My life has already changed.

In before MOS says something like, "I will continue to pray for everyone here and love all of you. I hope you surrender yourself to God and find his love. If not, the ending will be tragic." Typical cliche stuff.

I forgive you both and pray God shows you grace, mercy and blessing.