Re: having kids....

[SF1900]

I forgive you both and pray God shows you grace, mercy and blessing.

More of your condescending attitude lol.

What are you forging us for? Lol

Ps - I forgive you too.

[Radical Plato]

What are you forging us for? Lol

For being honest 

[SF1900]

For being honest 

 

We should be forgiving him!!

[Kim Jong Bob]

Like errrr... going to the gym on a dailee basis

As an example, a female colleague (and milf) of mine loves to stay in shape, but since her boyfriend is already working out 5-6x/week, so she has only one day for a workout herself.

well then she is together with a egocentric douchebag...most couples with kids i know make it work either by taking turns or go together with the kid...im a single dad and have no problems on my week to find time to go to the gym and its easier when you are two. Sure you cant go 2 times a day 6 days per week but its not impossible to stay in shape just because you get kids...and the older the kids get the easier it gets to find time


Quite easy fix just up your dose with 1.5 for every gymhour you have to sacrifice

[da_vinci]

so what  activities do you  and most grownups over 30 without kids do on a regular basis that people with kids cant do without being a  poor  parent ?

Let me see... I'm training five days a week, an hour and a half, without a rush (heavy training, can't be in a hurry), I took a flight to Paris a few weeks ago, just for a weekend (with my gf, mind you), I pretty much bought tickets two days before the trip, and that is not a rare occurence. Tonight I'm going to a big party of my good friend who's a great artist and it will happen in a high building with a great view to a city (he had a gallery opened this week and it's an "afterparty"), I have a nagging feeling I'll be back when the sun rises (I don't drink or do drugs, it's no biggie to get back on track for me), I like taking bike rides at night when it's warm, just put on some good music and enjoy the empty streets (my work schedule enables this), I have a certan hobby that I will better not talk about (nothing homo, just no need for too much private details) which I like a lot, and if there's time left - I do it for a few days a week, I love reading, used to be books, now I read on the web, work related material and science, takes quite some time, I like going to holidays a few times a year, usualy short, but I'm still completely worry free when I can leave and when I can get back, sometimes I go to a different place to work, just to change the enviroment. If money will be right - I'm gonna buy some fancy ghey sports car and try to learn to drift or some other amateur level car sports stuff to be able to participate in the events that I've had urge to do for a long time, I like cars. When it's summer I hit the big music fests hard (once again - no alco/drugs, I dont need that), that has been a big love of mine for many years, I'll probably be one of these old crazy fellas still dancing if I manage to reach that age (which is not very likely I guess). Oh.. and I still have time left to post various bullshit here. (I've cut all the other similar internet activities a long time ago, GB is the last one standing lol).

Is that enough or should I continue? I'm pretty extreme, I have some opportunities and I like to use them, there's no "down" time for me pretty much, I do not know, and havent ever knew what does it mean to be "bored", and it's not even about money usualy, but about an inner drive, a burning desire to experience, to have action. I've inherited it, some of my family members are like that, just they havent managed to stay childfree and had me, a cynical hedonistic asshole  

[da_vinci]

Hence the common line, "your life is not your own" and that, Oh boy, if you have a kid, it is an obligation for life. We wouldn't want such commitment as grown men now, would we?

Is that obligation compulsory? I don't think it is.

BTW - I may have kids one day, maybe for a female if I care enough, other than that - why would I want to? (and I LIKE kids, I get along with them great. No kid hater here) I'm not asking you to tell me why should I want anything, because I know exactly what I want, it's more of an answer in a question style, I don't see any great reason to reproduce. I'm pretty lucky, tho' I've had my share of shit ealier too, a pretty hard shit, but I see lots of individuals who are suffering, to be honest - most are suffering, I don't see this world as a place that many would be very grateful if someone brought them to life in it (most doesn't have even the decent genetics to transfer/lack self criticsism horribly and think their blood line is something to cherish), I have a strong mind so I cope with it well, but not many have a strong mind, not many have decent genes and it's a frustration for lots of people. That's why sales of anti-psychotic/sedative meds are billion dollars worth market.
 After all - I don't see a point of life itself, I do not make a big deal off it, it is not a "serious bussiness" for me personally, when the fun is over - I'm pulling the plug, with a big smile on my face, because I'll know that I've felt alive more than most. This - to get you better understand my kind of mindset, but it is certainly not to convince you of anything, just a glimpse to a different kind of outlook, I do not want to argue you over this, what is "better", what is "not", I couldn't care less, and we both have our own point of view/experiences and personal history/influences/etc, I just saw that you are interested, so hope this helps.

[Kim Jong Bob]

Let me see... I'm training five days a week, an hour and a half, without a rush (heavy training, can't be in a hurry), I took a flight to Paris a few weeks ago, just for a weekend (with my gf, mind you), I pretty much bought tickets two days before the trip, and that is not a rare occurence. Tonight I'm going to a big party of my good friend who's a great artist and it will happen in a high building with a great view to a city (he had a gallery opened this week and it's an "afterparty"), I have a nagging feeling I'll be back when the sun rises (I don't drink or do drugs, it's no biggie to get back on track for me), I like taking bike rides at night when it's warm, just put on some good music and enjoy the empty streets (my work schedule enables this), I have a certan hobby that I will better not talk about (nothing homo, just no need for too much private details) which I like a lot, and if there's time left - I do it for a few days a week, I love reading, used to be books, now I read on the web, work related material and science, takes quite some time, I like going to holidays a few times a year, usualy short, but I'm still completely worry free when I can leave and when I can get back, sometimes I go to a different place to work, just to change the enviroment. If money will be right - I'm gonna buy some fancy ghey sports car and try to learn to drift or some other amateur level car sports stuff to be able to participate in the events that I've had urge to do for a long time, I like cars. When it's summer I hit the big music fests hard (once again - no alco/drugs, I dont need that), that has been a big love of mine for many years, I'll probably be one of these old crazy fellas still dancing if I manage to reach that age (which is not very likely I guess). Oh.. and I still have time left to post various bullshit here. (I've cut all the other similar internet activities a long time ago, GB is the last one standing lol).

Is that enough or should I continue? I'm pretty extreme, I have some opportunities and I like to use them, there's no "down" time for me pretty much, I do not know, and havent ever knew what does it mean to be "bored", and it's not even about monet usualy, but about an inner drive, a burning desire to experience, to have action.

so you are a bad parent if you go to paris over a weekend or a party and have hobbies? And staying in shape i have  no problems with doin..and most People  over 30 dont even to to the gtm kids or not. I totaly see why some people dont want kids and nothing wrong with that but you seem to think that being a parent means your whole life  revolves around taking care of a infant and that you dont get any time for yourself(they get older you know, but i give you that the first year can be tough). ....you seem to have a little  fauly look at what being a parent means and base your whole look at parenthood around that


And most people over 30 dont train 1.5hour 5times per week

[da_vinci]

so you are a bad parent if you go to paris over a weekend or a party and have hobbies? And staying in shape i have  no problems with doin..and most People  over 30 dont even to to the gtm kids or not. I totaly see why some people dont want kids and nothing wrong with that but you seem to think that being a parent means your whole life  revolves around taking care of a infant and that you dont get any time for yourself(they get older you know, but i give you that the first year can be tough). ....you seem to have a little  fauly look at what being a parent means and base your whole look at parenthood around that


And most people over 30 dont train 1.5hour 5times per week

No, I simply know that no good parent would be able to live like I do, and I love how it is for me, so - yeah, I would not be a good parent, nor would I want to change places with most of them. One kid could be bearable (aside other negative stuff that may happen during a long term marriage), but a few - you are either a very wealthy and careless parent so leave them for other paid ppl "to take care" like many wealthy pl do or you just don't have much drive to do things yourself and are content with being at home/working most of the time and going out with your family sometimes, when the time is right, money are enough and none of the kids are sick/doesn't have to go to some pre-school/after-school activities or are old enough to fly/yougn enough to not care where you take them/doesn't cause issues with bad behavior/etc/etc..
 
And most people over 30 dont train 1.5hour 5times per week - I don't want to be "most", most people are not happy/depressed and are suffering/miserable drones/slaves for someone smarter/stronger/bigger asshole, most are uout of shape, slowly dieing inside with lots of fears and stress. I find most people to be boring/lifeless. Hope this helps.

[DroppingPlates]

well then she is together with a egocentric douchebag...most couples with kids i know make it work either by taking turns or go together with the kid...im a single dad and have no problems on my week to find time to go to the gym and its easier when you are two. Sure you cant go 2 times a day 6 days per week but its not impossible to stay in shape just because you get kids...and the older the kids get the easier it gets to find time


Quite easy fix just up your dose with 1.5 for every gymhour you have to sacrifice

Yeah, I had the same thoughts about her boyfriend. I saw him a couple of times and I suspect he has ADHD, which is no excuse of course.

Every time when I hear parents about their busy agendas, I feel blessed for living a pretty relaxed life. I admire those parents who are able to plan their time, without too much stress and worries, but I believe they're a minority

[Radical Plato]

I like taking bike rides at night when it's warm

I do the same thing, love riding and walking at night. If I was to choose a favorite time of the day, definitely the night between 10pm and 5am in the morning.  And man, don't be afraid to try some rec drugs, many people enhance their lifestyle with them and never have problematic use.  I recommend some mdma, lsd or some 2C-B.  If you can drink coffee without it becoming an issue in your life, then you can certainly use those substances with zero issues.

[BBSSchlemiel]

 
 
And most people over 30 dont train 1.5hour 5times per week - I don't want to be "most", most people are not happy/depressed and are suffering/miserable drones/slaves for someone smarter/stronger/bigger asshole, most are uout of shape, slowly dieing inside with lots of fears and stress. I find most people to be boring/lifeless. Hope this helps.

I AM in favor of your outlook on this modern oppressive system that turns people into mindless, bill paying slaves.

[da_vinci]

I do the same thing, love riding and walking at night. If I was to choose a favorite time of the day, definitely the night between 10pm and 5am in the morning.  And man, don't be afraid to try some rec drugs, many people enhance their lifestyle with them and never have problematic use.  I recommend some mdma, lsd or some 2C-B.  If you can drink coffee without it becoming an issue in your life, then you can certainly use those substances with zero issues.

Lol, same here, I love to work at night too, but after a while it takes its toll so I try not to abuse that. And walking/riding at night is nice because its not too hot when summer. Regarding drugs Im not an addictive type at all so Im not afraid of that, what is important to me is that my mind would work as effective as possible, I need it for work, and generally Im a performance freak, have an obsession about optimising everythong for best performance, that and Id not be too happy if drugs would affect my generally positive mindset and mood in every day life. You know...the neurotransmitters, etc.. But I will def try some acid, and if I like it, it may be something like once a year special occasion. Im sure that moderate use is not an issue with most of these substances, but Im just overall not too much into it. Now listening music while high, thats tempting as hell. Most ppl around me are rollin molly when Im out.

[da_vinci]

I AM in favor of your outlook on this modern oppressive system that turns people into mindless, bill paying slaves.

Im glad we agree at least on some points.

[OB1]

I do the same thing, love riding and walking at night. If I was to choose a favorite time of the day, definitely the night between 10pm and 5am in the morning.  And man, don't be afraid to try some rec drugs, many people enhance their lifestyle with them and never have problematic use.  I recommend some mdma, lsd or some 2C-B.  If you can drink coffee without it becoming an issue in your life, then you can certainly use those substances with zero issues.

Same.
Just don't agree on the drug thing.
Especially chemicals.

[Man of Steel]

I fully support  many of you that have decided  to never have children.

[OB1]

I fully support  many of you that have decided  to never have children.

Do I sense some questionable undertones there?

[Grape Ape]

No, I simply know that no good parent would be able to live like I do, and I love how it is for me, so - yeah, I would not be a good parent, nor would I want to change places with most of them. One kid could be bearable (aside other negative stuff that may happen during a long term marriage), but a few - you are either a very wealthy and careless parent so leave them for other paid ppl "to take care" like many wealthy pl do or you just don't have much drive to do things yourself and are content with being at home/working most of the time and going out with your family sometimes, when the time is right, money are enough and none of the kids are sick/doesn't have to go to some pre-school/after-school activities or are old enough to fly/yougn enough to not care where you take them/doesn't cause issues with bad behavior/etc/etc..
 
And most people over 30 dont train 1.5hour 5times per week - I don't want to be "most", most people are not happy/depressed and are suffering/miserable drones/slaves for someone smarter/stronger/bigger asshole, most are uout of shape, slowly dieing inside with lots of fears and stress. I find most people to be boring/lifeless. Hope this helps.

No argument over whether to have/not have kids.

All the stuff you posted above is perfectly fine.

The part that's missing is that once you have a child in conjunction with a great relationship, your priorities will change.  You'll likely still be the same person and like a lot of the same things, but you'll find you'll want focus elsewhere, and you won't mind.   Cliche, but it's really not something you comprehend until you do it.

I enjoy exercise, good food, travel, and playing sports and making fun of people online.  I still do all that.  I just don't play ball 6 nights a week anymore, etc.

[SF1900]

Do I sense some questionable undertones there?

It's his condescending attitude coming through. That he thinks hes better than everyone else because he believes in God.

[OB1]

It's his condescending attitude coming through. That he thinks hes better than everyone else because he believes in God.

Probably.

[Purge_WTF]

 Proud far-Right, blue-eyed, blonde-haired twice-born Christian myself, and I never wanted kids. As the Lord said in Luke 14:28, count the cost. A lot of the parents I've talked to over the years eventually say some variation of I love my kid(s) to death, but..... It's one of the biggest and most important decisions you'll ever make. If you're having doubts, don't do it.

[da_vinci]

No argument over whether to have/not have kids.

All the stuff you posted above is perfectly fine.

The part that's missing is that once you have a child in conjunction with a great relationship, your priorities will change.  You'll likely still be the same person and like a lot of the same things, but you'll find you'll want focus elsewhere, and you won't mind.   Cliche, but it's really not something you comprehend until you do it.

I enjoy exercise, good food, travel, and playing sports and making fun of people online.  I still do all that.  I just don't play ball 6 nights a week anymore, etc.

It's like I'd  say to you - if your kids die you will be relieved. Let's not predict for other ppl, eh? You have no idea who I am and how I live, what kind of a person I am and so on. This sounds like MOS saying "You don't understand god until you start to believe in it.".

I don't need to do heroin to know that it feels good, but is a trouble at the same time. On other hand - when you invest so much time, money, sacrifices and attention to something - it becomes "very valuable" regardless if it's a pile of shit or gold.

After all - have you asked yourself at least once - What is the point? I did. And the answer is - I see absolutely no point. Good for you if you do.

Interestingly enough - majority of most intelligent members on this board clearly support "no kids" stance (like T.Adonis for ex).

[SF1900]

First off, its difficult to put a definition on what "freedom" actually is. Its a very subjective term.

With that said, and for the sake of this statement, lets pretend that freedom equates to being able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it.

With that in mind, its quite obvious that people without a wife and kids are more "free." You get to sleep-in when you want, take vacations when you want, randomly go out without any burden (without having to finding a babysitter). Basically, you only have to answer to yourself. If we go with my above definition of being "free", I do not know how anyone can even attempt to argue that parents are more free than single people. Its just not the case. They aren't. It doesn't mean its necessarily a bad thing to be less "free," but its just the way it is. As someone who is single, I can just leave my house and go anywhere I want. That is not the case if you have a 6 month old in a crib. Now, this doesn't necessarily mean that single people are happier than married people with kids. I am not saying this. I am just pointing to the objective fact that, on average, single people are more "free" when compared to parents (if you equate being free with my definition above).

[Grape Ape]

It's like I'd  say to you - if your kids die you will be relieved. Let's not predict for other ppl, eh? You have no idea who I am and how I live, what kind of a person I am and so on. This sounds like MOS saying "You don't understand god until you start to believe in it.".

I don't need to do heroin to know that it feels good, but is a trouble at the same time. On other hand - when you invest so much time, money, sacrifices and attention to something - it becomes "very valuable" regardless if it's a pile of shit or gold.

After all - have you asked yourself at least once - What is the point? I did. And the answer is - I see absolutely no point. Good for you if you do.

Interestingly enough - majority of most intelligent members on this board clearly support "no kids" stance (like T.Adonis for ex).

You appear to be taking "you" personally, and not in the general sense of "everyone".

I'm not predicting for you, I'm basing it on the fact that if priorities didn't change under the circumstances, there would be no good parents.  And they don't only change for dullards, as in the examples of your "friends".

Anyway, your analogy is completely incorrect.   Assuming relief would be gained in a tragedy is not a parallel into theorizing a potential change in priorities upon someone who has a child.

And "intelligent members on this board" is akin to being the tallest midget.

[da_vinci]

You appear to be taking "you" personally, and not in the general sense of "everyone".

I'm not predicting for you, I'm basing it on the fact that if priorities didn't change under the circumstances, there would be no good parents.  And they don't only change for dullards, as in the examples of your "friends".

Anyway, your analogy is completely incorrect.   Assuming relief would be gained in a tragedy is not a parallel into theorizing a potential change in priorities upon someone who has a child.

And "intelligent members on this board" is akin to being the tallest midget.

For a responsible person these priorities would change, I agree. In case of extra circumstances many things can change. I would raise my kid too, leaving is a horrible thing to do to a person, but many people would prefer to keep these circumstances as they are.

[Grape Ape]

For a responsible person these priorities would change, I agree. In case of extra circumstances many things can change. I would raise my kid too, leaving is a horrible thing to do to a person, but many people would prefer to keep these circumstances as they are.

Glad you boiled down into one sentence because after all the back and forth and tangents, I was losing track of the actual point.

Can't really counter the bolded part, because I haven't seen any studies or data on "people who would prefer everything stay the same for them but had kids anyway".  But I'm sure those people exist.  Just as I'm sure those exist who wanted it, but then changed.